Some People Are Too Comfortable With Their Speech

When I grew up, my parents insisted that my sisters and I used standard English when we spoke. We were not permitted to utter “ain’t” nor any other type of slang.

Anytime we mispronounced words, my parents corrected us. Since my father was an elementary school teacher, he especially modeled proper word pronunciation when we errored. This is the area of our linguistic development that he led.

We learned that using lewd and profane language was exclusively wrong for us. This is because my mother assumed the role of leading the spiritual development of my sisters and me. In doing so, she correlated the use of non-offensive speech with displaying Christ-like qualities in our lives.

As we matured, my mother and father helped us to differentiate the proper language that we used in public and formal settings with the casual and fun language used at home and among friends as well as relatives.

While my teachers did their part in teaching speech mechanics at school, it was my parents who instilled the importance of maintaining appropriate verbal skills in my life. And the things they taught me about my speech have remained with me all my life. I now teach the lessons that my mother and father taught me to my daughter.

The Lack of Linguistic Values

When I was a school administrator I had several conversations with an employee about their use of very, very poor language in a school environment. I tried to encourage them to stop saying things like “I seen…ain’t…do she…” in the professional setting because their speech was unprofessional. I also discouraged their use of yelling sayings like “hey y’all” when speaking to and interacting with students. I did so because students deserve to hear adults who work in schools use standard English.

Not only was I met with resistance from the professional union, but the school worker defied me as their supervisor by continuing to speak carelessly. Conversations that I had regarding the matter of the use of appropriate language resulted in eye-rolling, sighs, and shocked expressions. I was made to feel as though my audacity to confront this problem was a form of harassment. It became senseless for me to encourage that unprofessional employee to improve their speech because they had grown comfortable using their learned and inappropriate language. That case was shameful…just shameful.

My frustrations about the poor use of language reached a boiling point at the end of my career as a school district-level administrator. As younger administrators were hired and led professional initiatives, their horrible language skills followed them.

They used profanity and slang as they facilitated meetings and training sessions with teachers and administrative colleagues. The use of the “f” word became their standard English as they interacted with everyone, including some parents, within the educational environment. And some top administrators dared to use lewd and suggestive language during their workday, too.

I spoke out against the despicable and unprofessional language that I was subjected to during professional meetings. While another spoke out the condemn the terrible language immediately after I did, the offending employees responded with wide eyes and opened mouths as if I offended them. A few colleagues secretly thanked me for speaking out against the atrocious language we were routinely subjected to. Sadly, my voice had no impact on the crude employees because their foul language continued.

My two authentic examples of the demise of standard English reflect a pervasive problem that is too difficult to quantify. However, I believe there are reasons why this is so.

This Is Why Speech Has Become So Inappropriate

Photo by Marko Sokolovic on Unsplash

I believe that there are many reasons why the use of standard English has become irrelevant for so many people. The list that follows elaborates on this.

1. Celebrities and influencers establish linguistic trends that have an extensive reach in our global society.

Here is one of many examples that exist. While the word “y’all” has historical and colloquial roots embedded within the African American and southern cultures, some celebrities have normalized this word. In recent years, Kelly Clarkson is one of many celebrities who uses this word so much during public appearances and performances that it has become a common word that many have adopted as a part of their vocabulary.

In other cases, famous people create a cycle that encompasses very inappropriate language. For example, some musicians, comedians, and radio, as well as television personalities, are among those who have promoted profanity and lewd language as their artistic mantra. Because such words and phrases have become so widely accepted and popularized among followers, these individuals have embraced this language and speech patterns as their very own.

2. Adopting offensive linguistic patterns is learned behavior.

When children and young people continue to be exposed to crude words and phrases in their homes, communities, and schools, they learn that this type of language is acceptable. If they are exposed to family members and peers who speak poorly and if they are exposed to this while watching television, listening to the radio, and consuming social media content, this will become their frame of reference. If parents and caregivers fail to intervene or reteach more acceptable language, the impacted students will model what they learn. This problem, then, spills into the school where educators are left to either provide positive interventions or deal with the havoc these children create in the learning environment due to their inappropriate language.

3. We currently live in a culture that accepts swearing as normal.

As a whole, our global community has become more relaxed, casual, and informal. The mindset that prevails is that if it feels good, do it and if it sounds good, say it.

