Woman of Strength

Act I:

The white rose in the garden took me by surprise, as the wind blew east its pedals and thorns called my name. I longed-for the day I would hear it again. I began to breathe, profoundly; my chest felt tight, almost as if my heart had skipped over a thousand beats. The way I see it, society and life in general disregards mental ability. Experiences, outlooks and perspectives make us human, we are conditioned to act, play and expose ourselves not in a vulnerable way but in the ways others view us. Why? I’m no scientist or psychologist but I do know this, we push ourselves too much. We think too much, I think too much. We react too much we portray too much, is that bad? Who knows. What I do know is that I have full control. My mind, body and soul are the key to my personal life, these essential factors showcase the person I am and still becoming. I’ve traveled far, and for being 24 years old my experiences are beyond me. I never knew that at 13 years old I would sing “just dance, gonna be ok” for the next 12 years or for the rest of my life for that matter.

Sometimes I feel like I want to be somewhere else. Maybe experience a place I’ve never even seen before. Lady Gaga, or as I call her Mother Monster, has taken me to that place. For the past 12 years of my life she’s been the strength that sometimes I don’t have. I struggle to find happiness in the darkest moments of my life, I break myself down and tear myself apart. She serves as the fire that fuels my strength, the power that’s deep inside me even when I don’t feel it. She takes me to outer-space when I need to escape earth. As a gay Mexican-American I am put into a category, one that’s part of a hierarchy and instantly I’m put at the end, not in the middle or in the front but somewhere in the back. I say none of that really matters. Why should it? Who says it needs to define me and place me in society? Boundaries aren’t real, I don’t care what people say, I know the truth. I’m not less than my freedom. I’m a loser, a jerk, a winner a good person, a bad person but my individuality changes as my life goes on, I flourish and grow, just like flowers, roses even trees. My bond with Gaga lies on perception, imagery, sounds and who I perceive myself to be or to become in the future.

Act II:

It’s not the futuristic sounds, the fame, or beauty. It’s the messages of love, kindness and strength. She is a philanthropist, humanitarian, actress, Grammy-winner, singer-songwriter, performer…the list goes on, but above all, she is a woman. A free woman, a woman of strength, a woman who doesn’t need permission, a woman of love, courage and acceptance. I’ve traveled far with her. She told me it was ok to be myself, that I was born this way. She’s inspiring, in all the ways, the numerous albums, the message, a message I’ve carried with me for over 10 years, and will as long as I live. She has carried me from my childhood, through my adolescence and has changed the way I see the world as an adult. When I was in high school I wasn’t sure about my sexuality, I mean I was sure about my sexuality… I always knew I was gay but I felt that I needed some confirmation and when born this way was released, it changed my perspective and allowed me to think of myself as an individual who is accepted, loved and cared for. “Joanne” inspired and changed my life, once again. My mother was gone for a year due to circumstances of immigration happening in America in 2016, and still today. That album gave me hope when I had lost every drop of it, it made me sing at the top of my lungs and gave me optimism for a better future to come. So, what I mean by it all is that no matter where I am in life, she will always be there, because there is nothing like music that makes you feel.

Act III:

I’m not sure where to go from here, but I know I have her to help me, her songs, the soundtracks to my life. The ups and downs, right and left turns but she seems to always help me find myself in the center. It could be my sense of willingness to get back on track with whatever it is I’m doing but it could also be the forces in my life helping me avoid being lost. There’s nothing wrong with being lost but it’s better if you’ve found yourself, when I feel grounded I understand what I need to do to achieve the things in my mind. So, as I do what I want, as I look in the mirror, I walk the path of strength and spread kindness, love, compassion and courage in all of life’s mysteries.