Why you have to be a monster

Today I was ice skating with some friends and it was really interesting seeing the people who were the best at it. Those who were tentative, nervous, and waddling about didn’t do so well- they simply couldn’t move anywhere (or at least without any speed). However, the opposite end of this included people who went way too quick, cocky and ended up landing upon their ass (can’t lie that was me).

The best people were actually those who had confidence within their movement, very strong, unwavering movement but controlled- not sporadic and frenzied.

It was in this balance of being relentlessly confident yet, having control which is an interesting dynamic.

There’s this Chinese proverb that goes as follows:

“It is better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in war”

The meaning I take from this is that you need the confidence to be prepared for anything. Almost to the extreme that you are almost too focused and believing in yourself and the challenges you have laid out for yourself. This then enables you to have the belief, the warrior-like strength, to take anything on or react with calm to anything.

“You should be a monster. An absolute monster. And then you should learn how to control it.” — Jordan B. Peterson.

The problem with this mentality is that it is hard.

You have to be able to have a hard look at yourself and see where you are being too over the top, you have to be open to criticism yet firm in your own beliefs, changeable yet unchangeable.

I’ve often found in my life, I’ve increasingly been encouraged to be timid, agreeable, and emotional.

In and of themselves those things are great but too much of them is counterproductive, especially when wanting to progress and go after things not attainable without hard work and dedication.

Like the ice skating situation, the overthinking didn’t get you anywhere.

It was the boldness that brought about movement but the calmness which brought the professionalism.

Sure you can be this ‘nicer person’ and that works for nice situations, but when moving to any external force stressful that won’t be the case.

Going to the extreme which can handle most if not all situations- the monster- then learning how to control it for specialised situations is a much better way to go in my opinion.

It’s easier to refine than to muster up the courage.

Ultimately, you’ll have a leaning one way or the other.

Too much confidence, or too little.

Too little- you are probably ignoring areas of your life where you are talented and don’t fully grasp how unique and brilliant you are.

Too much- you are probably looking down on others because you think you are better than everyone else.

I personally always found myself with too little confidence/self-belief. I believed the notion that you always have to be humble- but I took it too far.

Nowadays I actually listen when people speak well over me, I analyse all situations- good and bad and be objective on it rather than self loathing. I will be selective in my close friends and speak out my values and core beliefs- constantly reminding myself of who I am.

This results in sometimes not having time for negativity in my life- I care too much about the mission and the good things I can do for myself and others if I focus. I can’t be ‘Mr nice guy’ for that to happen though.

But you will inevitably be less 'popular' if that's your mindset.

It's priorities at the end of the day.

Do you want to be a monster in your focus, so intentional with your mission, so dedicated to your craft? Or just 'go with the flow'.

I hope you make the right decision.

"Normality is a paved road. It is easy to walk but no flowers grow on it." - Vincent Van Gogh