The Beauty of self-talk

Growing up means exploring “you” in all possible aspects of your life, well according to the “new” found me of course. I need to go back and tell the young me this because I was not fair to myself, I was not true to myself, I realized this now. I blocked all aspects of “me” I had to explore. How did I go from being a group leader with many ass friends to being this strong introvert? I will tell you, I was invested in being “liked/loved” by people, I wanted to “impress” people in my society, and I wanted to be a “good girl” that everyone looked up to. Well, it went well in being all that, but it shut down that adventurous baby girl in me. The curious-about-everything me.

Let’s move a bit from this sad story we’ll talk about later, now I want to share this lovely quote I got from Mr. Jim Wick, this wonderful brain researcher and a smart genius, first;

“YOUR MIND IS LIKE A COMPUTER, AND YOUR SELF-TALK IS THE PROGRAM IT RUNS”

If you want to create an app, for example, you will need to create a source code. That code is a clear instruction of what you want that app to do, and to add, the code is in the language the computer can clearly understand, so the code you write will reap the results, you cannot blame the computer if your code is not how you wanted it to be, you are the only one to blame, remember, you are the programmer. Now back to the quote, whatever you tell yourself is what your mind will reflect. If you tell yourself, “You are not enough”, your mind will certainly help you execute your ‘code’ of you not ‘being enough’, in this case, you will see that this is true. No one will take you out of that only you can go back to your ‘code’ and change it because this is your project no one has access to it better than you are. YOU CAN BE YOUR CHEERLEADER, ENEMY, AND MOTIVATOR/FRIEND, simply by what you tell yourself. Your mood is highly dependent on how you view yourself. Check it out for yourself. 😉

Now back to the story, change is inevitable, you can’t control it, well I learned this from my grade 12 L.O teacher. Growing up means change, because when you grow up, your age changes, your body may change, your mind/how you think changes, and how you see the world changes. Heck, everything changes as we grow. So, when it was my time to “grow” the f up I changed obviously duh *eyeroll*. Lol, well the change made me push myself away and be this closed-up girl, well I’m still in the closet in terms of my sexuality but we are not there, lol. I started my journey of being a “good” girl. It didn’t go well, to be honest, I hate the program I created, and I now realise it is never too late or too early to change it. I do not blame those “old” people trying to enjoy themselves, by catching up on what they missed when growing up. I am honestly proud of them because it is not easy to go back and check the errors you made when creating your code, because we don’t like them, in fact, I don’t like making mistakes, this is what I meant when I said “it didn’t go well”, so back to whatever I was telling you about going back to recheck your code, and rewrite your code. As long as you are still breathing you still have time to change whatever you don’t want about yourself, it is never too late to find yourself in this fucked up world and society, no matter how long it takes you. You have to forget everyone at this point because they don’t matter, this is your life, your program, your code that will be executed by your computer, get that in your head and don’t be me, the one who wants to live up to society’s expectations.