Stop Being The Enemy At Your Gates
Finding Effective And Real Change For A Better Tomorrow
We sometimes become our own worst enemies when it comes to our approach to life and then we find out it’s we that are banging at the gates.
Do you feel held back? Are you constantly coming up short at work, in your personal life, or financially? Does your feeling about life stop and start with, “life sucks?” Your first tip is to get up, go into the bathroom and look in the mirror. Is the face staring back at you the enemy that holds you back from achieving your dreams and living a fulfilled life?
If so, you are not alone!
Stop Being The Enemy At The Gates
Are you aware that occultists, theologians, and fringy pseudoscientists believe there are gates between our world and the afterlife? What about the historical significance of gates? Many legends, history stories, and myths include the premise that there is our world and one that exists outside of our protective gates.
At urbandictionary.com, you’ll find The Enemy At The Gates is defined as an urgent and pressing matter.
It behooves us to stop being the cause of our urgent and pressing matters. If we are the reason there is an “enemy at the gate,” then it’s up to us to affect some real and meaningful change in our lives. That isn’t always easy or convenient. People will often choose to take the path of least resistance. It’s the one most frequently traveled.
Like anything worth doing, it will take work and sacrifice to make changes in our life. Figuring out the changes probably better be that first step.
What Should I Change
Every bit of introspection should start with a question about one’s self. What should I change? What about me needs improving? What could I do better?
You don’t have to share the answers with anyone. If you have someone that you feel comfortable asking those types of questions, then, by all means, do so. If not, write the questions down on a piece of paper. I’d recommend one piece per question. Then, write an essay on the answer. Tell yourself first that you’re going to be completely honest.
Now that you have spent some time honestly addressing your flaws, you should prioritize them by order of most important down to least. Once that’s done, carefully read that list because that’s your road map to feeling better about your life.
- Am I good with money?
- Am I financially stable?
- Do I treat people with respect?
- Do I enjoy my life?
- Do I cause my problems?
- Am I guilty of not doing everything I should?
- Am I capable of more than I have accomplished?
Getting Started
You have to accept changing past practices and habits is a requirement for a better tomorrow. Whether that means tweaking things slightly or a completely life-changing paradigm shift, becoming the better version of yourself means to change. The most successful people in life embrace change when it’s needed. Questioning yourself will help to figure out what you're doing right, and what you're doing wrong. Forgive yourself, because we're all doing something wrong. It's part of being human.
Look at your list of problems, and choose the most important issue to fix. Whatever the issue, a simple analysis will identify issues to fix. Take the example of money. Most people either spend too much, live above their means or don’t make enough. An example of identifying money problems are questions like:
- Where’s my money going? Why am I single? Why Am I not ahead of the game?
- Am I being wasteful or frugal? Am I wasting time? Am I productive?
- Am I managing money? Am I managing my life? Am I managing my health?
- Am I overspending? Do I expect too much? Am I being honest with myself?
Answering the questions in the first line is of the uttermost importance in solving your problems. Understanding the where, when, why, and how of a problem is always step one in solving the issue.
Listing your expenses and your revenue will show you on paper what is coming in and going out. If you feel like you’re struggling with finances, this will point you towards things to do to achieve your financial goals. Where are you being the most wasteful and where are you the most frugal about your spending? Are you managing your money, living within your means? Do you have overspending habits that you need to address?
I once knew a gambler, in the course of a short time, that managed to lose two cars and a home. All this person did was work constantly, play slots and poker, and sleep. At the end of their story, after losing thousands a month, they had to adjust their behaviors and stop being the enemy at the gate.
It’s not hard to become the enemy at the gate. Becoming your own worst enemy can happen to anyone. If life is out of control you can become the biggest obstacle to having a better tomorrow.
Addicts of all kinds are the enemy at the gate. Until the addict accepts that their compulsions, their addiction, or their out-of-control behaviors are holding them back from enjoying peace in their lives, nothing gets better. The first step to solving any problem is accepting there is a problem.
By questioning ourselves we can escape from the things that are chaining us down in the world. If something, likely you, is holding you back then it's up to you to figure it out. As yourself:
- What do I want for my life?
- What am I doing to achieve that reality?
Letting Go
The past haunts us all. Everyone suffers from “bad things” in their past. How we deal with those bad things defines our tomorrow, whether we recognize it or not.
Being forever a victim, living with a victim mentality, makes you the enemy at the gate of your own life. Holding onto things from the past keeps you from living fully in the present.
If you’re not living, you’re not moving forward in the world. The mistakes you’ve made are meant to be life lessons and not anchors that keep you from moving forward. But, it’s harder to let go of some things that happen to us. Relationships that have gone can leave you anchored in the past for an extensive period.
Until we let go of things that haunt us, our hearts and minds are stuck living in an endless yesterday. If you remember the famous Bill Murray movie, Groundhog Day, it doesn’t bode well for anyone to repeatedly relive their yesterday.
Final Thoughts
It is inherent upon us as mature, logical, thinking, creatures to become better by recognizing our flaws and mistakes. This is how we evolve and grow as people. Whether you’re stuck reliving the past pains of lost loves, or feel trapped by finances that are akin to a dumpster fire, only you can take the first steps of change. Once you take the first steps, there are tools that you can find along the way to aid in your journey to a better tomorrow.
The first step in any journey is to take the first step and stop being the enemy at your gate.
About the Creator
Jason Ray Morton
I have always enjoyed writing and exploring new ideas, new beliefs, and the dreams that rattle around inside my head. I have enjoyed the current state of science, human progress, fantasy and existence and write about them when I can.
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