Thanks, Universe

Dear Whatever,

So, here’s the deal. When I found you, I was in the worst place ever.

I was sleeping on someone’s couch because I barely made $600 a month to pay the rent.

At some point, I was in debt with the crazy couple I lived with. I would have panic attacks all the time.

Remember, those were the days when I thought selling my first screenplay would change my life. So, I would meditate to calm and focus.

I would try to manifest the dream I want while meditating, but the couple I lived with would start fighting.

Every time I was focused enough to visualize and manifest, they would shout, throw things at each other, punch the walls and slam the doors.

One of those days when my friends dropped me back from one of our weed rituals, I found you at the doorstep. It’s like someone threw you away so that you could find your next innocent victim.

I didn’t know, but I wanted to try journaling for manifestation at that time. Meditation was not for me, so there you are like I called you in my life or I manifested you. Funny.

Do you remember what I wrote back then?

I didn’t have the money to buy a notebook. I was barely paying my rent, and the huge debt to the fighting couple weighed me down.

Their baby would cry all the time and wake me up at least five times a night. I think she knew she was cursed with these parents just like I knew I was cursed with a dream that’s never going to come true.

So, I started journaling with you. I would dream about selling a screenplay and earning $20,000 as my first production deal.

$10,000 would pay my debt, and the other $10,000 would help me get my own place because I can't listen to the couple screaming and their baby crying anymore.

And to my surprise, I got a manager that week and sold my first indie feature film. “It’s the best day of my life,” I thought. Remind me. Was it?

You stupid, little devil. I didn’t know what you were back then.

After moving into the new apartment that I could finally rent after paying my debt to the crazy couple, I took you straight out of my bag to manifest the next dream.

I wanted my new millennial sitcom to be picked up by my dad's favorite network to show him what I’ve become even though he didn’t believe in me at all.

Two days later, my manager found a producer for the sitcom, and we presented it to the network. They picked it up.

Soon, I was swimming in money, but I was still living in that first apartment that I rented on my own. That became my precious baby.

So, I started manifesting expensive things for my house.

Then fancy and supportive friends.

An attractive boyfriend.

A nice car.

A fit body.

Fashionable dresses.

Luxury travel.

I was never satisfied. You manifested everything I wanted in my life in less than ten months.

Until one day…

You were in a drawer, far away, so I couldn’t reach you when they came for me.

They kicked my door and arrested me right away without even waiting for me to open the door.

It turns out the manager and the producer duo that made my films were doing it for money laundering. I got involved with dangerous drug people.

And the worst part is, I never had a chance at the court because I briefly hooked up with the manager before that attractive boyfriend I had.

That’s apparently not a good impression. I mean, being a woman who had sex with a guilty man.

How stupid is that?

Nobody believes me when I tell them the story, and I understand. It doesn’t make any sense, so I know that it's your doing, you little black notebook.

I can’t believe I ended up here. I can’t even get high in this cage.

I’m losing my mind because of you.

You know what? I get it now.

If only I were patient enough to work for my dream life rather than magicking it before I was ready.

If only I were grateful to, at least, have a roof over my head.

If only I were willing to struggle before winning.

Thanks, Universe.

I understand the rules of manifestation now.

You can’t change your life unless you change your mindset and align with who you want to be.

But you can’t do that unless you make mistakes and learn from them along the way while working hard to make your dreams come true.

You have to appreciate the things that make you grow.

You have to appreciate the “now” because “now” is the key to manifesting your dreams, not a stupid little notebook.

You’re like my grandma, who used to say, “Everything has its time. Patience, my dear,” when I wanted to eat chocolate before dinner.

So, here’s the deal. Reverse everything!

I will go back to live at the crazy couple’s place!

I will work hard to make my dreams come true!

I will align with my energy!

I will believe in myself!

I will appreciate every moment of my life!

Just, please.

I need to go back to the beginning because I understand.

I don’t want anything to happen any faster than it’s supposed to.

Come on, manifest it, you stupid notebook.

Manifest it, why don’t you?!

Why aren’t you working?

What do you want?

I understood your lesson! I got it! Please!