Life Project

I saw a challenge on Vocal about creating your happiness through some sort of project or hobby that brings you joy. Being the optimistic person that I am, of course, I took that statement in a much more literal depth.

I could speak on the podcast I have put so much effort in. Or the gardening attempts I have failed at multiple times after a month of keeping my flowers alive. But hey, at least they survive long enough to blossom. Perhaps, I can speak on a couple of books sitting on my shelf that I begin to read but never finish. Mainly because I am too scared to say goodbye to the characters I grow so attached to. I know one day, I will have the courage to finish them.

I have also tried to learn piano, but I cannot seem to learn more than one song every 6 months. Yet, the biggest project I hold close to my heart is the project of building the life of my dreams. It runs deeper than materialistic desires. Pleasures that come with flesh cannot compare to the necessitate of this project.

During the brainstorming of any project, a million and one brilliant ideas come flying in. They make perfect sense until they land on paper. But the high remains within your veins. Kind of like the first sip of iced water after a run.

- Electrifying -

It isn't until your thoughts begin to stumble on a tad bit of self-doubt where the "what ifs" start to kick in.

"What if it doesn't work?"

"What if it doesn't come out as planned?"

"What if I am not good enough?"

"What if it is not enough?"

"What if it crumbles all apart after I build it?"

The saying of everything that comes up must come down applies to everything in life. Money, roller coasters, gravity, and happiness.

For those that battle seasonal depression, reminders as such allow space for flowing emotions. Space for emotions to be. A space where they can expand and deflate at the same time. A space to hold your breath in order to feel.

Only taking one to constantly seek the next best thing that will guide us towards happiness. We prepare, plan, and motivate during the peak of happiness. Preparing for the fall when things might begin to blur. Preparing for the "What ifs" or detachments.

Everything feels and looks better when happiness is involved. So how do you keep afloat? How do you keep happiness in your pocket? How to you become more than contempt?

Life and the pursuit of happiness is a project I have found myself constantly working on since my conscience began to kick in at the age of 3. Constantly wanting to brainstorm, plan, and create to take control of my next step.

The need to know what will be next. The need-to-know happiness is coming even when seasons change. It's a way one keeps themselves alive with hope streaming in. The way you maintain the best version of yourself for your loved ones who deserve to see you constantly happy.

Even when things become too heavy to bare over your shoulders, they suddenly go away over time. Because keeping a mindset that you are in control allows one to fight depression whenever it comes peeking through your window.

Because when things are bad, they will get better. Because when things are good, they can become great.

The secret is to brainstorm, plan, build, create, prepare, and follow through with plans. Even when you no longer wish to take the next step. This is why I consider life as my biggest project over any other project.