The Case for Going Halfway

The motivational motto our entire lives has been to go ‘all in’. That you have to ‘go big or go home’. Go ‘HAM,’ baby!

But once you get to be my age -- with a bum left knee, emotional scars, and a trip to the emergency room for drinking too much coffee -- you realize that always taking a giant leap isn’t always so great. ...I'm 30.

This is the case for going halfway.

It was a picture-perfect day in Seattle in the middle of July 2013: blue skies, that distinct salty air wafting in from Puget Sound, and happy tourists making the city seem more vibrant. I had just spent the morning at Pike Place Market with my family. I was in a giddy state of disbelief: temperatures in the afternoon topped out in the 70s during the height of the summer. Maybe paradise was found in this pocket of the United States.

I left my family at the Starbucks on 1st and Pike and began my trek up the steep downtown hills to a television station where I had a job interview.

“Alright, how much money do you want,” the boss man asked me after just a few minutes in his corner office. I got the job offer on the spot!

In that moment of shock, a lot of stereotypical Seattle bliss flashed through my mind: “Seattle is everything I am,” I assured myself. Outdoorsy, vegan, LGBTQ+, liberal AF, actually seasonal compared to Texas -- why wouldn’t I come up here to have some fun in my early 20s?!

I accepted, and just two weeks later I made the drive up there with as much junk as my small car would hold.

Fast forward just five months later: *record scratch* Total opposite.

I’ll spare you the details, but the misery was found at work, with the culture shock, and with the climate.

That entire time was like living on a different planet. I’d never had such severe depression, such a lack of drive to do anything, and such a serious and rapid weight gain.

A few days after Christmas, I went home to Texas to see the family (four months after settling into Seattle). When they dropped me off at the airport to head back to the Northwest, I knew I would be returning to Texas for good. Three months later, I did just that.

So, let’s go back to the moment before I accepted this job:

Flashing through the alleged positives of the new experience:

• Live music scene, vegan food, cool people, "ugh, nothing like dumpy San Antonio"

Never stopping for a moment to think about the challenges

• "What do you know about this city? The people? You didn’t even meet anyone in the building aside from your new boss!"

Rushing to a snap decision

• "Yes! Yes! Yes! I accept!"

Never weighing the mental risks

• Was I ready for a cross-country move in two weeks?!

I had only spent a few hours in the city and I was already devoting myself to Seattle for four years (yes, I signed a four-year contract).

Now, the last thing you will ever hear me say is don’t take leaps.

But there’s a difference between free-falling and jumping with a harness.

And the older I get, the more I look back on the decisions I’ve made and how I can be a better, more focused and clear-headed decision-maker going forward.

Here’s the thought process that’s worked like a charm:

Be calculated. Be prepared. Be aware.

So rewind to when I was first offered the job.

Instead of turning-down the job and staying in Texas and instead of immediately accepting the job with a four-year deal... instead of free-falling on either side, I could have gone halfway.

Be Calculated: Ask for a week to consider the offer (I was on vacation, after all)

Be Prepared: Before accepting, do some deep research and ask a lot of questions about the company and about the city

Be Aware: Reflect in solitude and with family and friends: This would be my first major move: Out of state, the other side of the country, new environment entirely; Am I of the mindset and mentality to handle such a major shift?

I quit that miserable job in March of 2014 and although I had a hairy few months before fully getting back on my feet, thankfully the damage wasn’t too severe.

And it’s so easy to plug-in this mindset of going halfway when you’re in practically any situation.

When you wanna get a dog with literally no planning beforehand?

Go halfway: Volunteer at the shelter once a week and dog-sit for your friends first.

When you wanna exercise but you only go running, doing no other cardio WHATSOEVER?

Go halfway: DON’T JUST RUN! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR KNEES. Go strength train, yoga, spin, etc.

When you’re sitting at your desk at work right after Halloween or before Christmas and you have mini candies EVERYWHERE?!

Go halfway: Earn it! Want one? Walk around the office -- three times. Want another? Drink a glass of water with it. Want another? Did you eat your protein and greens for lunch first? Want more? Clear them out of your line of sight! None in your drawer, either!

All of these are also real-life examples of yours truly, by the way.

And yeah, I always have some science to throw your way.

Psychologists at the University of New South Wales in Australia took a deeper dive into this about a decade ago and they said “unconscious thought (a.k.a. snap decisions) is more susceptible to irrelevant factors (the things you don't think about during a moment of alleged euphoria)”

That’s all I’m saying: Go halfway and avoid a snap decision.

Be calculated. Be prepared. Be aware.

And if you live in Seattle, hey, no hard feelings. Let’s be friends -- but just in the summertime.

Let’s do this.