Turning Adversity to Purpose

A dream of being a pioneer.

I noticed I had a knack for invention and discovery, remembering a long-forgotten dream, at the time.

I have started my first invention, using salty water, a couple of stereos, a multi-meter, and some good beats, I was showing my parents at the time when I came to my senses and realized “shit, I like this”, and I do not seek nor expect approval from it.

Victory over addiction.

It all started on the 6th of August 2018, I was fresh off the weed, an addiction that took a huge toll on me, I found myself not enjoying life as much as I was when I had the first joint.

I decided to get back to work, to feel productive again.

A small local Café, in Thornbury, Melbourne.

The Old Milk Bar. T.O.M.B.

The sun was shining, brisk cold, no cloud in sight, 6 am, feeling like a kid, “I’m trying something new for a change”.

Walked-in and there he was, Dion, with a smiley face, expecting me to arrive on time, standing behind the coffee machine, the smell of roasting coffee filled the air.

A deep breathe-in, “I’ve got this”.

Walked through the door.

Everyone was welcoming.

Toni, a proud Lebanese man, would soon be considered as a mentor. Steve, Louise, Daniella, Anna and Chilli.

A team of good-spirited people.

And Dion, Oh dear Dion.

Soon to be a friend, a good friend.

At that time, I had started to focus on my uni work, it was the end of the program project for engineers, The Capstone Project, and was “supposed” to be a big deal for engineers.

I enrolled on a biomedical engineering project, might as well try this side of engineering, perhaps I’ll find my passion.

Fate would have it, in 6 weeks we would have the first deadline, and due to some technical error, my request to join the team was delayed 2 weeks into the program.

“Shit I have a report to submit in 4 weeks’ time”, the clock was ticking, the team leader was not responding.

I grew flustered, I wanted to develop, design, test and diagnose, brainstorm, fail, succeed, and listen to some Jazz in the process.

“No reply, Argh… Fine, I’ll Do It Myself”.

Misfortune Befell.

On that same day, I go to work only to hear the bad news, Dion is gone, misfortune befell and took him as a victim of suicide. 25th December 2018.

I mean it is hard news to hear that a friend has committed suicide. It gets to you man, “Why’d give up this quick?” my first questions to him, I mean he might be hearing, he might be around, it is a wonder-full universe we belong to, filled with marvel, a miracle by itself; there’s the sun that shines through to our hearts and warms it, a breeze that makes it easier to breathe, you can run and cycle, you can Feel. Feel exhausted after a run, feel overwhelmed after forcing yourself to think, feel joy, love, anger, disgust. It is a marvellous universe we belong to, I’m sure there’s enough intelligence behind this design to believe that it might be possible to have Dion by our side, listening from beyond the veil of material existence.

“It must have been hard my dear friend”, “why didn’t you say something? I could have helped, could have listened”. But you “can’t really” go and tell a complete “stranger” that you need help, that “I’m about to commit suicide, but I REALLY WANT TO “LIVE”, help me get back to “LIVING”.

So I was angry, for 1 week, 1 whole week, 7 days, 168 hours!

“I’ve got to come up with a project idea to submit to uni!”

“What do I do?” I panicked, with anger.

Then I remember Dion and ask myself, and uncle google, “What is the reason behind suicide?”

Shocked in the discovery, that feelings, if allowed, can live in our mind, fill our thoughts, occupying our brain, and can lead a Human to suicide.

Light Bulb!! 💡

I’ve Got it, “why not create a machine that monitors your 6 basic feelings in real-time, notifying us of our feelings, so that we can make sounder decisions?”

The clock was running, hours left to submit the first report. (3 weeks)

Race against the clock has begun.

Ready. Set. Go.

*Fire the laptop up* “let’s dig in”

*Music Playing* (Loose Yourself-Eminem)

Starting with a google search, *to find keywords I can use for my research*, “how can one detect and classify emotions?”, several emotional intelligence blogs came up, *scroll through*

“Nope. Nope. Nope”

“Aha!” Keywords attained;

• Biomedical research.

• Group of scientist testing brain signal to detect emotions.

• Galvanic skin response

*Copied them on a pad*

Now, for those who don’t know, and want to dive deeply into certain subjects, there are specific search engines, like Google, that presents you with detail-rich and accurate information backed by extensive research and studies.

Web Of Science, for example, was the first one I’ve stumbled upon in one of the uni courses.

Using the keywords mentioned in the preceding paragraph, I pulled 10 journals and began my investigation.

You don’t just read through it, you ask the paper, mental questions, and you look for the answer in it, if you find it, Eureka, you write it down, if not, you move on to the second paper.

6 Am alarm goes off, “Oh Shit! My shift starts in 2 hours”

Time passed through, slipped under my nose.

*Brew Lebo Coffee*

The smell shocks my senses, woke me up.

