A few days ago, I was having a conversation with one of my friends about how unpredictable and unfair life can be.
It all started when she send me this quote:
“Cast aside any predictions or assumptions that you have about life — what you think is going to happen never does.”
Basically, we were discussing how there’s no way to stop life from unfolding the way it does and the many uncomfortable and weird circumstances we find ourselves in.
In the end, we were left with this question: how can one lead a happy life, knowing that life itself never works the way we expect it to?
The answer is one simple, tiny, yet powerful word: acceptance.
When you learn to accept things as they are, you eventually manage to work around life and find the right pathways that can allow you not only to lead a calm, happy life but to thrive.
The first step towards that is accepting these five uncomfortable truths about life.
1. Happiness Is Where You Are Now or Nowhere at All
Here’s how most people think nowadays:
“When I finally have *insert one thing* or when *insert another thing* is finally over, I can finally be happy.”
You might think that when you finally have an expensive car, the home of your dreams, or a higher salary you will be happy.
Or, maybe true happiness will come when your divorce, your busy schedule or any other difficulty you are encountering at the moment, is over.
Well, that’s not how happiness works.
If you don’t learn to appreciate every little thing you have at the moment, if you always wish to do more, to do better you’ll never be happy.
Because money, things, and even people can’t make you happy. Real happiness comes from within.
2. Quitting Is for Winners
This might be an unpopular opinion because most people unfortunately think that quitting is for weak people.
Let me tell you that’s far from the truth. In fact, quitting is for people who are:
- Exceptionally strong
- Admirably courageous
- Brutally honest with themselves
Let me explain.
Sometimes in life, we find ourselves in tricky and difficult situations that are impossible to fix. For example, being stuck in a shitty work environment where people take advantage of you or in a toxic relationship that drains you both physically and emotionally.
Knowing when it’s time to quit, change direction, leave a toxic situation, or simply give up on something that isn’t working is a powerful skill that all successful people seem to have.
And in order to master this skill, you need to be brutally honest with yourself and have a lot of strength and courage.
Overall, quitting is for the winners.
3. You Need to Call Yourself Out on Your Actions Every Now and Then
“Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them.” — Bruce Lee
One of the main reasons people struggle to go forward in life is their inability to move beyond their ego and take responsibility for their mistakes.
In life, it is important that you call yourself out on your actions every now and then. That means owning your mistakes and taking responsibility for them.
I was always complaining about my broken relationship with my father and how he never understood me. At some point, I realized that I was making a lot of mistakes too: I wasn't patient with him; I refused to listen; I refused to get into his shoes and try to understand his mindset.
Once I realized all of this and changed my behavior, things between us immediately started to get better.
We’re all human. We’re all bound to make multiple mistakes throughout our lives, from small ones to giant ones. And it’s okay.
Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before and life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from the worst mistakes.
But, denying your mistakes and accusing others of your failures?
That won’t get you anywhere. If you want to be successful and build a healthy relationship with the people around you and with your inner self, you need to be able to call yourself out on your actions every now and then.
4. You Can’t Fix Damaged People
At one point in my life, when I was younger, I used to be attracted to damaged people. I also wanted to become a psychologist in high school. See the connection?
I wanted to fix people, to help them right their wrongs. You know, to turn the beast into the prince he once was.
But that’s not how real life works. You can’t fix damaged people. The more you try, the more time and energy you lose, the more trouble you invite into your life.
It doesn’t matter what their damage is--traumas from past relationships or the death of a loved one, drugs, low-self esteem-- it’s up to their hand to fix themselves.
5. You’ll Rarely Find People Who Share Your Views and Values
What do we all want to find in life, huh? People with whom we have a similar mindset, share our views and values; people we can share our lives with.
Yet, an uncomfortable and somewhat sad truth about life is that is it quite rare and extremely difficult to find people that fit you.
Why? Well, we all come from different backgrounds, were raised in different environments under different circumstances, and have been shaped by different experiences.
As you can see, there’s a lot of “different” going around.
When you do find a person you have a genuine connection with, who shares your views, values, and worldview, hold them tight. Never let them go.
6. Life Will Never Be Fair
I bet all of you have met at one point or another someone whose life seemed to be perfect with zero effort from their side.
You know, some people just have it all from the moment they are born: great looks, wealth, status, a perfect job waiting for them.
How meeting them made you feel?
Because if you ask me, it felt awful.
Seeing someone who hasn’t worked a single day in their life have thousands of dollars on their bank account or a person who lacks the skills and knowledge land the job of your dreams just because they “knew the right people”, sucks.
But, truth be told, life isn’t fair. Never was. Never will be. Every moment that you spend complaining about life’s unfairness is a moment you’re spending emotional energy that leads nowhere.
Life is life. Good things happen. Bad things happen. It can be ugly and painful. But it can also be exceptionally beautiful. There are always great things waiting for you in the future.
On a Final Note
Life isn’t always easy, but it’s all we’ve got. And you can make the best of it, as long as you accept the uncomfortable parts about it.
Remember: uncomfortable truths are a catalyst for change, growth, and success. We’ve got to learn to embrace them.
If you shut yourself away from the world, you’ll never see how beautiful it really is. And, in Germany Kent’s words:
“Don’t settle for living mediocre. Focus on all the positive and embrace it. Ignore the negative and be thankful for every single day.”