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Top 10 Covid Coping Habits

Rant Therapy

By FarkasPublished 3 years ago 8 min read
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.. As a kid I was a distracted tyke whose main interests were food, music, my dad's collection of Playboy magazines and the hit TV show The Dukes of Hazard. Aside from those four pillars of humanity I also found myself in possession of a set of encyclopaedias published in the late 60’s aimed at exploring and explaining the various religious texts of the world.

These tomes containing imperfect translations of esoteric ideas were neatly placed in alphabetical order in my bookcase and much easier to peruse than the sunken treasure of skin mags in the bottom drawer of my dad’s night table.

My child mind perceived all sources of information as equal and potential gospel.

Having laid -an odd egg, my parents did their best with a child genetically predisposed to the Sturm and Drang temperament so characteristic of East European classical composers. Like so many other schnitzel schnorring mama’s boys, I fell easy prey to the piano banging shenanigans foisted upon first born sons of immigrant folk infatuated with the fine arts.

I was prone to mood instability, overeating and crying spells despite which I remained a quintessentially funny, somewhat overweight if pleasantly plump youth whom you might describe as charming to a fault and generally happy go lucky with pronounced devil may care personality markers. A fun kid though at times hard to handle, I was certainly the kind of friend with whom you might land in some trouble. Adventure and hijinx were par for the course with a little Moonlight Sonata thrown in for pathetic effect. Looking back, it's hard to know whether the copious amounts of Beethoven I practiced as a child cheered me or filled my soul with tempests and well.. stress. One thing is certain: Music can make us intensely aware of our innermost feelings.

My freshly landed parents were square-ish country folk, spoke with thick slavic accents and were palpably as terrified and suspicious of LSD and Beatlemania as they had been of Nazis and communism.

Fear driven.

But not I.

When I first smoked weed at age fourteen, I realized right away that I had found a good thing because my concentration span essentially doubled.

Like an ''ON'' switch.

Granted the topics upon which I chose to focus might not be those the teacher’s lessons aimed to convey, but there was no question that my mood was heightened in a way which (to my then adolescent brain) felt like newly refined control over what might come out of my mouth along with additional storage space for points I might wish to archive and elaborate on later in life through my work as a rant therapist.

Unlike comedy, unlike Shamanism, unlike psychotherapy, rant therapy requires little dedication, no thespian craft and only the spottiest semblance of storytelling skill. Given the absence of an audience, the connection to the self becomes primary and so the connection to an audience becomes tertiary. Rant therapy is not silent meditation.

It is a yoga of words to oneself.

For instance when I say:

-I’m not grappling the claws of addiction. I am grappling with the idea that society has moved on without me. Like children who won’t listen to reason. Children gone awry with caution. Children too frightened to light a fire so they risk freezing to death.

I'm talking to myself.

My kids don't hear me.

You don't hear me.

I hear me.

We are creatures whose wisdom descends by way of aural tradition.

The aural tradition of learning through storytelling.

By and large, as a species we have forgotten how to listen.

That's why music is so important. It transfers messages.

Songs do that.

Sounds alone can do that.

Without words.

The written traditions have always been reminders of the oral.

Like cheat notes for people who's heads aren't big enough to get wise.

It's important to remember what gave birth to what.

Information did not give birth to the human heart, -the human heart birthed what we have come to call information.

I'm walking around our apartment in my new leather jacket which I picked up for a song and which is easily and by far the finest garment I’ve ever donned.

A motorcycle style classic brown leather bomber, the quilted vest lining of which zips in or out with ease and simplicity. The zippers are heavy gauge, the rivets subtle.

Zip the quilted inner vest collar to the top and one can not help notice the saddle stitched doubled exterior collar. The inner guarantees full neck protection from the elements while the outer collar can either be folded down or turned up for a more James Dean, viper-like rear windshield effect. Despite the softness of the leather which is remarkable should the weather turn nasty, the jacket becomes an impressive cloak of protection.

So of course like any sensuous person, I want to be naked with it, right?

Because you haven’t really worn a garment until you’ve worn nothing but it.

With Covid isolation guidelines in effect, fun ways to distract oneself have come to represent hard currency.

Acquiring a habit is simple. Modifying a habit requires a lttle more effort.

The line between positive life building habits and meaningless ruts of ritual is dental floss fine. Whatever your habits: Choose your fun wisely.

Floss daily.

Practice with care.

Isolationists and fear mongers be damned!

A person needs contact with other persons.

A person needs to have some fun.

I love fun. I live for fun. Tell you the truth, without fun, I’d be first in line for the Robin Williams / Anthony Bourdain double feature which as you may or may not know boasts no happy ending.

Not to be glib but without fun what is there?

Saving money? (eyelid twitch)

Unlike most forms of addiction which tend to cling to us thorn like, the good habits i.e. getting plenty of exercise , -taking a daily vitamin and glucosamine supplement, drinking plenty of filtered water and practicing yoga seem inevitably to fall by the wayside.

The trick is to get addicted to your good habits.

Allow me to be perfectly blunt when I say I smoke weed religiously.

I do not smoke herb in the name of Jah. I smoke it in the name of good mental health and include it on my list of positive habits along with Pilates, yoga, taking walks etc.. I don’t think alcohol can be compared to weed in this way unless you are talking about a glass or two of red wine with supper. Or three. Okay a bottle of wine with supper is fine. But just the one.

Along with smoking weed and drinking wine, both of which I doubt you will take up just because I prescribed them here, I’ve compiled a short list of Covid friendly constructive yet simple habits for you to consider implementing in your daily life ritual as I have found these to be both fun and conducive to stress reduction.

TOP 10 COVID COPING HABITS

10 -Keep a journal. Even if it’s just a paragraph here and there -log it.

9 -Go for a walk. At least two miles, even if the weather is shitty.

8 -Sing something. Even if it’s nothing good. Sing it.

7 -Cook something. Even if you have nothing. With a wedge of lime, a Lester Young record and a couple candles you'll find you can make fine dining of cinnamon toast.

6 -Call someone up out of the blue. Anyone, your oldest pal, your dearest auntie, your ex in-laws, that contractor who took down your clothesline and never put it back up.. Everyone enjoys a little unexpected social call every now and again especially in these uncertain times. No texting. Ring them up.

5 -Get around to that chore you’ve been putting off. For instance, I have to take the air conditioner out of the front window. I guess part of me wanted to believe I might have to turn it on again. It was an optimistic way of justifying my procrastinating. (I am an excellent procrastinator and try to fuel it with optimism whenever possible.)

4 -Play a game. Doesn't matter what game or with who. Just play something. Online or off. Ideally with someone else (isolation guidelines may apply-please consult your local faction of fear mongering, self righteous ninnies) Cards. Scrabble. Backgammon. Chess. Throwing-knives..

3 -Get a leather jacket you love and wear nothing but it around the house for at least five minutes per day.

2 -Make inspired love with your significant as often as possible. If you’re living through Covid single, remember you’ve always got your leather jacket’s inner pockets into which you can whisper a few sweet nothings should the spirit move you.

1 -Read something you wouldn’t normally be caught dead reading : be it a republican newspaper, a Taoist poem (ideally a translation by Thomas Merton) or maybe a recipe by Martha Stewart for perfect pot roasts or maple-peach cobbler.

Today you read this. -So you are well on your way, kiddo.

Now if you’ll excuse me, my jacket needs me.

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About the Creator

Farkas

Michael Farkas was born in 1972 in Montreal, Canada where he currently resides.

Having spent the first half of his life minstreling to children he has found contentment writing novels, poems and shorts which pick at the fabric of life.

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