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College life

By Yoselin Vicente PelicoPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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Wouldn’t it be great to do everything as you planned, as you imagined it, thinking that you were prepared for it all? That you could conquer the world, and no one would dare challenge you, because you were so ready, so determined to accomplish your dreams. That what we thought when we got to high school. Wendy and I had been friends for a long as we could remember, when we entered school we thought we’d go to college together, we even looked the universities together and looked to see what program we could enroll to go together, that did happen I moved to different city, did something completely different, graduated with my associates and came home to finish school with her. One year in and it is not going as planned, I am failing, falling behind, I do not have enough to graduate on time.

So, I did not finish with her, my best friend. We were supposed to graduate together, finish together. But instead here I am still fighting, still trying. I feel like I’ve failed us, not just me but her as well, seeing her in her cap and gown as I take her senior pictures she tells me, we were supposed to take them together and I can’t help but feel guilty. I came home to finish school together so we could walk together just like we have before.

We did everything together, we went to elementary, middle, and high school together, we played the same sports, we did and finished, except for this. She stayed at one school and finished, this is school number 3 for me, I failed classes, retook classes, and it just made me want to quit, but even when it was apparent that I wasn’t going to graduate with her, she still kept cheering me on, and so I do. And here I am still fighting, while she now gets to go out and start her life. I want to be done, to start my life, I want to get married, find my dream job, I want to us to make it together. I don’t want to hold this envy in my heart, because she doesn’t deserve it, she deserves my full support and happiness, and until I finish, I feel like I can’t give it to her. But one day I will be able to, but I will always be proud of her, she did it, even though it was hard and brutal she did it. And I will take my time tot get to the finish line, I see now that I was pushing too hard, trying too hard to be done, taking on too much and not being able to fully give it my all. Now I have taken a step back and I am doing it slowly, carefully.

And I’m starting to see now that it's ok that I’m not on track I guess, when you’re out here in the real world there is no on track anymore, at what age you finish school, at what age your find your significant other, at what age you marry should you choose to. When to have kids how many, the real world doesn’t set goals for you, and I’m learning that everyone is different and that I should judge my success by others, that even though I’m envious that my friend has graduated college and is moving forward in life, that I’m not a failure, I didn’t fail, I’m just doing me, going at my own pace and that’s ok. There is nothing wrong with that. Always go at your own pace, because then you will feel comfortable with what your doing. And you will be able to do it at your best.

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About the Creator

Yoselin Vicente Pelico

Hello, I’m Yoselin just 23 year old living in Colorado trying to balance school, life, and my health.

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