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What does death teach us about being alive?

Dying mid-operation, 77 days in a coma, losing a business, and more: a story of Paul Evans

By DEUXQANEPublished 4 years ago 17 min read
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What does death teach us about being alive?
Photo by nikko macaspac on Unsplash

Have you ever read a book written by someone that came back to life?

The back of When I Woke Up by Paul Evans gave the short synopsis of the major events that took place during Evans's life—dying in the midst of a life-saving surgery, fighting for his life in a coma, living a completely different life in the midst of his coma (with its own traumatic event), being a fugitive, losing his business and rebuilding it, being held in prison (twice) and experiencing childhood bullying and chronic dyslexia.

To top it all off, the cover of the book was black, white, and yellow.

So, y'know, I had to have it.

Of all the awful, life-altering things Evans had experienced, the ones I want to talk about the most are his death during his surgery, being in a coma, and the loss and rebuilding of his multimillion-dollar business. Not just because I have an odd fascination with death, but because I think I can speak on these events the most.

Life After Death

Paul Evans was spending much of his time in Egypt building a multimillion-dollar nightclub business, alongside business partners Freek (pronounced "Frek") and Ramon. Enjoying the fruits of his labor, Evans would spend his leisure hours partying with them, along with friends who shared similar interests. However, in the midst of all of this partying, one morning Evans realized that he had awoken with a metallic taste in his mouth. No matter what he tried to wash the taste out with, it would persist. Even when he opted to drink some more alcohol and shrug off the oddity in his mouth, the drinks seemed to have no effect. He decided to return home after another usual night of partying, and the next morning, woke up to excruciating pain.

With pain in his abdomen radiating up his back, the metallic taste now strong enough to nauseate him, searing fever, and racing heartbeat, Evans was now convinced something was very, very wrong. In essence, this was an onset of acute pancreatitis. Couple this with additional events that transpired leading him to have methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (or MRSA), E. Coli, and diabetic shock, Evans was slowly entering into what would later be a coma.

To his luck, Evans was flown from Egypt (since the hospital there did not have the means to treat him) to a hospital in the United Kingdom, where a pancreatic expert by the name of Dr. Stevens had been present. Some events later, Dr. Stevens conducted a life-saving surgery on Evans. Evans described as seeing the operation happen as he watched from above, while Dr. Stevens progressed through the surgery. Mind you, a pancreatectomy (which is a partial or full removal of the pancreas) is not easy, especially if the patient also has other stuff going on (see previous paragraph).

Evans, however, had died on the operating table. In the moments leading up to watching himself die, Evans reflected on everything missing in his life—to prove to his parents he was a good man, to be a loyal lover to his girlfriend, to succeed in life, right his wrongs, and, if nothing else, at least have one last goodbye to the people he loved. But Evans watched the heartrate monitor flatline.

After three shocks from the defibrillator, Evans was revived in the middle of the operation. Dr. Stevens pressed on, and Evans continued to watch, cheering him on, even though nobody could hear him.

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

Though I hope neither you nor I would ever need to go through life-saving surgery, the value I took from this is how important it is to take care of your health as best you can. Not just physically, but mentally too.

If I'm being as candid as I can be, I think I walk with some mild anxiety. It's really nothing so debilitating that it would consistently mess with my daily life, but I have my moments. The first time I had a panic attack was when I was being reckless in college mixing stimulants and depressants. The second time was in the middle of the summer break in 2017 before starting graduate school, which also left me with a "mental scar," leaving me anxious until the fall semester began. Then it faded away and came back in early 2019 when I was halfway through my year-long internship. When the internship was over in June, it was gone again.

Just recently, I had gone through about a month-long phase of anxiety after the gyms had closed (I know, first-world problems, right) because of the pandemic. At first, I laughed it off. Much of my life consists of waking up, going to the gym, eating, working, leisure, then rinse, repeat. I'd see friends once a week or every two weeks. I figured quarantine life would not affect me all that much, and considering myself as a resilient individual, I thought I would be fine.

Sike.

