Sex, NSAIDS and Rock n' Roll

A green to life teenager said to me once, "Instagram is for young people. Facebook is where all the old people go". To this day, I still recall that statement. It reads as if the happy platforms, full of crochet hats and funny puppies, is where us "old people" must go to die. Mostly, the very idea makes me smile. Partly, it makes me reflect on myself at that age. Being offended by such "boomer" blows isn't really a reaction I get when I read the musings of the younger generations. After all, I was young once and knew absolutely everything about absolutely everything. If anything, the statement made me reflect on how much things really do change when we get "old". Especially in our current social media driven society. And, despite such a brazen observation by my young counterpart, I happen to make my side hustle money off of the interwebs. So, if you're a young and spirited human being who's reading this, I'm honored. Also, hang on to your smart phones! Aging isn't the death sentence you all think it will be. Here are five things that have gotten better for me as I've aged over roughly four decades. Let's talk about it.

1. I used to give Two Shits. Now, I barely give one.

Through to my mid 30s I worried far too much about first impressions. For me, the very thought of walking into a dollar store without being presentable was the thing nightmares are made of. Even if I was in a hurry, I attempted to at least be somewhat "casual sexy". Small town life really gets you worried about running into someone when you look your absolute worst. Eventually I realized that my time could be better spent. There are more important things than looking like a full glam Madonna just to go buy toilet paper at Dollar General.

Now? You get what you get. Some days I might be out and about looking marginally human. Some days, you might get me in bed slippers and the clothes I wore the day before. My family still has to wipe their ass and I don't have time to worry about it.

Side note on this: It has not impacted my interactions with anyone to date. People still speak to me regardless of my dollar store glam level. And they probably still talk shit, our town has a population of 800 people. There's nothing else to do but talk shit.

2. Traditions and memories mean a lot more to me. I deck all the halls with all the holly.

Most of my childhood memories took place in the 1980s. You know, back when a family photo at your birthday party had your dad in hot pants and knee socks in the background. And mom was usually smoking a cigarette while cutting your cake. Aside from that, life was different. Slower. My parents were great. They were heavily involved in doing their best to make sure we had the best. I don't think that has been lost in today's society. However, I do think the nostalgia of memories being made doing simpler things has been lost. My memories of my family, especially my grandmother, has resulted in me carrying over traditions to my own children.

In this house, we have all of the tacky Holiday decorations. Some of which are actually older than I am. I've become sentimental and appreciative of all of the wonderful trinkets and things that were handed down to me.

3. I am involuntarily "Trendy".

One thing that I feel highlights me as a woman, a person and a fashion statement is that I haven't changed much over the decades. While I've grown and adapted, mostly in a positive direction, I'm basically the same person. That person being a gothish, hillbilly, 1980s aerobic Instructor, straight out of a White Snake music video. The irony of this is that, depending on current trends, I'm either really "in" or really "lame". There is a special kind of inner pride that comes with seeing the younger generations embracing things like high top shoes, combat boots, flannel or leotards. Every time one of "my" decades come back in style, I find it absolutely fascinating to see my oldest sons generation embrace it as if they created it. The same goes for music. They sell Slayer shirts at Walmart now, guys. Nobody had to get a concussion to get it at a concert anymore. You just show up at a mainstream super store with cash in hand. Amazing.

4. I'm too sexy for my shirt, and it hurts.

Sexuality and sex appeal reach an entirely new level. At least, for me that has been the case. Looking back when I was younger, too much enjoyment was wasted on worrying what angles were best for what position. Younger me cared way too much. Present Day, my confidence has sky rocketed. I'm not sure exactly why but I have some ideas. One being that sex becomes about the sex. The moment. Random bathroom counter quickies happen way more often. Mostly because I'm not worried about spending an entire day preparing to have some hot, pre-planned sex later on. Not that I don't love a game of dress up with my husband. The older we get, the busier we get. Calling in from work isn't an option, as we have to save for that retirement fund. And well, my husband and I take it where we can get it. And neither one of us much cares if I have make up or five pounds of bath and body works lotion on. Trust me, it makes for some absolutely exciting situations. And there is something so hot about the rawness and realness of "not pretty" sex. There is also the pleasure factor. It's ok now to worry about yourself. There's absolutely no time in this life for non-orgasmic sex. Us older folks recognize this.

5. The process of reversing all the stupid shit I've done is free therapy.

You think New Year resolutions are tough? Try waking up one morning, both knees pop when you stand up, and realizing all those late nighters, rodeos, (that will be another story time) and falling asleep with your make up on, has slapped you right in the face. Literally. Don't worry, there is a magic in the process of self care after the age of 35. I promise.

Aside from my Yoga practice, which is its own psychiatry and arthritis management, creating routines for self care is meditation. Eventually, most of us replace those long nights with early ones. Standing in the mirror applying our night creams. Remembering to take our probiotics is also absolutely necessary. This may sound like a bummer right now but it actually becomes a source of pride. Just wait until you get your first "I had no idea! I thought you were younger!". It puts a little pep in your step to be "that" woman. Trust me. Also, as cliché as it sounds, aging is a beautiful process. Laugh lines, softer bodies. It's all a part of it. Your partner isn't going to throw you out with the bath water. If they do, that's an entirely different post. Embracing myself as I mature has been amazing. If I'm being honest, a lot of the times I think I look better.

So, if you're reading this and you're in your early 20s, remember to enjoy all of the things right now. But, don't be afraid of the decades to come. It's not scary. Actually, one minute we are young and hip and on Instagram. Then we literally wake up one day and we're old. Drinking coffee and watching 5 minutes crafts on Facebook in our rocking chairs. You won't even see it coming.

Feel free to follow me on Instagram and Influenster @DenaDanzig

Also, check out my Amazon Influencer store front for all the things: https://www.amazon.com/shop/influencer-0b4c4d8a?ref=inf_own_influencer-0b4c4d8a_cp

#aging #humans #retro #lifestyle #life