3 Viral Videos Proving Spiders Are Still Scary as Hell
Seriously, we think God just created these eight-legged freaks to make our skin crawl.
We have no doubt the insect world teems with unsettling images, at least when you're up close or deep in the dirt. But spiders? Hell, you see those monsters in the corner of your bedroom! And forget the fact that they're handy neighbors to have around, chewing up mosquitoes, flies, and other pests with ease.
The Fact Is a Spider Doesn't Tell the Difference Between Your Skin and an Insect
Brown Recluses, Black Widows, Wolf Spiders, they'll attack you if you give them a chance to. It's that simple. And the fact is a brown recluse could easily kill you if you're not quick to get your feet going, get into a car, and head for the nearest emergency medical center. Their saliva's pretty close to the acid blood of Ellen Ripley's Aliens (no joke).
So it's no wonder that some of the worst and vile horrors of yesterday's golden cinema monster movies still ring true today, especially when you check out these latest viral videos of some of the freakiest real spiders (well, one of them is a clip from a video game!) you'd ever not want to see:
No, This Isn't an Illusion
Although it could be. Look real closely, and you should be able to see the big black tennis ball with legs. What's shocking is what will be happening to this little ebony bundle of joy as you watch the video right here.
You'd think people are just plain crazy. Why bother? Maybe some deserve to get their faces ripped off by denizens of hell. They could be harbingers of death. Forget the crows. While those are murders, these suckers are total genocide or holocaust, as the blood curdles over the fact that these freaks actually liquefy their prey with those hideous mandibles of theirs.
Yet somehow we have this urge to 'clean' out their abodes, as if it means something to us. Can you smell the sweet revenge of an arachnid poised and ready to spin you into a sac? Have you guys not seen Lord of the Rings at all? Or Harry Potter?
Yes, Motherhood Is... Lovely
Let us remind you just how fast spiders populate. In fact, we believe there's an actual study done that spiders, if practically ruling the world, could eat us all alive in just one year, theoretically.
Yes, that is a mother tarantula and her many, many, many, many, many babies frolicking around her. And they're all equally dangerous (maybe, we're not entirely sure). Just think we saw the potential in a certain film called Arachnophobia, but perhaps you'd want to see these little suckers and the big sucker in action right now? Check it out.
Okay, so This Is a Clip From a Video Game...
We're not entirely sure what video game clip this is from, though. But this for sure teases the imagination of what could happen if radioactive fallout occurred, and instead of a little lizard spawning Godzilla, we have a beast like this coming over for tea and cake.
The fact is this isn't out of the realm in a way. Back in prehistoric times, spiders like this were common. All insects were of a much larger size given the climate. Centipedes? Those suckers were about the size of a sedan back in the day.
So just imagine... this was real.
And to think we want to be stupid and somehow clone Tyrannosaurus Rex (for real, no joke, this isn't fake news made to popularize Jurassic World or anything) because technically the monster lizard is just the ancestor of a... chicken.
Let's bring back these big boys just for kicks. Or Titanoboa for fun. While thinking about that really hard, let's just view the clip, shall we?
Good, Now That We've Traumatized You....
You probably could check out the main site right here, and see some more scary stuff. Yep, clownsc vamps, witches, demons. That'll help you forget about the creepy crawlies.
I am an author, adventurer, and father, living with my wife, four daughters and one son in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I've trekked through tundras, waded through swamps, wandered through deserts, and swam in the Great Barrier Reef.