The evolution of norms and behaviors has caused this. Some of the following set of examples confirm this reality.

There used to be a time when people wore their finest attire when going to the place of worship, exclusive events as well as outings, and even to work. Now, anything goes with clothing choices in many parts of our society.

I once attended a church where a new pastor was hired. He not only abandoned the formal suit that his predecessor elegantly wore each Sunday, but he dared to wear blue jeans while delivering his sermons. The appearance of this pastor reached an all-time low point for me when he dared to wear dirty, baggy jeans and a wrinkled shirt on Sunday. His appearance on that particular day of worship was so offensive to me that I concluded that he could no longer be the spiritual leader in my life because his carefree dress communicated that he failed to honor the Lord and his position as head pastor. So I left that church. That’s how strongly I felt about the matter.

When I was a principal of a school, I routinely struggled with a couple of female teachers who thought that wearing tight and form-fitting stretch pants with skimpy tops was appropriate attire for school. (And some would even complain to me about students who violated the dress code!) Encounters with building union representatives over my concerns proved futile and teachers simply won the battle by continuing to dress unprofessionally.

Just as the clothing choices many people make reflect their free spirit mantra that prevails, the same holds for their language. This is especially true as it relates to swearing.

The use of the “f” word has become especially prevalent everywhere. It is as though that profane word has become a part of what was formally known as standard English. That word freely and unapologetically flows from the lips of people in all walks of life.

And those who utter this profane word in an uninhibited manner in whatever environment they are in use it with self-assurance because a sense of entitlement has liberated their tongue. Using that word has become their right to free speech.

Disgracefully, when people casually and freely speak profanity wherever they choose to, they demonstrate that they have no regard for the basic principles associated with respect and courtesy. Such ill-manner people are egotistical and smug.

My Final Word: This is What Needs to Happen

I have many strong beliefs about what needs to be done regarding the poor speaking skills that have become pervasive.

Parents play the biggest role in correcting this problem. They must become their child’s first teacher by serving as their positive linguistic role model. Using and demonstrating standard English within their home while avoiding the use of lewd speech in front of children remains a critical function of parenting.

Mastering standard English may be problematic or non-essential in some homes because English is not the primary language spoken in the family. For this reason, as well as those connected to parental shortcomings and limitations, schools must assume a huge responsibility in this area.

All school employees must be required to speak appropriately and professionally. While there is a desire for educators to reach students by using speech patterns, community or popular language, and slang that builds connections with them, these linguistics should never override or be used more powerfully than standard English.

I was disheartened earlier today when I watched a news story. A school district permits college students studying to become teachers to serve as teachers in a classroom with certified teachers. While there is merit to their efforts to resolve the problem of teacher shortages and their work in doing so is commendable, one of the teaching college students was videotaped. As they delivered instruction to a classroom of students they said “do y’all feel me?”

That was disgraceful and disappointing to hear at the same time.

If schools struggle with student assessment data connected to language arts, why is it acceptable for a teacher or teacher in training to use that kind of language around a large group of students? If students, especially those classified as at-risk academically, cannot be exposed to proper language at school, at least most of the time, and during instruction which is a critical time, how will they achieve at higher and competitive levels?

Individuals who are pop-culture leaders, influencers, and celebrities need to model appropriate speech. I realize that this may become contrary to some famous people who build their brand according to catchphrases and sayings. I used Kelly Clarkson and her continuous use of the word “y’all”

as an earlier example. But, I believe that those who are popular should be dedicated to setting and maintaining a linguistic standard. While they use their slang some of the time, I just think that they should model what is appropriate, too.

Perhaps my thinking is old-fashioned and irrelevant. I just believe that there is a robust relationship between the success that parents have in raising successful children and the school’s success in educating successful students. Ultimately, these things are connected to the use of one’s appropriate language throughout the journey of life and their overall success.

I simply think good speaking skills are linked to becoming a functional and contributing citizen in our global society.

Consider your thoughts about the topic of language. If this story helped you to develop a bold opinion about this subject matter, consider sharing this story as well as your perspective on your social media platforms. Also, please consider adding a tip to help fund my work to increase family engagement.

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Thank you.

This story was originally self-published in ILLUMINATED-Curated on Medium.com.