Photo by John Arano on Unsplash

The gyms closed in March, and I was determined not to be caught slacking during their closure. I got right into doing an 8-week home workout routine, and then finished it somewhere in early May, and that's when the anxiousness started to kick in. I was getting these random chest pains and aches on the left side of my body. Me being smart the idiot I am, I chose to go and google the symptoms.

Results: Heart attack or anxiety.

Hmm…

I phoned multiple friends for comfort and advice. While my anxiousness episodes in the past have made me think I had some kind of heart condition, there was never any pain—until now. Palpitations, aches in my left shoulder and shoulder blade, and thinking of my own death were all present too. Ironically enough, you would think that someone like me, having studied mental health counseling would've gotten a grip, but it's different when you're experiencing it for yourself.

When I talked to my doctor, terrified of my future, she explained to me something I was completely unaware of that was causing all of these seemingly alarming symptoms—my diet. I eat a lot of dairy and meat. This causes a good bit of gas. Gas doesn't just escape the body through farting, but in other ways too. And sometimes it will escape around the stomach and abdomen (for me, closer to my heart), which can lead to pain that stops as soon as it starts. Once I stopped eating foods that caused me gas, the pains had vanished—and to think I was planning on visiting the cardiologist again.

For me, when I am in a consistent gym routine, it comes easily to me to ensure I don't eat something absurd that would cancel out my hard work. But with home workouts being less challenging and preferring to run on a treadmill than outside (yes, I am weird), I knew these workouts weren't going to be as effective. Thus, my diet faltered. I was eating spicy food and meals that cause a lot of gas, and just eating more food in general.

This all sounds really nowhere close to the terrible things Paul Evans actually experienced in his book, but I can assure you that my thoughts led me to believe I was en route for an agonizing heart attack. Since then, I've dug my heels deeply into a meditation routine to soothe my nerves. I even started doing online therapy to sort things out for myself with professional help.

Photo by Paolo Bendandi on Unsplash

I realized from my time away from the gym how much exercise had given me the mental peace, focus, and tenacity to keep it together. Now that I have meditation incorporated, I am that much more in control when I return. For you, it doesn't have to be exercise—but whatever it may be, I encourage you to find and stick to that hobby that makes you feel both grounded and feel like you're making progress.

When Paul Evans had re-awoken from his life-saving surgery, he had returned a new man. Not only did it take him months to fully recover, he made a concerted effort to be true to the people he loved and stuck to his word. Evans changed his ways for the betterment of his health, in both his body and mind. He mentions before the surgery:

"…People say life's too short. Unless you have been to life's cliff edge, you don't know how true that statement is. When I died, I was full of regret for the things I hadn't done and the wrongs I hadn't put right."

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

The Gift of Voice

Before his surgery, Evans was in a coma for 77 days, slipping in and out of consciousness. He mentions living a completely different life inside his coma—residing in another country and meeting his grandfather, who told Evans his father was going to die. In the real world, Evans's father was very much alive and well. What's more is that Evan's family and loved ones had come to visit Evans in his comatose state almost every day—especially his father. On Evans's birthday, he awoke to see much of his family surrounding him while he lay on the hospital bed.

However, even though he was awake, he couldn't speak. And throughout his career, Evans worked in sales and as an entrepreneur, which entails a lot of talking. But because of the sheer number of health complications, he had a tube in his throat to help him breathe, which prevented him from being able to speak. When the tube was later removed after his surgery and was finally able to speak, he made a realization:

"Being able to talk and to tell people how I felt and to express what I was thinking, as opposed to being locked in my own body of silence, was such an emotional release. Being silent when it isn't a choice is such a curse; having a voice—wow, what a gift!"

Photo by Honey Yanibel Minaya Cruz on Unsplash

When I used to work as a Resident Assistant (RA) at my university, I would less-than-occasionally participate in group discussions. My rationale for my lack of participation was because most other folks in my group/team had already said things I agree with, or things I would've said myself. In many of my own friendships, I don't always chip in my opinion or how I feel because I didn't really think it mattered. I even experimented occasionally with not speaking for a day or two, just to see what would happen. A couple of my friends who are passionate activists would, throughout the year, take vows of silence to raise awareness of respective causes. If you tried not talking for an entire day, you'd likely see how little control you have over the things that happen to you and around you.