*go outside, light a ciggie*

The crackling of the cigarette burning, first birds chirping, cloudy sky, brisk morning, “I’m alive!”

*Quick exercise, shower, background music, Bacon & egg breaky, change into All-black custom*

*Jump in the car, drive off to work*

“Now, how am I supposed to focus on work, if all I can think about is the project?”

*Clock hits 2 PM, Tired, but excited to go back home, jump in the car, drive, quickly unbuckle the seatbelt.*

*Fire up the computer*

10 new journals, *Repeat*

The alarm goes off, 6 Am.

“Shit! I missed my sleep time, again”

*Motivating myself* “Work, Let’s go”

The excitement of doing something that you esteem/ deem close to your heart took over, and for the next 9 months of research and hypothesis, I would stay up for 3 days, ±1 day, and sleep 12 hours, scheduling my sleep days with the days off from work.

By the end of the term, and after submitting all the research and project plan, it was time to design and develop.

Work was becoming a burden, dad offered to help with the bills, I accepted his generous offer.

Game time. *it’s time to put the knowledge into methods and systems.*

3 more months to present my project, at EnGenius, a science fair, organized by RMIT.

“Put yourself together, You’ve got this”, I told myself, after I had a panic attack.

Let’s first start by buying an EEG, electroencephalogram, headset.

*300$. “Shit!, how can I afford that?”

“I know, let’s find an investor.”

2 weeks, without one in sight.

I mean, where are the people that would like to see the world transform, innovated, bit by bit, sadly, it was all about profit.

During these 2 weeks, I was on the phone with an investor, pitching the idea and the science behind it. His only question was, “what is the Unique Selling Point (USP)?”

I repeated, “A product that can detect your 6 basic emotions in real-time, and report to your therapist or even be your AI therapist on the go is not a good enough unique selling point?”

“No,” he said.

I’ve had it, had enough. There and then I’ve made up my mind, I am doing it myself!

“I’ll build a homemade EEG from scratch!”

“What do I need?”

List of electronic components and tools.

“where do I get it from?”

Jaycar Brunswick.

“How much will it cost?”

I can only afford the electronic components; I’d have to do with the tools I’ve got.

*Jump in the car, Drive to Jaycar Brunswick*

*Procure the electronic components*

And for the next 2 months, and 2 weeks, I would eat spaghetti, egg and bacon, and live on my desk, tried 3 different systems, non of them worked. 10 different methods, all to no avail.

Burnt 3 electronic breadboards.

1 of the breadboard designs worked, using that I designed a portable circuit board (PCB) using software called Eagle, and when it came the time to put it together, print it, it was too late to order it online, DIY was the only option, bought a copper plate, etching material, black permanent marker, “shit, I need a cutter, I’m out of money”

Drove back home thinking that I wouldn’t need the cutter.

I was wrong!

When I tried to use a pair of scissors to cut the copper plate in half. It broke! I was left with chattered pieces. What Do I Do!!

Bounce back!

I would use the biggest broken piece, I had plenty of long wires, scissors, a soldering machine, and the components necessary.

August 23rd 2019 was the deadline.

1 week left.

The invention consisted of 3 parts; The signal detector, the signal processing and analysis, and the emotional classifier.

1 week left, the date was set in stone.

Sleepless days go by, as the clock is ticking closer to 23rd every new moment.

Stress levels to the roof.

EUREKA!

I call Mama on the 21st of August 2019, 2 am AEST, and complain,

“Nothing is working,” I said,

“Sleep Habibi”, mom calmly spoke,

“I can’t, it’s due in 2 days and it’s not ready” I panicked.

“Sleep Habibi and wake up with a fresh mind”.

I decided to listen to mom’s advice, and slept for the next 12 hours straight, hands down the best sleep I’ve had so far.

Suddenly, 💡 Light Bulb!

An idea wakes me up.

An idea I haven’t tried yet.

I jump on my desk!

Skipping exercise, shower, breakfast, everything I usually do as my morning ritual, I skipped it all.

I put together this new system and press the RUN button.

As the simulation was running, 1 min, 40 sec, 30, 20, 10…

I glance at my clock, its 11 pm, 8 more hours till the science fair.

“Come On, come on, you must work”.

5 seconds, 4, 3, 2, 1.

EUREKA!!!

The classifier worked!!! Detecting emotions at 53%.

Run it again, It must be improved! It must classify emotions with higher accuracy.

Update, use more data. Change this, take that, give this.

BOOM!

67%

Try it again!

Bara-bing Bara-bong!

73.10%

It IS READY!!

I Did It, I can now detect and classify emotions at 73.10% accuracy.

3 am on August 23rd 2019.

The rush, the glory, the excitement!

Pure Joy! The joy that lasted 24 hours!