To The Girl

To the girl,

To the girl with the insane insecurities, the constant overthinking, the poor self-body image, the poor confidence, you’re better than all of that. You’re better than the person who made you feel so down about yourself that you doubt everything. You’re better than the emotional and mental torture you put yourself through and everyone else put you through. You’re better than bullying yourself. Don’t be like the person that damaged you the most.

There was a point in time you never thought you could get over that boy that broke your heart. There was a point growing up where you felt like your world was falling out from underneath you, but look at you. Standing tall and flawless and thinking how stupid you were for thinking that. Correction, you weren’t and are not stupid, you were consumed with the anger, hurt, and damage that the person left you with. There is a difference between being stupid, blind, hurt, and damaged, do not confuse them with each other.

Look at yourself, you’re still living and killing it! It’s hard, there is no denying that, but you’re doing it. You’re being stronger than what you thought you could be, you’re holding on even though you don’t see a point. Your unconscious mind sees a point otherwise you wouldn’t be here. There’s a tiny glimpse of you that almost wants to see what you can make of your life. Here’s a newsflash, you can do whatever you set your mind too. You’re bigger than the disappointments, the heartache, the depression, the anxiety, you’re defeating all of societies standards, or your bully’s standards for that matter. Including yourself. Those bully’ could be the people you thought were your friends, it could be your parents, it could be an ex-lover male or female, it doesn’t matter, you’re stronger and bigger.

The day you can look in the mirror and tell yourself daily you’re beautiful and you’re something special is the day you bury all the negativity. I’m speaking to myself as well as many other females. Whether you look in the mirror or tell it to yourself quietly before you fall asleep, whether you take positive quotes and place them where you can see them. Whatever you chose to do, that’s no one else’s business, it helps you and that’s all that matters. The more you tell yourself positive things, is the day you rise above the hate and terrible things that you endured. Whether you believe it or not, does not matter. It is true that hurtful words sink in deep quicker than positivity. It takes longer to believe something positive about yourself than it does to believe the lies you’ve been told.

I hurt knowing someone as great as you has been hurt and damaged so much that someone irrelevant in your life did this much damage to you. Look at yourself now, where is that person that hurt you? They’re no longer active in your life, their opinions don’t matter and they themselves don’t matter. Here’s so sad truth, they don’t care what they did to you, they are out there living their lives more than likely being miserable on their own not thinking about their actions or their words and that’s sad and dangerous. They’re delusional to their actions and it will eventually catch up to them. Whether it is in the next 5 minutes or 5 years, it will.

It doesn’t seem like things will get easier, you keep thinking, how am I ever going to get past this? When will I find something real? Stop looking. Plain and simple stop looking. When you openly and actively look for something to the fill a void that only you can fill, you open yourself to more damage and heartache. Become content and happy with yourself, love yourself before you include someone else. You know yourself better than anyone else, tune into yourself and work on the things that upset you the most. Write, color, date yourself, do everything you can to become happy with yourself.

Once you become happy with yourself you can then include someone else and it will be the luckiest thing you have ever done. Someone else will fall in love with you like you have fallen in love with yourself. I know… that sounds weird, cliché and tacky, but I promise it will work. I know it sucks not having someone there to hold when you feel down. Even if you’re not romantically involved with someone, it’s always nice to have a cuddle buddy, but it’s damaging. I know because I’m in this exact same spot right now, I miss the companionship of my past relationship, I miss the cute days, I’m recovering my heart. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and the best way to get past it is by writing. Writing out and facing the reality I refuse to face. Trying to gain more confidence in myself without coming across a selfish or conceited. Realistically. I need to be those things in order for me to grow, get past this, and become a better me for my future. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Stop comparing yourself to every other female, you are way more beautiful in your own way. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Not your looks, but your personality. You have a wonderful personality and are extremely beautiful in your own way. Size doesn’t matter, looks don’t matter, your heart is what matters. I know the reality of society is that guys look for the most attractive woman, here’s the other reality, those relationships are based on sexual attraction, they don’t last, and there’s constant fighting. It is more important to be intimate with somebody based on their wisdom and ability to carry out an intellectual conversation. Stop satisfying yourself with physical attributes, they mean nothing. Physical is not going to solve a fight, it’s not going to heal and mend a relationship. Mental is going to create a more intimate and passionate relationship then you could ever imagine.

Date yourself. Love yourself. Become a better you. Focus on the things you can control rather than what you cannot change which is the past and the hurt you’ve endured. You can however, overcome and become an inspiration to many women and men that have been hurt. Don’t forget, guys can have these issues too, you just only hear of the females because men are supposed to be superior and strong.