But after making a return to my poetry in 2017, beginning my podcast over again, and taking my YouTube channel seriously, I realize now how important it is to speak. In a sea of voices, speak. Social media is where you can use your voice. For example, Instagram is like a public visual scrapbook of all the events in your life that you choose to share with the world, and it is a platform for your voice. Whether you record yourself talking or choose to write, your voice matters, and you should use it, in any way you can.

Sometimes I'll struggle to convince myself that I'm not just talking to air and that nobody is listening, but after all of the stuff I've written for Vocal so far, there really are people watching and reading my content. It's a bit crazy for me to even believe what went through my mind when I got my first tip ever—for my poetry! I didn't think my words were strong enough, but they were strong enough to move someone to send me their money. And that means my words—my voice, has power and meaning. And I encourage you to use yours.

And if you haven't "found your voice yet," write about trying to find it, too. Say something. Write something. Create. Be Vocal (hahahasdfghjkl).

Photo by Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash

The "Magic" Of Never Giving Up

While in Egypt, Paul Evans was helping his parents' dive boat business called My Rosetta. He also found himself purchasing a nightclub, which later grew into a multimillion-dollar nightlife business that also started in Hurghada, Egypt. In a few years after that purchase, and a couple of years after his life-saving (and life-changing) surgery, Evans and his business partner Freek were ready to take their nightlife business to the next level, building two new venues out on the beach in Hurghada, to be ready and running by December of 2005. It was September of that year. With only three months to build two new venues, time was of the essence.

To make things more specific, the goal was to build and open the first venue, named the Ministry of Sound (MOS) The Bar, by December 19th, and the second venue, named the Ministry of Sound Beach, by New Year's Eve. They worked meticulously around the clock—with speed that surprised me—and they finished one day prior to their planned opening. On December 19th, around 2 A.M., Evans's handyman/translator Saeed reached out to inform him that there had been a "small fire" that had broken out in MOS The Bar. Alarmed, Evans jumped out of bed and made his way over to his latest venue, hoping it wasn't too serious.

It was far more than serious.

The Bar had been completely destroyed by the flames that lit up the night sky from a distance, which, according to the book, had started from a welding torch. The sparks from the torch touched the thatched roof, and the breeze that flows through the venue had blown the embers unto dry tinder. A few moments later and the entire place was ablaze.

Jumping ahead, Evans convinced his and multiple teams to work for seven days straight, one team right after the other, in order to re-open MOS The Bar on Christmas day. From cleaning up the debris to rebuilding the surrounding walls and putting the finishing touches, Evans and his team succeeded. He then took a much-needed and well-deserved nap.

Photo by Renee Fisher on Unsplash

When I had first started my weight loss journey, I began around 250 pounds. I had done an absurd amount of cardio (and only cardio), reaching heights of endurance that I never knew were possible for me. I started with running half a mile, to a mile, to one-and-a-half miles, to two, three, and hanging around the 3.1-mile mark just to savor the ability of completing 5K's. I participated in my first 5K around Thanksgiving in 2014, and from then amped my distance standard to five miles. It doesn't sound like much to experienced runners, but for me to run five miles on a whim at least two to three times a week as a feat for me.

I went down to about 170 pounds by 2015. I was losing weight fast, and in a healthy way too—at least, physically and nutritionally. But mentally I was doing it in hopes to stop hating myself and to gain the approval of someone who I thought had feelings for me. While none of that romantic stuff ever worked out (plus I wound up regaining all that weight and more), there was a lesson I still hold dear to myself, even if it was five years ago. Never again would I do something so great in hopes of getting a chance with someone else. But what mattered now was: when am I ever going to embark on that weight loss journey again?

