Lucky as a Penny

The banker looked up from the pile of bags at my feet. His spectacles hung at the edge of his nose allowing his bewildered and suspicious eyes to pierce me.

“You want to bank this?” He gestured to the bags.

“Yes.”

“What’s in them?”

“Pennies”

“Pennies?” It was less of a question and more of a consideration. He let the word play in his mouth for a moment. “How did you come about so many pennies?”

“Found them.”

“One does not just find 10 garbage bags full of pennies.”

He was right. They don’t, and I was beginning to see why he was looking at me in both concern and suspicion.

“I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you how.”

“Try me.”

…

Well, being a 20-something year old in the USA is hard enough, but being a broke student is a whole other ball game. I was at least $15,000 behind in loan payments, one month behind in rent and my car is long overdue for repairs.

“What I could give to just have $20,000 right now, universe.” I didn’t speak to higher powers often, but as I sat sipping my whiskey on my poor excuse for a balcony under a full moon, I saw a shooting star, and I figured it couldn’t hurt. I am not the superstitious type, but I will take any chance I can get to test it.

I didn’t think much of my wish and went about my night. It wasn’t until the next day that it began.

Day 1:

I looked down at the glinting object in the parking lot. A penny.

“Not quite $20,000 but I guess its something.” I muttered as I placed it in my pocket. I chuckled at the idea that the wish would actually work. As if the universe would just give me $20,000 for no good reason.

I jumped in the car and headed home. As I was driving, I could feel what felt like a pebble digging in between my toes. The discomfort quickly went from annoying to unbearable. It was as if the pebble was trying to sever a toe. I was forced to pull over and shake it out. Out of the shoe dropped a penny. I checked my pocket only to feel the original penny still resting where I left it.

“Hm, ok universe, two pennies in one day ain’t bad”.

But I didn’t quite realise what I was in for yet. If I did, I would’ve left both pennies on the road.

Day 2:

What a lucky day! On my way to work I found three…THREE lucky pennies on the road! I then found extra pennies in the vending machine and then more pennies left behind on the bus bench. It was practically raining luck! So, I took a few of the pennies and grabbed myself a lotto ticket. I couldn’t lose!

Well, I could, and I did. It was a bummer. Clearly my luck only extended to pennies. Not ideal but at least I was on my way to riches. Incredibly slowly, but surely.

Day 3:

Day three amped up the speed a little. I was heading to the kitchen to get some breakfast (by breakfast I mean coffee). I went to open up the milk because I am not some psychopath who drinks coffee black. I swished the unopened milk bottle to make sure it was ok before I opened, nothing to report, was definitely milk. As I poured, I looked over at the pennies sitting in an otherwise empty money jar.

“Gotta start somewhere I guess.”

The sound of the milk hitting the coffee jerked my attention away. It sounded like metal hitting crockery. I looked down to find pennies falling out of the milk carton into the coffee, causing it to spill over the bench.

“Shit!” I hissed as I rush to get a towel. (Why my first thought was the coffee and not the pennies coming out of my brand new milk carton, is beyond me). Once the mess was cleaned, I finally turned back to the milk carton. I’ll be honest, I didn’t want to see what was inside it, but I knew I had to look. I try to peep inside but could see very little. I put my hands over my face and moaned. I was going to have to pour it again to see and honestly either milk or pennies seemed like horrifying options at this point. I strain my coffee from the cup (I was sufficiently awake now anyway). The pennies were still at the bottom of the cup, but that didn’t surprise me too much. I begin to pour into the cup again. Pennies once again fall into the cup, filling it.

How?! Why?! There was no way the milk carton was heavy enough to hold that much coin! I couldn’t believe this. Why me!? Why do these bloody pennies keep appearing! In anger I threw the carton to the ground.

Milk spilt everywhere.

Day 4:

Okay, now things are starting to get out of hand.

It was like I was in some stupid Blumhouse horror. As I walked down the hallway to the kitchen, I noticed that one of the photo frames that lined the hallway looked off. To my horror, every face in ever photo that lined the hallway, had a penny covering it. I run to the living room where I kept older photos in the drawer. Pennies covered every face, in ever photo I owned. Carefully sticky-taped in place

“This is getting ridiculous.” I sigh. I don’t even care about the pennies now. But why so meticulous?! This is supernatural, paranormal, psychopathic crazy now. This had to stop.

I go to grab some paracetamol from the cabinet to sooth the oncoming headache. But of course, every medicine bottle, ever bandage roll, and every pill box is filled with pennies.

I walk to the bathroom to shower and try to clear my head. I open the door and immediately start crying. Before me is the bathtub, filled to the brim with goddam pennies.

“Mother…fu…cc…” I expel between tears. When will this end?

Day 5:

I have had enough.

I march out to the balcony around 3am and look up at the moon and stars.

“Oi, celestial dickbags! I get it, alright! Careful what you wish for. Money isn’t everything. Blah blah blah! Now can you stop before I lose my goddam mind?!” (Pretty sure I’d already lost it to be fair).

I stomp back inside, slamming the glass door behind me.

…

It took me two days to collect all the pennies, bag them, and get them into my hatchback. In those two days, I thankfully saw no new pennies. One place almost gave me extra change for my take-out, but I quickly gave it back (okay I might have screamed in his face and threw the pennies over the counter, but the cashier took it surprisingly well).

I am still not 100% sure how I got so many pennies. All I know is that my dream strangely, and concerningly, came true. But a bit of advice? Never pick up a lucky penny.