Purple Kindness Make The World Go Round

Purple Kindness

I didn’t think I had done anything that warranted being ghosted. Until I realized I was the one who ghosted the kindest people I have ever met. “What’s wrong with me?” I thought to myself. Why in the world would I be so shy to hide away indoors and shut the world out. It was draining my will to go on, straining my body with the aches and pains of cabin fever. You may think I am talking about during the pandemic. You would be wrong. It was before. Maybe a few years have gone by. I’m not entirely sure. I did have some contact with locals in my area last summer. But every winter, I am in a world of my own, inside shut down in the off position. Rather than mustering on the unhappiness I create in my own life by complaining.

Still, it would have been easier if people were less judgmental; nevertheless, they are. And for that reason, I was ostracized, discarded, and locked up inside.

Muzzled

No, I wasn’t in jail, but I would probably instead have been. At least there is no mould in prison or asbestos. The country farmhouse I occupy is less than healthy despite endless efforts of cleaning. No matter the cheap fix-ups. It just isn’t well ventilated. This can cause stress for a person as breathing fresh air is essential. So in the bits of sunny sky, I peek outside now and then and mutter around in the yard. Disappointing as it sounds, every year, our acreage is swarmed by one insect or another, such as giant mean wasps, hornets, red ants, mosquitoes and other unwanted pests. It makes going outdoors less relaxing.

I told you this for a reason. I use to travel the world until I realized the world is a terrifying place. And bad things happen to good people, and vice versa. Anything is possible; therefore, I decided to retreat to the interior walls of my imaginary fortress.

I have neighbours. Yet a walk away, it’s a walk I do not take. Thusly over the last few years or so, I have grown distant.

A long time ago, my neighbour and I were in a state of invisible friendship. We both loved each other very much. She was like a grandmother to me. One I didn’t have growing up. She meant the world to me. I loved our little visits; I always daydreamed of baking with her, and sewing with her or doing crafts. But it wasn’t meant to be. Too many people scrutinized our friendship. And to put the cherry on the cake, unbeknownst to me, this woman’s family took issue with me.

Me being so introverted, took this very seriously. My housemate advised I shouldn’t communicate with them as not to cause any further stress upon them. It was okay, I agreed. They are such kind people; they deserve my respect. How could I cause them any grief? That would be unusually cruel. So to not offend anyone, I kept my distance. Fearful of even looking out the window.

I suffer from anxiety. Some of what I described you might be able to relate to you or, to the contrary, you would find insane. Either way, the kindness in her and the kindness in me is attracted to each other.

I felt something tugging at me to do something nice for her despite not talking in what feels like forever. So I put together some homemade creams and foot scrubs. Being that I’m a crafty person by nature. I went and got a pretty purple box. (Her favourite colour) and of course, I put a beautiful purple amethyst in the box. I was in great hope that she would like it, eagerly sending my son over to deliver the box.

Nothing much was said other than a polite thank you. I just hoped she liked it and left it at that.

My entire existence has been made up of trying to please people. That alone has caused me much dismay. Although I did take several turns in life, I always believe that kindness and intelligence are the most attractive qualities a person could have.

Weeks maybe passed till a text message came through for my housemate to send my son out to the gate. He was met by a vast, beautifully fragrant, freshly cut bouquet of purple lilacs. She inquisitively inquired about me. Later in the evening, I texted her thank you. And, of course, she welcomed me to come over.

Purple Kindness

Her kindness shows me what I am thought about. But I had to show her I cared first—an acknowledgement of respect and love. To me, it was something that pleased me—the gifting of a parcel filled with purple love.

Little does this woman know she not only inspires me every day to be kind, but she also reminds me that if nothing else, if I had nothing and nobody, I would always have her invisible love and hugs. I may not go back. I haven't decided if I have the courage. I know I should, but I was strongly advised against it.

The story doesn't start or end at the beginning of this story because this is the circle of kindness. This isn’t the first time we have gone long periods without communicating. Nonetheless, she always shares this back and forth way of telling each other we are still there thinking about each other, in the backs of our minds. And somehow, her invisible purple love for me is unconditional and from the place in a person, deep inside. She is the most welcoming, caring, huggable person.

It’s because people like that; when we are lost in the darkness, they shine a little light into your world and bring joy upon us—producing motivation, inspiration, gratitude, love, and warmth.

Thank you to all the people that are kind to strangers, neighbours, family and friends. Purple kindness makes the world go round.

Opal