Which is the Better Teacher: Failure or Success?

Did you watch the video? I hope so, there is an ode to my life's VS angel moment which has been turned into gif, amazing right?

Anyways, back to the point, I’d like to slightly expand upon the question that was asked of me, "failure or success," now that all is said and done. I can say that I will NEVER be Miss USA. It’s not because I don’t have the confidence to believe I could be Miss USA. It’s just that I have now “aged out,” and my hunt for the crown was short-lived compared to many other young women who spend their lives to fulfill this dream. I mean, I guess I could still be Miss USA, but I just don’t think to forge a birth certificate and pretend I’ve had a twin sister named Nire this whole time, is the best use of my time.

I feel fulfilled, which is weird because I mean, I technically lost. I mean, sure, it’s one of the most challenging state pageants in the country, and yes for a “beginner to get second-runner up is a huge feat," but guys, come on, we can all say it…I LOST. I won’t go cry in a hole or shave my head.

The reason why I feel so good about this “failure,” is because even though it’s a loss in the pageant record books, it’s a huge WIN for the record book of my life, and that is very, very important. To me.

So how?! How did I walk away from this loss without feeling like a loser? Well, simple, because what I say in that video is true. Just because you lose the battle, doesn’t mean you’ve lost the war.

My plate is now clean. I feel full. I didn’t need to win to gain what I was supposed to gain for the journey of my life. Between you and me, I may have gained much more.

You see, cleaning your plate of things that you know aren’t meant for you is a great way to get clear about what is for you. I’m not one for jumping out of planes or bungee jumping, but I imagine that the reason why people do those things is that it gives them the same feeling I had competing and when I force myself to maximize my potential to the fullest towards short term goals.

“I put myself out there to stand tall, be ‘extra,’ share my opinion...”

There is always a risk involved in setting a goal. If you are ambitious and intentional, like me, perhaps you’ll enjoy taking calculated risks towards accomplishing your goals, I know I do.

I’ve found these risks to be worth it because I am staying true to what makes my heart sing, that deep desire that propels me to do and be my best, and because of this I know I am carving out a lane that is fit for me.

I’ve heard “yes” often in my life, but plenty of “no” too, and for me, no is simply “not now,” and in the meantime of “not now",” I plan to stay ready, so I don’t have to get ready.

It’s nice to punctuate an experience without any feelings of self-doubt, and I think the reason why I feel some good about this ending is because I was to give myself the gift of showing all that I am, it may be corny to use the slogan of the Miss Universe Organization since they’re not going to employ me as Miss USA or Miss Universe in this lifetime, but I DID feel “Confidently Beautiful” because I was myself.

I put myself out there to stand tall, be “extra”, share my opinion, show how grateful I am that my body is fit and that I take care of it, wear super tall heels, and be elegant and glamorous. I gave it my all, knowing there were no do-overs, and I can’t think of a better metaphor for life. So yeah, I’m leaving the pageant world behind as a loser, but please believe me when I say, I WON.

All Love,

Erin