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Stop Seeking Validation, Paint your Picture

Just enjoy the process

By Amby O AsonyePublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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Stop Seeking Validation, Paint your Picture
Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

It started with Facebook in 2011, then several Instagram accounts, several ignored twitter accounts and other social media platforms.

Am I the only one baffled with what to do with twitter?

Anyway. Where was I going with this.

Yes it started with Facebook in 2011.

Social media has played an important role in my development as a person and shaped my character and attitude towards who or what I want to do with my life. Something I'm working hard now to change.

Life is like a colour pallet. I'll tell you why in a second.

By Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

The number of likes on my posts, pictures became a determinant to how good they were. I might have come up with something I thought was incredibly genius or took an amazing photo from a crazy angle. However, if it only had three likes on it, whatever genius it was, became utter foolish and useless to me. Then I'd delete it....

Stepping back and looking at it. I have to ask myself. Why was it like that. I loved whatever it was. But I cast it aside because nobody else did. The reason I am telling this story is because this is the foundation of a lot of my failures in life.

We always aspire to be amazing at many things, do great things, but aspirations can only get you so far. It can be the driving force to working towards that dream. However, seeking validation is also another force. This time a force of destruction or a stumbling block. Depending on what you let it be of course. One can jump over a stumbling block if they tried hard enough.

By Kid Circus on Unsplash

Seth Godin says show me you bad writing.

There are a few layers behind that sentence. Often times we complain we are not good at something or we don't have the talent so we never even attempt to do it. Comparing ourselves to others who we believe woke up one day and painted the Mona Lisa. I studied art as one of my subjects in secondary school. One thing you never really see viral is Da Vinci's studies on the human anatomy or constant failures before the masterpiece we regard the Mona Lisa to be.

By Eric TERRADE on Unsplash

Fun Fact: She has no eyebrows. I bet if Leonardo da Vinci posted that on Facebook or Instagram, someone would spot it and make some comment about it. Or he'll probably get 10 likes, and take it down or feel bad because Michelangelo got 500 likes.

Do you yet see what I am getting at?

Seeking validation and comparing ourselves to others can steal away the precious practise time. Halting our journey towards where we want to get to. Practise time is really important. There is a popular saying that practise makes perfect. I personally find that irritatingly inaccurate. Practise only makes better. Even Beyoncé still practises and has insecurities, but that's what life is about.

I've seen people comparing themselves to me and deep down I say to myself. "You guys wouldn't want to be me. I'm still trying to figure out where I stand". The same way I compare myself to others wishing to be like them while knowing very little about their insecurities.

Writing about this, I see how much of a weird cycle this is. A journey in futility. To be liked by everyone, to be perfect in a world full of more than 7 billion people still struggling to be perfect with their own insecurities.

By Christina Rumpf on Unsplash

I mentioned before that life is like a colour pallet. This is something I heard from a Ted talk and would like to share it with you.

When we are born, we are given a colour pallet. The different colours represents everything that exists within that time. From our first cry, we've already started painting a picture. Some people mix colours to create a new colour which we refer to as an invention. And this will carry on till the end of time.

Now I've got two questions for you.

Why would you let someone else leave their picture and come to tell you the picture you're painting is bad?

Why would you leave your painting to go look at others and then change your painting to try to be like theirs?

Your painting is unique to you. My painting is unique to me. Our painting should tell the story of our life. It should leave a unique mark in the world no matter how socially unacceptable it is. Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream which was not "socially acceptable" at the time. That didn't stop him from painting his picture and leaving a mark in the world unique to him.

The practise is the output, not the masterpiece. Just enjoy the process and you'll get there. As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Click here to send me your thoughts. I promise to do my best to reply and we can have a conversation about it.

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About the Creator

Amby O Asonye

I want to share my stories with you

I want to share my struggles with you

I want to share my successes with you

Maybe you can learn from them as I have

Send me an email [email protected]

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