"Mary-oke"

Question:

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you felt like if it didn't come true, you would completely lose yourself? I have...

My something was the 2011 WE Fest Karaoke Contest in Northern Minnesota. Before you go thinking I'm a "dramatic, nerdy, karaoke girl", (there will be more time for that, trust me), I just want to let you know that the top 3 winners of this contest were given more than just a ribbon and a free pitcher of beer. Instead, the winners were given the opportunity to open for Rascal Flatts, Sugarland, and Brad Paisley at this well known Minnesota Country Festival, along with over 20k in prize money and VIP packages. Here is what happened...

The WE Fest Karaoke Contest schedule looked like this:

• 9:00 a.m. : Welcome singers!
• 10:00 a.m. : First singer takes the stage
• 12:12 p.m. : I take the stage, and sing Faith Hill, "When the lights go down" (video below)

• 12:30 p.m. : Lunch break
• 4:32 p.m. : Last singer takes the stage
• 6:00 p.m. : Judges announce the winners...

1st place goes to- WHO?!!!

2nd place goes to- HIM?!!!

3rd place goes to- HER?!!!

4th place goes to- Mary Driver (me)

I started to get sick to my stomach, and flush across my face. Why did everyone in the audience tell me it moved them to tears? Why did some of the judges say it was one of the best performances of the night, and I sang it with such emotion? Why did the DJ say it was the most powerful Karaoke rendition of Faith Hill they've ever heard? This was the 2nd year in a row that I was 4th place in this contest. I felt robbed and cheated. I had to walk up on the stage and show everyone my best fake smile while I threw the biggest pity party inside. I was like a child having a temper tantrum because they didn't get their way. Crushed.

Although I felt like a sore loser, I was truly happy for the winners, and congratulated their bravery and victory. I also reminded myself that it was natural to feel these feelings, and to sit in them, because I poured my absolute heart and my soul into this song. I think the reason I was so upset was because...

...THIS FELT LIKE A PERSONAL ATTACK

The beautiful thing about time and reflection, though, is I realize now - while looking back - that it wasn't a personal attack at all, but a chance for me to completely change the direction of my dreams, and follow my true passions. After all, how could it be a personal attack when it wasn't even MY songwriting, or MY instrumentals in the background. I was literally singing Faith Hill's song...pouring my absolute heart and soul into a song that SOMEONE ELSE WROTE AND SANG FIRST! This wasn't personal because it wasn't MY original music! That being said, before I get into where I am now, I first want to talk about how I got to where I was then, on that Saturday in June, 2011, at the WE Fest Karaoke Contest.

When I was a little girl I always loved to sing and act; I was not shy. I would make up songs and sing with my sister and perform in our living room for our parents. Don't hate on this fashion game!

My parents, teachers and friends repeatedly told me that I had a good voice, was creative, and had powerful stage presence, which built my confidence quickly, and I soon began to direct and focus all of my energy towards improvisation and music. I wrote jingles non-stop, and writing songs felt effortless. I had an ear for music.

I was in plays and musicals, and was in the school band when I was in middle school, (I played the clarinet like every other middle school girl - sorry, not sorry, for the generalization), but my self-proclaimed "big break" came when I started to sing Karaoke in my early twenties after moving North from Minneapolis, MN to Duluth, MN. Let me just tell you one thing about Duluth, MN...

THE KARAOKE CIRCUIT AIN'T NO JOKE UP IN D-TOWN!

I quickly rose to the top of the intense sub-culture of Karaoke performers, winning contests and PRIZES like these:

$500.00 1st place prize

Free tickets to WE Fest

Two free flights to anywhere in the U.S.A

Opened for "Hairball", a cover/tribute band that tours the nation

VIP "skip-the-line" try-outs for "The Voice"

VIP tickets to the Duluth Bay-front Blues Festival

Out of all of the wins, I think my favorite part of singing Karaoke was when I got the nickname: "Mary-oke"...um, i'll take it! I loved being involved in this community of amazing singers, and I loved supporting others, being supported, digging for the right songs, practicing, and building each other up. We were a team, and we competed against each other all of the time. These Karaoke singers and DJs were some of the nicest, most talented, dedicated, passionate people I have ever met.

WE WERE LIKE ONE BIG HAPPY KARAOKE FAMILY - PROVIDING FEEDBACK, CELEBRATING THE WINS, AND LEARNING FROM THE LOSSES

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Fast forward to that Saturday in June, 2011, as this keeps repeating over and over in my head:

"4th place goes to- Mary Driver" "4th place goes to- Mary Driver" "4th place goes to- Mary Driver" "4th place goes to- Mary Driver" "4th place goes to- Mary Driver" "4th place goes to- Mary Driver" "4th place goes to- Mary Driver" "4th place goes to- Mary Driver"

I wanted to cover my ears and yell, "Mommy, make it stop!", but this wasn't some weird horror movie...or was it? 'Cuz it sure as hell felt like it, until...my Karaoke family came up to me afterwards. They hugged me, and kept saying sweet, encouraging words to me. Seriously, what would I have done without them at that moment?

**QUICK SHOUT OUT** thanks for bringin' me back to earth, ya'll! (you know who you are)

After the contest ended, and "the lights went down", I had the opportunity to take time to think, to take time to reflect, and to take time to make a huge decision that changed the entire direction of my life forever. Shocking to a lot of people, (myself included), was my final decision to hang up my hat on the Karaoke Contest scene for good. Surprisingly, this empowered me.

I WAS READY FOR THE NEXT STAGE OF MY LIFE --- WRITING, PLAYING AND PERFORMING MY OWN ORIGINAL MUSIC

Update on where I am now, in 2021. I have been writing music for several years, and in the past 10 years following my last contest, I have been singing and recording on platforms like TikTok and YouTube, and had a season of time where I was singing in a band. I also completely "nerd out" and sing original jingles for my Guinea Pigs, but my next goal is to bring this music to life. I am currently working at a Non-Profit helping the homeless, and saving up for a Keyboard Piano to compose my original music like some of my favorites: Bob Seger and Zakk Wylde.

The transition between "Mary-oke" and "Mary-the-original-musician/songwriter" has been eye-opening and refreshing. I feel my creative freedom exploding, (in a good way). I am no longer tied to someone else's songs and lyrics. I wouldn't be where I am now without losing that WE Fest Karaoke Contest, and if I could do it all over, I wouldn't change a thing. My once perceived personal attack was actually a stepping stone for my personal growth.

AND...THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS HOW LOSING A KARAOKE CONTEST WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME!!!

P.S. Follow your passions...

...and support your local Karaoke DJs & musicians!

Mary Driver

2021