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To Sleep or Not to Sleep

And, if not to sleep … what do you do in bed?

By S.B. PedersenPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 3 min read
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I have a love-hate relationship with sleep.

At nine o’clock every evening, my household winds down. My husband goes to sleep. My dogs curl up and snuggle in bed. My daughter sits at her desk, heads down on wrapping up her homework for the night.

And, I get to sit in bed and do all the things they say are bad for a good night’s sleep. Read on my Kindle. Watch a movie or binge the latest Netflix series. Scroll through Instagram or watch TikTok videos. I will curl up and entertain myself from my side of the bed for at least three hours every evening, enjoying the quiet and uninterrupted “me” time.

This is nothing new for me. I’ve been like this since I was a kid. Growing up, bed time was synonymous with reading until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore. And, in college, I took my finely honed skill for staying awake all night and found that some of my best papers were written in the wee hours of the morning. And, no matter how hard I would try to tackle my work during the free hours of my day so that I could get at least a moderately decent amount of sleep each night, inspiration never really seemed to strike me until about 11:00 the night before the assignment was due. Once I graduated and moved into the world of adulting, watching a movie or reading a book became a decadent, guilt pleasure.

So, as I get older (and hopefully a bit wiser), the choice becomes … do I get more sleep and miss out on my “me” time … or do I deal with being a bit more tired the next day as I slog through phone calls and Zoom meetings?

In the end, even though I do hate being tired, I treasure my quiet time more. It’s almost like my form of meditation as I unwind and do what I want to do for those precious few hours.

Eventually, around midnight, I do finally plug in and charge my devices, triple check that my alarms are set, and turn off my lamp. And, then I find myself in a new zen place I adore. One where that feeling of total exhaustion and blissful comfiness overtakes me as I curl up on my side, bury my head down into my pillow, and pull my down comforter up to the very edge of my chin.

So, I guess you could say, my love-hate relationship with sleep is isolated to sleep. I love being in bed and relaxing. But, sleeping in bed and relaxing in bed are two totally different things.

I am a huge fan of the perfectly curated catnap though. Give me 15 minutes to quietly snooze on the couch over my lunch break, and I can power through the rest of my afternoon.

I am also a big proponent of resolutions and goal setting. On one, key condition. The goals I set for myself have to be personal and meaningful. They have to be something I really want to do or else it’s too easy to let myself make excuses and walk away from these resolutions.

So, this year, I’ve approached my New Year’s Resolutions very carefully and with a good deal of self-reflection. I’ve resolved to embrace the fact that I enjoy relaxing in bed. I’ve resolved to make time for the perfect catnap to replenish my sleep bank. I’ve resolved to unapologetically giving myself permission to do what I want with my quiet time each evening.

And, I’ve resolved to not feel guilty if … on the rare occasion that sleep sounds absolutely delicious … I decide to turn off the light and treat myself to an amazing night’s sleep at 9:00.

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About the Creator

S.B. Pedersen

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