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Mind, Body, and So

An inspiration that is Spiritual So

By Tariq DoolinPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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Spiritual So

Different is a curse given only to those who are meant to bring about change on this planet, however, it is up to them to accept it. It is not a task for the faint of heart to challenge the social norms in which we allow ourselves to be imprisoned. Sadly, this is a statement that is amplified amongst people of color. Javontay Baynes, otherwise known as Spiritual So is a living example of this concept. Even so, he challenged me to carve my own path rather than follow one that is already paved. Such inspiration is hard to come by in the black community.

It goes without saying that in the black community you are forced to conform to a stigma that we consider “acting black”. This mindset is destructive in that of itself. This stigma is rooted in the idea that all people of color must walk, talk, and act alike without any room for expansion. While most fall into this category easily, or whether pretend to, this small mindset doesn't leave a lot of room for diversity. If we all were to fall into this idea we would suppress the very thing that makes us variant, our creative minds. In a nutshell, it pains to be unique in an environment that won't allow for deviation.

Spiritual So and I were fortunate enough to come from the same background that is Detroit Michigan. The vast majority of the young demographic are carbon copies of this branding. Everyone isn’t fortunate or brave enough to escape the scene and expose themselves to new experiences. Many have the opportunity, but choose not to diverge. Baynes has not only accomplished this, but also documented his transformation of character, while touching the minds of similar individuals. However, many may not view this experience as such.

Spiritual So originally started his Youtube journey under the name Solluminati. Ultimately he got all of the views he could ask for but still couldn't find satisfaction. He discovered the ugly truth that it’s unrewarding to live for other people. Rather than continuing with a fake internet persona, he started another channel where he chose to be his authentic self and urged others to do the same, challenging the entire idea of conformity.

So’s Youtube channels are a live documentation of the battle of what it is to be “black” vs. the person he wants to be. What people fail to realize is that this idea of “acting black” is completely rooted in ego. Ego is the set of behaviors that you subconsciously deem necessary for your own survival. When referring to this term, black is interchangeable with the term egotistic or egotistical. In contrast when they say “Why you acting white?”, they simply mean why are you acting deviant to the “black” standard or in other words free spirited. These beliefs limit your life to only what the vast majority of people of color experience and nothing more.

To be from Detroit is to be unwillfully thrown into the concrete jungle that is the social norm. Most black parents would much sooner believe that their son is the .03% that goes professional, rather than nurture creative talents that aren’t sports. Sports is the only universal language amongst people in the community. Unfortunately, I was lucky enough to be asthmatic and unathletic. I didn’t even want to be popular. I just wanted to be liked enough to where I wasn't such an easy target. Or at the very least where it wasn’t such an emphasis on how different I honestly knew better than trying to impress people I didn’t like. It still didn’t stop me from feeling alone in a crowded room. I got lost in who I thought I was supposed to be. Honestly I felt like they would’ve liked me if I had a fair chance. I wouldn’t regain my confidence or sense of who I was for years after this.

I stumbled across Spiritual So’s channel purely by chance. Because all the cool kids love conspiracy theories, right? However, there was an element to his channel that was just so relatable, that I still can’t seem to construe. Possibly because the first video I saw of his was called “Why you have 0 friends and don’t fit in”. It felt so genuine and personal to me that he was airing his dirty laundry on social media. It wasn’t comparable to any reality show, this wasn’t daddy issues or petty beefs. This was someone pulling apart the ever so flawed social construct.

If i never would have found his channel I don’t know if i ever would have found my own confidence. I probably would still be struggling to fit the star into the square cut-out, so to speak. I came to the realization as heavy as heavy as it may feel, it was never a curse to be different. I never needed anybody’s approval but my own. I’m still solo most of the time, but honestly I’m ok with that. I guess you can say I'm alone but not lonely, as So would say. If i could go back and change one thing it would be to come to this realization much sooner. In a way it's safe to say So liberated me in a way.

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Tariq Doolin

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