Mayonnaise Contains This Life Lesson

So, I’m in my bed covered in mayonnaise.

Hold up... you’re saying that’s weird?

It’s not. It’s incredibly insightful. It is; just read.

So then how, you might ask, did I arrive in such a bizarre circumstance?

I had been out all day, very busy with work, gym, and various other things—but I had yet to eat! I was starving!

After arriving home, finally I was able to end my hunger, and I’d decided on chicken burgers with some delicious mayonnaise!

In my low-blood-sugar-rage, I scoffed these bad boys down in literal record time—it was great. After around 30 minutes, I realise there’s a slimy feeling on my arm and stomach. It was mayo!

It got me thinking. First, my clumsiness was something I’d never grow out of. Second, I wondered, could there be a lesson in this?

There was, and an important one at that.

So, why is mayonnaise smeared all over my body important? Why is it a lesson to be received with grace and humility? It's because of what the mayonnaise represents.

The whole situation was mildly amusing, but it led to an epiphany of sorts.

My desire for food had overpowered my sense of self-awareness. I was such a dribbling mess for chicken, I couldn’t see the collateral clumsiness occurring elsewhere on my person!

I, therefore, had come to conclude that when we desire things, we’re simply more likely to find the version of ourself covered in metaphorical mayonnaise running the show, potentially ruining our situation. It’s obvious when you think about it.

If we look at the examples in the world of dating and relationships, I’ve seen this a number of times in life. I've experienced it, too.

There will probably come a time in your life when another human is surprisingly capable of persuading your heart to beat so fast, it’d be reasonable for it to explode? And then, naturally, provided we’re single, we pursue that someone in some way or another. Makes sense, right?

There’s nothing wrong with that, but here’s where the lesson applies. We have to watch our energy on the approach.

Typically, I like to wait two to three months, and completely miss my chance before I act. It's super effective... not.

In all seriousness though, they become my metaphorical burger, my desire, and at this time, my perception shrinks so much that my whole word revolves around someone I barely know. Ridiculous!

In almost all occasions of this nature, the person of my desire... well, they don’t feel the same way.

There are potentially several reasons for this, and realistically, most are not my fault. However, regardless, my headspace of "want" was not going to be of any help. They’re not meeting me when I’m my highest self; they’re seeing the version of me that gets himself covered in mayonnaise. Or, for another analogy, they’re seeing me show up like a dog that wants a bone, shaking with excitement, who would do anything for the treat. But, therein lies the problem.

That "someone of your desire" is more than likely going to be slightly repelled by this kind of behaviour, because you’re not a dog, nor are they all aware how delicious you are yet. Whether it’s pursuing a relationship partner, or a job offer—this still works.

In this metaphor, of course, I’m saying that our behaviour changes. We can become semi-obsessed, which isn’t healthy in this situation, and that that mindset with corresponding behaviour serves only to repel, not attract.

In basic terms, our usual behaviour—which MIGHT have been the cool, calm, and confident desirable person we are—is showing up as a needy doofus, because we were blinded by our desire.

When we desire something, we’re in the mindset of lacking—"I don’t have this, and I want it." This first part seems to dictate our behaviour. We act out of desire, which only serves to compound our lack of that which we covet in the first place. A state of lack is not the mindset we want to be in when we wish to attract people, or situations, into our lives.

I’ll share an example from my life, and change some details to avoid revealing my true identity; I don’t want the city in danger after all...

So, I’m at a group interview for a new job at the local library. I was paired with a girl for the day, and we got along really great! We laughed, we talked, and I found her to be eye-wateringly cute!

I was smitten.

Unfortunately, I had literally just lost a relationship, and my confidence was shot to pieces. So, instead of asking her out, I hesitated—and that carried on for the first four weeks of us working together.

The longer I waited—the longer I hesitated to just ask—the more my desire grew. That dribbling mess reappeared, and the behaviour became just pathetic, really.

I would ask friends to drop hints and observe her, and I would chat with her for signs of interest. I know, I know. It was pathetic and weird, but hey. I’m just being honest. I would construe any move she made near me to be a signal of romantic interest—I think some of us have been there before—but I wasn’t speaking my truth to her. I wasn’t calm and confident. I wasn’t me, I was hungry me.

I was needy and insecure, whether she liked me or not. I wasn’t sure if she did. She could have, but it wouldn’t have mattered, as my mindset, energy, and vibration were all wrong.

I was so overcome by my desire for her, I forgot who I was. I placed her on a pedestal, leaving me in the position of Side Character B, and her in the main role... of my damn movie!

Neediness is the biggest killer of attraction, and not just in relationships. Any time our desire overpowers our good senses, we should take a step back, and reassess.

If I would have asked her out the moment I knew I liked her, things may have turned out differently.

I’ve heard that "anytime you’re chasing someone, it means they’re running."

The truth is that all the emotions we will ever feel are created within us. Sure, some people evoke them more than others, and it’s very exciting. But if I had realised I didn’t need her to be happy, then she would have been on my level (in my mind), and the fear and intimidation factor would have been so much less! As such, she might have met the real me—and he could have had a shot.

Neediness and fear repel. Confidence and internal happiness, in the face of difficult external situations, is attractive. It’s tough to express this in vulnerable situations, I know. But you have to try!

Case in point, I consistently find that more people want me, in all situations, WHEN I WANT MYSELF, AND SHOW IT. When I’m unavailable and happy in my own world, people want in! When I’m available and unhappy, no one "wants" me. It’s not necessarily me that they don’t want. More so, it’s the energy I put out.

It’s not the situation that matters, it’s how I feel within that set of circumstances.

I’ve written a lot here about interactions within romantic relationships, but this kind of thinking applies to all kinds of things involving our interactions with people—interviews, career meetings, etc.

If I had calmed my ass down before consuming my burger, I would have enjoyed it no less, but would not be covered in shame—I mean mayonnaise. Get your head out of the gutter.

It’s worth considering in your own lives, and ideally, every time you find yourself in a state of desire or neediness. You’ll picture me covered in mayo, and save yourself!

As always, thanks for reading. I hope this article has provided some... food... for thought. Hehe.

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