Stop letting others choose your destination!!!

When I was in my mid-20's, I was barely making it raising 3 children with little to no financial help from their father. I was on public assistance and I remember when I had to add water to the laundry detergent and milk to make it last another week. Not to mention the numerous nights I went to bed hungry so they could eat. Luckily, I was able to get a few minimum wage jobs here and there before and during earning my degrees.

Over the years I learned that my situation was brought on by MY thinking. I didn't surround myself with people who encouraged me or caused me to want to become a better person. I was stuck and didn't know I was stuck. I thought that this was the life I was meant to live. Nothing more, nothing less. My kids were healthy, they had clothing, a roof over their heads, and occasionally cable. I didn't have a driver's license or own a vehicle until I was 32. I either walked everywhere in town or friends would take me places if it was convenient. It wasn't until then that doors (and my eyes) started opening up for me. No longer was I limiting my life to a 1-3 mile radius. I started meeting new people and realized there was so much more to life. Getting out of the passenger seat was one of the best decisions I made.

Nine times out of ten, we have ended up picking what the majority wants to do regardless of our needs, thoughts, and desires. Why do we cave? As humans we all want to feel like we belong and that our mere presence makes the world a better place. The "people pleasers" are afraid of losing friends so they tend to give in and accommodate those around them. By doing this, they become step-stools and taken advantage of. The other group I refer to as "the don't give a hoots". They could care less what others think of them and have no desire to get involved with other people's affairs. They go through life looking out for #1 and do what needs to be done to survive. Then there's my group "the resolutes", who can find solutions to make all parties involved happy--including themselves. Those in this group have a desire for conflict resolution, helping others in need, and getting everyone where they need to be...even themselves.

When I made up my mind that I was no longer going to be in "The Passenger Seat", I had all sorts of adversity come my way in the form of family and "friends". We often surround ourselves with people who make us laugh and we feel comfortable around, but are we picking the right people to help us get where we need to go? Do they challenge us to do our best or are they stuck in their own mediocre comfort zone? Do they edify us or do they try to bring us back down to their level?

I strongly urge you to take a long look at the FIVE people you surround yourself with. Perhaps you just need to "change your 5" in order to get where you want to be. There's no sense driving to the beach in a car full of people who want to go to the mountains.

Stop letting others choose your destination!!!