Soul Searching

Have you ever felt like you are missing something in life?

A voice inside of you trying to tell you something?

WELLLLLL. I know that feeling!

I’ve been working in the corporate world for about 10 years now, right out high school, I started interning and I just kept going, worked for a big fast food chain working on there networks and systems, to small and mid size real estate offices designing marketing for realtor (which at the time we had no Instagram or Twitter) to working for Mom and Pop companies that I had no potential to grow within. To now working in the hospitality industry in the most I wouldn’t say difficult, but definitely an interesting role in the hotel . In the span of that lifetime that I have been working, I can honestly say that I have never felt fulfilled. I have never felt like I have made a difference in someone’s life, (If telling someone their refund is going to be back on there card in 5-7 business day is fulfilling, we definitely have to re-think things).

I felt like I needed to spice things up in my life, because sitting in traffic for 3 hours a day and going home and to cook dinner for the family, eat dinner, feed the dog and than take him out and walk him by the time all this happens, HOLY HELL it is 10:30 pm and I have not even thought about myself in the span of that 3 hours that I was getting EVERYTHING done around the house. Now I just roll into bed, turn on some Bob’s Burgers to drown out whatever is going on in the house and I just fall a sleep to turn around and wake up at 5:30 am and do it all again and some mornings I mix it up and wash my hair so I am up even earlier!

I knew I needed something else to help me get away from spending 3+ hours in my car, going to work and not being happy sitting at my desk for 10 hours mindless typing away and telling people that they are going to be receiving their refunds in 5-7 business days or just to be bulled, harassed or badgered by people who don’t respect me and the job that I do. Mental health declining, more stress than needed and less time with my family isn’t what I wanted. I had to dig deeper and took all this anger, pain and all the damn self doubt that I had/have and channel it into taking care of ME and finding what inner ME wants.

I am currently working on a project to help people who are feeling stuck like me, who are always full of anxiety ( I have high functioning anxiety) all the time, who can’t find the light and just need something else, needs an out, someone to understand them and help them and help them get aligned with themselves. I know it is hard to change, but change is usually uncomfortable and take time and a lot of self work, which is what I am tasking my self with.

I think of life as an endless game of basketball game, We are towards the end of the 3rd quarter and we are down by 20 , what am I going to do? Challenge myself not to make the mistakes I made in the first half, rally my team together to play better defense and score better? Well that is the ideal situation. RIGHT?!? – But it never goes that way. Someone always wants to be the DAMN hero and screw it up for the rest of us, or one of the best players on the team fouls out because the refs are blind and called it on the wrong person. Well, my point to all this is, their are outside forces that collectively get together to ruin it, it sucks but that is life. It is an on going game, the turn-overs, the fouls, the missed shots. The greatest basketball players of all time such as Michael Jordan, Lebron James, Sue Bird, Candace Parker, Leslie Leslie to name a few were NEVER great right out of the womb, It took lots of heartache, time, patience and work ethic to be the great at the sport and to themselves.