Please, Believe in You

The human body is capable of a lot. The mind is also capable of a lot. No matter who you are or what you do, I personally don’t think you will ever learn exactly how capable you are. There is just too much, too many possibilities. I was told once you can do and be anything you want. But you can’t do and be everything. This is fantastic, because it means you can pick anything and put everything you have into becoming the best you can be at that one thing! At the same time, there is so much you can do, and finding that one thing or two or three things is difficult.

When you develop a passion for something, you feel content dedicating your time to that, even if you have important things you need to do. You can easily make a priority of that thing because of how you feel about it. How you feel, that plays a huge part. Passion is a mixture of emotions, and you don’t get a say in what your passions are or how strong they are, which again is a reason why it is so hard to find that thing you are passionate about to dedicate yourself to. There isn’t anything wrong with that. It doesn’t matter how long you take finding your way, or what you end up doing. Others will discourage that statement, as they find that striving to be successful in a high paid job is something you should aim for. I say bollocks to that. If you don’t feel passionate about doing that job or what people say you should do, don’t do it. Life is too short to do what other people tell you to do instead of what you love or at least enjoy. But when should we think logically over emotionally?

When we feel good about something or right about what we are doing, it is great. You go about your day content with your progress and where you see yourself heading. Roughly speaking. When things aren’t going our way, when we wake up not knowing what we are doing with the day or with our life, when we are just putting one foot in front of the other for the sake of getting on with it, or working that job just because bills need to be paid, the emotions there usually aren’t all that great. We have good days and bad days like everyone, but on the bad days, we can’t see direction. You know you have to do that shift at work so you can have that paycheck to pay that bill. Or you have to fill in whatever job application you can find to try and start making a direction. When it is like that, there isn’t something immediate that pulls you out of that slump. You feel limited because you only feel you can do so much, that you are capable of a very finite amount.

The dream of being in a better place or just in a better position is only a dream because you don’t know what you could do to get yourself there. You don’t know what you love doing that you can do for a career to get you to that level of success in the foreseeable future, right? That isn’t the same for everyone of course, and success looks different to everyone. Not everyone is aiming to be extremely wealthy, or extremely fit, or the best at a certain job or task or whatever. What does your success look like? Does is have a specific end or is it on going?

When you are in a position where you don’t know what you are capable of, this, to me, is where you should start looking at things logically. Negative emotion confines you. “Oh I can’t do this because I have never done it before. This job isn’t something I can do because I have no experience. I don’t know what I like. I don’t know what I can do, who would even accept me, where do I start? What if I don’t like it.” All these points, questions, feelings and fears are caused by the uncertainty of the unknown. You don’t know if you will be good, because you’ve never tried. If it is your first time doing it, or you are just starting out, what if you’re rubbish? Well… you probably are. Everyone is bad or at least not very good when they first try.

Take a YouTuber for example. The brilliant ones, they weren’t always that good! Their first videos were bad quality, poorly made, not very entertaining and some/most probably very cringeworthy. Just because their first video, first 10 videos, 100, weren’t the quality they are today doesn’t mean they shouldn’t do it. It is how you learn! How you grow. The first steps usually push you right out of your comfort zone. Of course it would! Would you rather start a project or a job in something you have done before and know what you are doing and know you can execute it well? Most likely. Stepping out of your comfort zone means doing something you’ve never done, and learning from your experience until you become confident that you can do it. This is why logic at this stage is important. Your emotions will tell you to stay where it is “safe,” where you are comfortable, even if you don’t like your situation. You’ve got to tell yourself that, yeah you might suck at the start. But that’s perfectly okay! You will learn how to be better. And other people will help you along the way because they have been through similar things!

When you run a race, before you even leave the start line, you don’t know who will win, you don’t know if you are the fastest, and you don’t know much other than where you are and where you need to be. You only know when you start running and you cross the finish line. You come in first? Great, you have won the race, good job. You came second, third, last, didn’t even finish? Great! You know where you are in terms of skill and how much you need to improve. You can run 10 races and not win a single one, but each one will tell you how good you are and what you need to do to improve. Train harder. Train longer, get someone to help you to improve, diet better, there is so much. You are never truly defeated until you quit. But that isn’t always bad either; maybe it turns out you are better at swimming than running, so you swim instead. But the whole process starts again, and it’s the same thing! You get a new job, you don’t know how well you will do until you do it. And if you still don’t like it or don’t feel like it is for you, you can do something else. But just because you can’t do something, doesn’t mean you are not good enough. You need to train harder to win that race, but you prefer to spend more time playing basketball? It doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough at running, it just means you prefer doing something else.

So logically, I believe you can do almost anything, and in this day, almost anyone can do anything. Tell someone 50 years ago who has no legs they could run a race, they wouldn’t believe you, because they couldn’t. Now we have the Paralympics. Things are becoming more and more possible. Not easier; life is still hard, and trying new things is still hard. But there are more possibilities.

What about emotionally? When should you listen to that over reason? The first thing that jumps to mind is when you are doing something you strongly dislike, aside from chores. If you are doing something and your emotions are saying, "I do not like this," then maybe you should listen and stop. This isn’t always possible. I am not speaking in broad general terms, I am thinking more specifically about jobs. If you don’t like your job, go do something else. “Oh but I don’t know what I can do, yeah but I need the money, I can’t do that, that’s not a safe option, excuse this excuse that.” I don’t care, if it was simple and easy to do whatever you want, the world would be a very different place. It isn’t always easy. It won’t always be safe. You think it is a risk to drop your job with your income to try and pursue something that actually makes you happy? Damn right it’s a risk! Yes you should be nervous or scared. But you should be more scared of staying in the same place, making yourself more and more unhappy, never knowing if it will change, because it won’t change unless you do. “All my friends and family say I should stay in my job, or get a better job, not do this, do that, stay safe, don’t go chasing dreams,” yeah, well then, maybe you should change who you talk and listen to.

You have to do it for you. Only you live your life; other people live theirs. You have to believe in yourself because others may or may not. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t have to know what you love and pursue that, because these things take time to figure out! But realise that the human mind and body is capable of so much. Which means you are too. Regardless of who you are, your education, your physique, your current situation, your past situation, you are so so capable. Prove it to yourself! Find one thing you have never done before and set a goal to do it. It doesn’t have to be big. It could be doing two keep ups with a football. Just two. It could be writing a story. Talking to a stranger, joining a Facebook community, driving a car, riding a bike, walking for a mile, reading a book, even if it’s a children's book. Do something new and prove to yourself that you are capable. Give yourself time, because all great things take time. And they are not easy. I believe in you, so please believe in yourself.