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Loving

Ourselves

By Hope TalbottPublished 5 years ago 2 min read
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Loving ourselves comes difficulty, much more so than loving others. We as people tend to look past flaws in others and love them as they are, or even embrace flaws as strengths while focusing on the flaws in ourselves and damning ourselves for them. We, as a species, want to give love but have forgotten how to, and I believe it stems from damning ourselves. If we don't love ourselves, we have difficulty understanding how to love others, myself included.

I once reached out to a YouTube famous girl who said she wanted to spread the love, but didn't have any. She didn't love herself or think that she could love others till she did. What I attempted to get through to her was that she WAS love. She, in fact, was made up of what she was looking for. She touches the world with her humor and doesn't put on an act for the videos. She goes out and acts like herself, and because of which, she has brought joy to thousands of people. Instead of striving to become someone she wasn't for followers, she gained followers being who she was already, and that's a beautiful task and takes a lot of bravery to be bare like a nerve for the world to see. My attempt was to let her know two things; that she is already at a stage in her life that millions strive for—being herself—and that she was perfect as she was. Yes, perhaps later in life she would reach a stage that she may think is better, but that hasn't come yet and all the past experiences she's been through has brought her to the wonderful person she is today and that makes her perfect, today.

Everyone faces demons of their past and future. Everyone has fears, but instead of battling them, sometimes the best thing is to accept them as they are. This allows a strength in you to flourish like never before. Our experiences or our demons teach us many things, such as: strength to stand on your own feet or to reach out a hand for assistance, the courage to walk away from situations no longer giving you the light and joy they should, the passion to make a change in the world so others won't go through the same hardship as you, and the compassion to see why a person might act out the way they do. Some of our demons help us in ways that we needed to become the person we are today, to them, saying "thank you" is all it takes to ease the weight they bear on your shoulders.

It's easier to respond to something when you know more about it. Sometimes looking at what you've been through will help you break down why you are reacting the way you are. Processing the experiences you've survived through may assist you in stepping out of anger to observe what is happening so you may respond instead of reacting. For example, I grew up in an abusive home, and catch myself saying phrases to myself or to others that are hurtful and make things worse. I took a moment to look at what I've been through and decide that that's not how I want to act because I've seen how it affects situations. I then can pull myself out of the equation and step away from my anger to observe how else I could respond to get a better outcome. I believe this is an important part of learning to love ourselves because we gain back control.

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