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Live for Every Day

Zelitical.

By Zelitical .Published 5 years ago 5 min read
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Something important to remember is that failure is not synonymous with losing; this is something that often gets lost in the translation of reality.

Imagine a football game. You are 2-0 down, and you have the opportunity to score a goal, but you miss and hit the post. Anger, anxiety, and irrational thoughts fill your head. Why bother carrying on? What is the point in playing? Why am I not good enough? These overwhelm you and you quit, storm off the pitch, forfeiting the match and losing.

Now, imagine the same scenario, up until the missed opportunity to score a goal. The same negative thoughts arise in your head. Though, this time, instead of entertaining them, you adopt a different mindset. You realise one missed goal is not definitive of you as a person. The missed goal only triggers the desire to prove yourself, not to the people watching, but to yourself—you know what you are capable of doing. The game continues, you score a goal and assist in scoring two others. Your team has come back, winning the game 3-2. You win.

The lesson to be extracted from this is as follows

In the first example, you quit before knowing what could happen in the future. If you had believed in yourself, you would have won the game, but you did not. This is why one failure does not amount to losing.

If you complete an essay but you get a bad mark and give up, you have lost. If you try to do the essay again, with a better understanding of the topic, you have won, regardless of the mark. You have won because you have actively sought out self-improvement, and have most likely gained it. Be proud, because what you have just done will be beneficial than getting a good mark and simply throwing away the essay—though it may not be obvious right now, that attitude will benefit you greatly in the future.

In the past, I have certainly mistaken failure for losing. In the past, I would be fearful of failing, whereas now, I am only fearful of losing.

What I used to do, and I am sure it is something many of the readers right now can relate to, is self-sabotaging. For example, if I had a test coming up, I would be so enveloped by the fear of trying my best and failing, that I would simply not try at all. Inevitably, when my bad mark came, I did not care, because I could blame it on my lack of revision. A front would be put on in front of other people, pretending it did not bother me (in fact I believe I managed to convince myself I did not care at times) but deep-down, it bothered me. I acted as though that bad mark is the best I could have achieved, as though the option to do better by revising was not available to me. These lies become too familiar and are detrimental to success in the future.

After thinking about this during meditation, I have deduced that the most obvious reason for this behaviour is the fear of uncertainty. It is clear that this can not be defined as a phobia because it is a completely rational fear to manifest, in your day-to-day life. Indulge in one final analogy:

You work full-time, Monday-to-Friday, in a job you hate. You are unhappy in this position, so much so that most of your income is put towards enjoying the weekend. You find yourself feeling lost, without purpose. Asking yourself, when will things get better? You go out every weekend because it provides structure and certainty to your life. You know you will be working all week, that is certain. You know you will get drunk on Saturday, and be hungover Sunday, that is certain. This all brings you calm, but it is an unsustainable cycle. Soon the weekend will not excite you like before. This is where one of two things will happen: you will gradually get more depressed, as there is nothing to look forward to anymore. The alternative is that you will still chase this 'buzz', turning to other forms of stimulation—this unfulfillment is why many turn to drugs.

Now imagine you are in this same scenario, but instead of going out on the weekends, you save your money. This money is put towards self-improvement, you go to the gym, you try new clubs, you do more for yourself. Not only this, but you have gained more time to do these things, now you have all of Saturday evening free, and you have freed up the whole of Sunday too—if you can do more than just lay in bed with pizza when you're hungover then I applaud you. Now, I am not saying "never get drunk," but what I am suggesting is investing in long-term happiness, rather than short-term gratification. It is normal to be scared of what the future holds, but do not find yourself living for the weekends, live for every day.

As someone with anxiety, meditation has benefited me greatly in dealing with the struggles associated with new and challenging environments, it is something I would recommend to everyone. Begin with guided meditation, and do not expect instant results, be patient. It was difficult saying no to going out with friends, they would jokingly call me boring, but I can say with certainty, I am happier now. Please do not think I am telling you how to live your life, I would just like to make you conscious of the difference between instant gratification and actual happiness.

UNCERTAINTY IS NOT SOMETHING TO FEAR.

FAILING IS NOT SOMETHING TO FEAR.

YOU HAVE ONLY LOST ONCE YOU HAVE GIVEN UP!

(I use "Waking Up" when meditating—an app available on IOS and Android)

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About the Creator

Zelitical .

Hate doing this but as a student, saving for a car, any and all tips are greatly appreciated.

Still learning life... have a good day:)

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