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Ken Jouself

To know yourself is to create a better you.

By Vanity JonesPublished 7 years ago 3 min read
Top Story - December 2017

I guess it’s sort of a cliché to say, “confidence is key,” but as well as it is a cliché, it’s also very true. Someone told me that other day that people shouldn’t watch or go on social media, so that they do not feel less than another individual or simply insecure. I disagree with this concept. Now, I believe that people with insecurities should take steps to becoming more secure and confident with themselves and if turning off social media helps you, then by all means do that, but I want us to look at the thing we fear will create an insecurity and face that head on. Rebuttal the negativity with positivity. I believe confident comes with knowing yourself enough to see “bad” comments about yourself. To know others are not so fond of you and be okay with that because you love you.

Words DO hurt! I can be the first to attest to that. I know when people say certain things it can get under our skin and sometimes even cause us to lash out, but allow me to show you three starter steps on how to be so confident in yourself, you will barely even acknowledge it.

Step One: Protect what is yours.

Do you have a friend or friends whom constantly bring negative vibes or energy? A lot of times we are attracted to people who portrays an upstanding personality then once you actually get to know them they bring out their “true colors.” In fact, we tend to change ourselves. Sometimes we don’t notice, but other people do. When someone is showing you their true colors take that for face value. It’s easier for someone to leach off of you and suck up all of your positivity and leave you dry rather than to make sure their energy is protected. When you are drained out you look for people to reimburse you and fill you with their energy. You want to stay the positive, outgoing, outstanding person you are. Someone who does not have the same energy as you can affect you in unimaginable ways. The friendship and energy that comes along with it should always be mutual. If it isn’t mutual it’s UN-HEALTHY. I CANNOOOTT stress enough how important it is to protect your energy. People that bring you down and pour negative comments in your spirit are a “no-go.” You want people around you who lifts you up and support you and makes you better.

Step Two: What’s yours is yours.

Stand up for yourself! I know it’s easier said than done, but when you allow people to know you cannot be stomped on you gain a sense of confidence. It is okay to have an opinion. Do not justify being and staying unheard. If there is a matter where you disagree with something you are a part of SPEAK ABOUT IT. If you are in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, do something about it. Know that most individuals WILL take advantage of your silence. Speak up and be about what you speak about.

Step Three: Body Language

Ever heard of the phrase “Fake it ‘til you make it?” It’s best to look the part and feel the part than actually be the part. When you look confident, you can be confident. The first important thing to do is identify your body language. When you are speaking and standing up straight, looking in someone’s eyes and keeping your head up it shows that most likely you know what you are talking about and your confident in what you’re talk about. It keeps others engaged in the conversation. When you walk straight and forward, it shows that you are fierce, and you can take on the world! Whether a male or female you always want to act as if there is a crown on your head. Keep your head up and do not let your crown slip.

It’s one thing to say that you want to be more confident, but it’s another thing to actually take steps in being that new, confident person. Being confident doesn’t mean be mean, it just means that you know yourself and you are able to pick yourself back up when things going wrong. Know that trying these steps will help you evolve and with evolving some individuals will disappear from your old life, but you will be confident in yourself enough to trust in your growth and accept the change. You have to know what you love about you, embrace that and accept it.

As young adults we all struggle with a little bit of confidence and finding ourselves it’s okay to be alone sometimes and figure out your next step. This brings you to not only confidence, but another level of maturity. A friend once told me that “solitude equals growth” and I completely agree. Love who are and stay confident in who you want to be.

Ken Jouself



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    Vanity JonesWritten by Vanity Jones

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