In November of 2018, I was sleeping over in my best friend's room on campus. We had jokingly (albeit seriously) agreed to participate in a particular abstinence event related to that month, and on the 8th day, I had awakened feeling more lively than ever. And I mean like, wake-up-and-suddenly-feel-very-refreshed. I remember sitting up from the guest bed and saying:

"Whew, wow. I actually wanna do work today! I think I even wanna exercise, too."

My friend, who had risen the same time as me, looked at me funny, knowing me as the individual who leaves much of his work to the last minute (no seriously, I began my capstone project a week before it was due) and obliged me with some heavy study and workout sessions that same day.

Ever since then, I swear on my life that I've ridden that wave of willpower to this day. From November 2018 to today, I've lost around 50 pounds, and am intent on losing more. While the process was twice the duration, I have learned to savor the journey of self-love and exercise. I incorporated a lot of additional exercises, such as HIIT training and weightlifting, instead of simply long-distance runs. I started off slow, with only three gym days a week, and somewhere along the line, I ramped it up to a total of six gym days a week. Things have been great so far in the fitness realm, and has become my mental sanctuary in troubling times. I love it. I really do.

Photo by Clemens van Lay on Unsplash

Whether it's about you restarting a process all over again or setting out on a brand new adventure, internally or externally, perseverance and consistency have been paramount. Because I rushed my first journey of losing weight, I never took the time to savor how important it was for me to keep the weight off when I did. And even though this second attempt has taken two years to pull off, I have learned to love and hold the journey sacred. Even a journey like this one, of starting to write on Vocal, produce content on my podcast, and make videos on my YouTube channel, I learned that enjoying what you do really does make a difference. Small steps are still steps.

I promise you, I have been the person that sat around and did nothing. My days were filled with work I didn't enjoy and sedentary leisure activities. If I stayed on that track, I'd surely pick up almost-irreversible health problems along the way. I'd gain more weight. I'd still be that crass, sarcastic, hopeless romantic (I'm just hopeless now, in case you were wondering). But I managed to turn it all around, gradually.

And while I'm nowhere close to where I want to be (I feel like I'm only 35% of the way there, maybe even less), I am certainly on my way. And after all of this time I had spent changing my life for the better, I continue to let myself be inspired by how much further I have to go. To me, it means I have so much more to gain.

Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

Evans has triumphed in ways that have defied the odds (and if you read his book, he defied them 7+ times). To me, because this book was published in 2019, I really felt like I was on this journey with him. It was a wild ride from the start, and while he has experienced life-threatening dangers, I must admit that his story made me feel triumphant too. Yes, my endeavors are vastly different from his, but the feelings he experienced—the terror, the gratitude, his resoluteness—those are things I felt and feel too.

I would rate When I Woke Up by Paul Evans a strong 8.5/10. I managed to read this book in two days because I felt that I had to. There is hardly a lull in the way he tells his story, and his experience with death and being in comatose is so, so valuable. If you've never had a brush with death or want more reasons to believe how precious life is, this is the book you will want to read.

When I Woke Up personally falls primarily under the "Sinew" category because of his transformed relationship with his own life and his relationship with those he loves. There has been such a subtle yet prevalent theme of family in this book, and it appears in almost every chapter. With each life-changing experience, Evans changes more and more as a person. For a secondary category, I would consider this book to be under "Nerve" because of Evans's gradual shift in mindset with each experience. While self-help books will certainly tell you what to change about your mindset, Evans shows you how. Through Evans's perspective, you see him transform into a young, enterprising go-getter to an accomplished, grateful, and loving father.

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Thank you for reading!

You can get a copy of "When I Woke Up" and read about all the extra perilous events Paul Evans experiences here:

or right here: https://amzn.to/3igucEx

For more works, you can find me on:

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About the Creator

DEUXQANE

93% of communication is non-verbal. Here's the other 7%.

I'm a licensed therapist. I love my kettlebell, steel mace, and rower. I've a soft spot for sci-fi, rollerblading, herbalism, poetry, drag race, EDM, and spending time in nature.

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