Reflections

I still haven’t worked on a blog since earlier this month and I haven’t gotten around a lot on posting my writings because I am working on a book with a friend of mine but I watched a video by one of my favorite YouTubers David Hammond about this topic which inspired me to write a topic about this as well.

David references the book “The Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida specifically chapter 29: “Choose a Woman Who Chooses You”. An excerpt from the book:

“If a man wants a woman who doesn’t want him, he cannot win. His neediness will undermine any possible relationship, and his woman will never be able to trust him. A man must determine whether a woman really wants him but is playing hard to get, or whether she really doesn’t want him. If she doesn’t want him, he should immediately cease pursuing her and deal with his pain by himself”

This is a very sobering proverb I wish a lot of people should learn the sooner they start dating. Nowadays, there is no intention when people start dating. It becomes a job interview without the proper vetting. And men, especially young men suffer from this. They chase after women who don’t really want them and that’s no fun pursuing someone who doesn’t even want you. We want to be loved, admired, and pursued. And you know what also bugs me? It’s made out like it's some race to see how soon you can sleep with someone without a proper relationship. Ladies and fellas, relationships TAKE TIME. For a woman to choose you, it takes a long time. Weeks and months before we can really know the person. That’s another thing I dislike strongly about the pickup artist community. Attraction should not be negotiated. But alas, that’s another topic for another time.

As I said, it’s no fun pursuing someone who doesn’t want you. I would say the same if someone pursues you and you don’t want them. If someone told you straight up, they don’t want you. You already lost. And that’s okay. Sometimes it can be transforming and enlightening. You can see it as a chance to work on yourself, whether your attitude, charisma, your physical health, or even your purpose. Or you can see it as that person may not be as good as initially thought and realize that person can cripple you from your potential.

I share exactly as much here as I want for everything I do is on purpose. I always set out to do things differently, from day one, I have given you the authentic, imperfect, always trying, sometimes- chaotic mess that is me and my life. I tell you when I fly and fall. I tell you when I’m on top of the world and when I can’t get out of bed.

My posts aren’t fancy and pretty, I don’t travel the world, and I’m not this extraordinary, interesting being. I’m queer and fiery and fight my own mind on a daily, but I will always present myself authentically.

Thank you to those who SEE me. Thank you for giving me a space to be real. I love you.

Catherine .