What is a Queer Boss?

What is a QueerBoss?

I am one of 63,026. That’s the population of the island of Guernsey where I was born. You might not have heard of it before, but it’s coupled with a few other islands in between the UK and France. It can be a bit strange at times, the phone boxes are yellow, the road names are French (even though the island speaks English) and ultimately it’s famous for a special breed of cows. I lived on Guernsey until I was 11 years old. My parents ran a busy guest house in the centre of the island, and my life was pretty simple. Around this time was the first significant shift in my life. I didn’t know who I was going to be yet or where I wanted life to take me. So I was shocked and confused when my parents told me we were moving. They were planning for us all to move from Guernsey to mainland UK. At age 11, the thought of losing my friends, my school and pretty much everything I ever knew was devastating. I cried, pleaded and flat out refused to move. Little did I know that would be the start of an enormous self-discovery journey. One that simply wouldn’t have happened if I stayed confined to the island of 63,026.

Oh, and I should probably mention, I’m gay. That was another major shift in my life, well maybe less of a change and more of a realisation. Today, I live and work in central London for the second-largest fashion company in the world. I can pop for drinks in Soho or have ice cream in Piccadilly Circus if I want. This was a massive dream of mine. Maybe not the ice cream part but living in London and being myself. My gay, wonderfully queer and fabulous self. It took a lot of work to get here and a heap load of not so great decisions, but I did it.

I’ve recently had another vital shift in my life. Maybe not as important as moving away or discovering my sexual orientation. But perhaps just as impactful. I’ve learnt to reflect. Reflect on who I am, where I am and how I got here. To reflect on community, the impact of others and the importance of doing good. If you couldn’t already tell, a lot of this article has been the result of inspired action. I just knew I wanted to spark conversations, drive a message and challenge the norm.

The problem is, I suck at staying focused. Maybe, that’s not entirely true. When I have something I want to do, I go in hard. I do whatever it takes. I’m determined. I do my research, gather what I need and make an impact. I suffer from being a problematic perfectionist. I’ll set myself a huge, audacious goal and will stop at nothing to produce excellent results, the first time. I rely a lot on my ability to be resourceful. There is nothing I cant find out from an hour with Google or YouTube. The only learning curbs I set myself are steep ones. I’m quite confident when I say most of what I know today, I’ve taught myself. I went out and got it. I stood up and said “Do you know what? I’m capable”. Why is this problematic? Well, it comes with an element of pressure. Don’t get me wrong; pressure can sometimes be a great driving force in succeeding. But the pressure to be perfect right from the word GO, that’s hard. It sometimes means that I don’t believe my work meets the standards I put on myself. I’ve always been someone who wants to run before I can walk. That means falling over, a lot. But when you finally get up and sprint for the finish line, it can feel like everything has come into place. You might call this focused. But the deal is that once I’ve finished that race, I’m off. I won’t be back the following year, and you won’t see me at training. I’ll take what I’ve learnt and go. On to the next venture, whatever that might be. I recently took an online personality test. Not one of those “Which Disney price will you marry?” but a bit more of a deeper one. Admittedly I was sat on my sofa after watching a couple of hours of Netflix, but I don’t think that influenced it too much. According to this test, my personality type is ENFP-A/ENFP-T otherwise known as “The Campaigner”. It began by saying campaigners were free-spirited, charming, independent, energetic and compassionate.

I sat there, thinking this is great. I am. Stop it, I’m blushing! It was almost as if I was reading a list of compliments. I immediately told my housemate “You have to try this!” But they weren’t that interested. It struck me that maybe I was just a bit obsessed with myself. But in reality, it was a reflection on just how much I was searching for a purpose, direction and answers. It also managed to remind me of some home truths, just like how my drive for successes limits me from being fully attentive to any one thing. You see I cant do repetitiveness. I switch off. I just stop. But give me a new challenge, and I’m yours 110%! I don’t know about you, but I can’t stay in one place for too long. I have a deep-rooted need to push forward, whatever that might mean.

Over the past year, I have been obsessed, and I mean obsessed with self-help, entrepreneurship, following dreams and living my best life. But I had one big problem. Not one of these books, articles, podcasts and audiobooks, were aimed at me. I was not the target customer. For the record, I mostly consumed media aimed at female empowerment. Being a gay cis male it meant that not all of the advice applied to me and as a result I happen to know a lot about combating baby guilt and being a stay at home mum. But honestly, it happened naturally, I wasn’t against books written by male authors. I just gravitated towards the female perspective. Oh and if you’ve ever tried looking for self-help business empowerment books for the Queer Mindset then you know its slim pickings. It’s probably a reason why you are here with me now. So why is this the way? Why does the feminist business and empowerment perspective resonate with LQBTQ+ minds? Maybe because when I reflect on my own traits, I see a complete blend and amalgamation of masculine and feminine. The male perspective on business is often cold, ruthless, cutthroat and selfish. So if I want to succeed, I need to “smash it” or “own it” be no.1 and destroy my competition? But wait a minute I’m queer!

I believe in equality, community, embracing rich experiences and opportunities for improving the welfare of others. How in the world am I supposed to do that while I’m “crushing it”. Well, there is another way. The QueerBoss way. Hello, and welcome to the self-help business empowerment mindset and practical advice guru for a generation of open queer powerhouses. That means you! I don’t care if you are gay, lesbian, trans, non-binary, straight or just a bit queer. These articles are for dreamers with drive and an overwhelming feeling for more. What you identify as is not a reason to limit success, if anything it might just be your not so secret weapon. Being a QueerBoss means you get embrace who you are and be hugely audaciously successful at the same time! The only limit is the size of your dreams, and I genuinely believe that you can and will achieve them even if you are reading this page with no idea what direction to follow its ok. You’ve already taken the first step, and that means you are made for more. You want purpose, fulfilment and “normal” is not something you are interested in. We are going to talk about being “normal” a bit later, and you’ll discover why it’s absolutely the worst to be “normal”. Along with that, we’re going to tackle what might be holding you back and prepare you with some real business advice. I promise it will be simple, straight forward and completely kick-ass.

But wait a minute, who am I to tell you how to live your life. Well, I a don’t have a heap of qualifications I didn’t even go to university, and I’m not an accredited life coach or business mentor even if I’d like to be. These articles will be filled with my real-life learnings and experience. I hope that by putting these words to paper, I can inspire and direct you to an important realisation. You are Queer, you are here, and you can achieve anything you put your goddam QueerBoss mind to!

What is a QueerBoss? It is anyone who feels perfectly different, made for more and ready to take inspired action on their dreams to better themselves and their community. A QueerBoss embraces who they are and knows they are enough. A QueerBoss has humongous dreams and goals while recognising diversity, passion and integrity are the keys to success. QueerBoss’s see the potential in themselves and know we all have space to flourish. You are a QueerBoss and you are ready to rise. Your opportunities are endless; you can create success through determination and know that you are exactly who you are supposed to be.

This is the first in a series of QueerBoss articles. I'm sharing them with you to build community and hear thoughts while build these ideas into a new book.