The day I unraveled the suppressed

It all started by opening the car’s door and stepping outside as I gaze at the big written ‘x’ at the wall and it was red; red was everywhere.

Taking the first step my heart started racing with excitement. I was in a whole new world with a big yard full of different clothing styles and colors, and as ironic as it was we all shared the same passion.

Even if our purposes were different we were at least here for a certain purpose. Excitement was definitely blinding me. After seeing so many people from 2 weeks sick at home made me want to be here more and more; now it’s show time.

As the crowds go through the theater’s doors and of course I’m in the middle, me and a friend were seated in the 5th row.

As the host walks through the stage introducing the event as well as him, something attracts me to him, something sparkles in my eyes as I found myself not gazing at him but at the at the spotlight he was in.

And that took me back as when I was a little girl always acting what I saw in television and of course I was always a laughingstock.

Dreaming of becoming an actress and obtaining all the spotlight to myself I know I was selfish ,but I wanted all the attention and admiration on me and only me.

Unfortunately not all kids who dream to become heroes get to be one and that was me. Consistently, I always felt empty and not enough; the feeling of incompleteness like there’s a story to me ; I am not just a normal girl, I’m something much more bigger always hunted me and the desire kept growing as I grew older and older.

Being me was never enough anymore I was striving for more for something greater and accomplishing. The strive for spotlight and how I always fantasized being on stage and having it all to myself unraveled that day with much more intensified desires and flames.

It made me ponder the odds, that all this time I was suppressing something within me that wasn’t supposed to be raveled inside me. I was just deceiving myself: self-blaming, feeling wronged ,and unsatisfied.

All these feelings were piling up that moment and it made me ponder more, is that why I always felt lost and empty? All along the event I was overwhelmed with lots of feelings both negative and positive it was making me go mad and unstable that I couldn’t sleep at night.

I was anxious and exhausted, that all this time I was in denial ,but I finally came to a conclusion.

Everything we stumble on in this life is for a reason and that day I was meant to unravel all these suppressed feelings for a greater purpose in the future.

That is why we shouldn't give up on our dreams before even trying. dreams are made to be achieved and not suppressed within ourselves. don't let self-doubt consume you to the point where you ravel what have to be shown to the world.