"Unfu*k yourself"

Life is about moments, brief and tiny moments that can fill our souls with peace or war. Can you imagine a world where you have no way to fight your emotions? A world where you have no control and are nothing but a victim of the circumstances. A world with no way out, where we are just roaming on a deep sea of feelings, memories, and past. It doesn't sound very comforting. Just the thought of you not controlling where you're going is enough to give you the chills. Imagine not being able to control what you think, how it affects you, or what you do about it. Does it sound hard?

Unf*ck Yourself is a book published by author Gary John Bishop. The New York Times described it as: "refreshing, BS-free, self-empowerment guide that offers an honest, no-nonsense, tough-love approach to help you move past self-imposed limitations." It is an excellent reminder of the fact that, yes, you are in control. No matter how helpless you feel, no matter how stuck life is at this very moment, you still can control how you react to it. You still control the amount of war or peace that you allow in your soul; you decide your ability to stand up and keep walking, and you have the choice to give up.

"You are what you do, not what you say you'll do" — Carl Jung.

It may sound basic, but it's not. We grow up thinking that we have no choice; we are educated to obey since we are kids. The thought of us having control of our emotions is a new paradigm. That's what this book is about; it starts like this: "Have you ever felt like a hamster on a wheel, furiously churning your way through life but somehow going nowhere?" and then it continues asking questions that reveal how we can control our reactions.

I liked the tone of it. It was a type of thing where you have an eye-opening conversation with a stranger that managed to see beyond your "I got it all together" face and connected with you and your feelings. The book goes beyond that, though, and gives you clear examples of where you are not having enough control: "The language you use to describe your circumstances determines how you see, experience, and participate in them and dramatically affect how you deal with your life and confront problems both big and small." This book stresses the fact that your actions determine who you are, as the Jung quote states at the beginning of this article.

DON'T EXPECT VICTORY OR DEFEAT. PLAN FOR VICTORY, LEARN FROM DEFEAT

Our past experiences shaped who we are. They are the primary source from where we were nourished, sometimes compassion and other times extreme self-criticism, violence, and disappointment. Even on a physical and chemical level, our past plays a vital role in our brain functions. Did you know that our brain is triggered in the same areas when we look back on our past when we envision our futures? Professor of Psychological and Brain Science Kathleen McDermott of Washington University cites the results of brain scans demonstrating that when subjects imagine potential future events, the brain's memory processing centers on the ones that light up.

Your past is important, but it doesn't have to be your ruler. It shouldn't determine your future unless you decide the opposite. If you choose not to take any action about it, not to rationalize what happened to you, then your past will be leading you. If you embrace your absolute potential instead of that, and you decide to start over one more time, life could be different, and your movie could have a happy ending. An ending that won't be determined by others. When we focus too much on our past, we justify ourselves and our actions.

This book told me to get my things together and start acting, that no one else has that power but me. It talks about the excuses, the drama, the ups and downs, but it also sheds light because it doesn't sugarcoat the problem. It addresses it straightforwardly. It pushed me into an imperfect action plan, which is better than no plan or no action!