Banjo Boy

I’m Banjo!

I’m a six year old beagle mix. My hobbies

include barking, guarding, digging, and

snooping for anything edible in my general

area. But I’m much deeper than that. I’d like

to take this opportunity to give you a bigger

look into my daily life.

10/31/2020 - 8:00

Eight A.M. feels the same as it does every

day. The small human cries out loud enough

to put a rooster to shame. Then, out

stumbles a tired mom. I hear her sorting

through dishes in the kitchen, so naturally I

can assume it’s time for breakfast.

Well, to be entirely fair, it’s not my

breakfast she’s making. It’s for the small

human. I’ve come to realize mom has a

responsibility to feed every smaller critter in

this house. I don’t know why she insists on

doting on this one though, it’s extremely

demanding.

What’s that, mom? Where? Outside? Of

course, I’d love to go outside! That’s where

all of the other dogs are. Well, where they

were at one point. I never catch them, but I

smell a hint of them every time I take a

walk. I like to let them know I’m here too,

maybe they won’t feel so lonely. I see at

least 2 different squirrels on our walk, and I

know they’re taunting me. I fend them off

courageously with a plethora of barks and

charges, but mom doesn’t seem to

appreciate my heroic gestures.

After a solid 15 minutes of territory marking

and squirrel intimidation, I’m ready to go

inside. It has been cold out lately, and I’m

not sure when mom plans to turn that off.

After contemplating why she’d ever make it

this old out in the first place, I am suddenly

hit with the smell of breakfast.

Mom made eggs.

Eggs are one of my favorite table foods!

They’re smelly and they’re soft, all the

easier to swallow without chewing much.

This is by far my favorite food to eat at the

bottom of the small humans chair. I guess

it’s good for sharing eggs.

After a solid 15 minutes of egg snatching,

mom retrieves the little human, and they

make their way to the door. This is my least

favorite time of the morning. I don’t know

where they go, but they’re always gone for

so long. She pats my head on the way out,

and I follow them to the door. I like to wait

for her to come back in, because sometimes

she forgets to grab something and I get

extra head pats.

10:30

After roughly 10 minutes of sitting, I get

bored. It’s looking like I need to find

something fun to do. I hear the familiar

pitter-patter of kitten paws on the wood

floor behind me. My sister Nani is awake!

Oh boy! Nani is a cat, and normally, I hate

cats. But this cat is the best cat to ever claw

its way into my heart. We do everything

together. She drinks from my water bowl

with me. She enjoys naps with me in the

sunlight. She even plays tug of war with me!

Thinking about Nani makes me one happy

boy, so I jump up to go greet her.

I think amidst all of my excitement to see

her, I forgot how much bigger than her I

am. I run full speed so I can sniff her as

soon as possible. She didn’t reciprocate my

excitement though. In fact, she starts to

run away from me. She must want to play!

So I run faster in an attempt to follow Nani.

We continue laps around our home, this is

one of our best chases yet! But my attempt

proved to be in vain as she jumps onto a

high place, the dining room table. After

roughly 5 minutes of sniffing and jumping

at Nani, I lose interest. I decide she’s never

coming down. But something new catches

my eye.

It’s the trash can.

12:00

I have many memories with this particular

trash can, both good and not-so-good. I’ve

found a plethora of tasty things in there!

From a selection of rib bones, a stale

McChicken, even an old pan of spaghetti!

But usually, mom isn’t so happy with me

when she gets home. Most of the time she

sets the can out of reach but, I suppose she

forgot today. I’m sure she won’t mind if I

just take a look around. I won’t make any

mess.

1:30

I’ve made a mess. Nani the cat is now

eating what remains on our dining room

floor. I can only hope she cleans the rest of

the evidence for me.

1:45

Ah, yes, early afternoon. This time of day

offers a great selection of sunny spots

through the windows of my home. I take my

time selecting the best one, and on my back

I go, belly up to soak up all of the warmth

the fall sunlight has to offer.

2:00

I hear the door lock click. But it feels like it’s

too early for mom to be here. Hey, who is

that!? I jump up and run like a chubby

slobbery bullet to the door. It’s my duty to

protect this house until mom is home.

Oh! It’s just a friend here to take me back

outside. What a good friend! I like this

friend. Maybe he’ll appreciate my squirrel

hunting abilities. I eagerly pace at the door

as he searches for my leash, the I notice, the

screen door is cracked. Maybe I’ll just get a

small head sta- and now I’m running!

2:30

I never meant to run this far from home. I

have so much excitement for being outside,

I just can’t turn down the opportunity. After

all, this time was far from wasted. I chased a

rabbit. When the rabbit got away, I found

myself a perfect spot to dig! One of my

favorite activities, if you can recall! Now my

paws are muddy and I’m very thirsty after

such a long run. I decide to seek out a nice

human who may give me water. It’s amazing

how many nice humans I can meet when

there isn’t a leash attached to my collar. As I

walk down the street, a couple of very

friendly girls stop to pet me. I decide to

follow them home, and sure enough they

gave me plenty of treats and water. I’m

almost decided on staying here forever

when my friend from earlier shows up to

retrieve me. My new human friends must

have called the number on my collar. Just

when you think you really know somebody.

4:45

I’ve been locked in the kitchen using baby

gates. This is beyond humiliating, and there

are no sun spots here. I’m beginning to

think my friend from earlier isn’t exactly in

agreement with me about what a good time

outside is.

5:30

Mom is home! I hear her keys jingling as

she unlocks the door.

“Banjo where are you?” she calls.

I bark once, my excitement overwhelming

me as I jump on the gate. She comes to

greet me happily, patting my head and back

as I lovingly lick her face. After a lovely

greeting, I walk behind her, eager to show

her how well I guarded the hou-

Oh no. The dining room.

With my tail tucked and my head down, I

pretend as if I didn’t know anything about

what occurred in this room. Moms

eyebrows furrowed as she looks around at

the mess, and she sighs as she begins

picking up the remaining pieces. Maybe I

can pin this one on the cat.

7:00

Dinner time! Mom is making pork chops,

another classic favorite of mine. Although

receiving this wonderful treat seems

unlikely, as mom hasn’t spoken to me since

she cleaned my trash mess. Even so, I sit at

her feet, performing the best pity face ever

known amongst puppy eyes world wide.

After certain defeat, I tread begrudgingly to

my own food bowl. After eating the food

meant for me, mom drops a pork bone into

my bowl! She’s really the best.

8:30

Bed time is near, but I’ve been sentenced to

spend the night in my own bed in the living

room. But, what was initially an unpleasant

sentence quickly became a favorable

experience. I do 5 or 6 circles in my bed,

nuzzling into a comfortable slumber. Nani

mews from across the room, and once she

was certain I was relaxing, she comes to join

me. Crickets chirp outside of the window,

the wind blowing just enough that I can

hear leaves blowing over the sound of

mom’s quiet television. The house smells of

porkchops, the cat purrs quietly next to me,

the small human ceases its’ calls for

attention, and I sleep peacefully after

another full day of being Banjo.