It's Okay to be Negative Sometimes

Have you ever read off your morning mantra with a bit of "WTF am I doing?!" vibe? Have you ever said the words even when you strongly didn't mean it? The shame, the guilt, from not living a 100% positive life has begun to plague many. It's no doubt that social media has been paving the paths for our ideas on beauty, activism, lifestyle, and ways we see ourselves. However, a culture of crystal-loving gods and goddesses have deemed it necessary to keep the positivity - even when there isn't any to be found.

Listen, it's okay to not feel happy. Growing up there was this fascination with “don’t cry” and “it’s okay” consistently swarming over our heads to just not feel. Or, in the least, don’t show what you feel. It is not your parent’s fault, after all they were told the same. But learning to feel, express, or accept your feelings is an important part of growth. I hope you'll start to feel better about not being happy-go-lucky all the time when you're done reading this article.

Honestly, it must be the constant need for posting good things online, right? Food is emotionless, it's an easy read. It's our little 10-minute vacation and our place to chill out. Many come to social media to be inspired, happy and keeps them out of their bad mood or helps them ignore issues that they don't want to face.

Being positive is a wonderful tool and way to live. However, life is hard and not meant to be a walk in the park (by all means, please continue your walks in the park.) Life includes ups and downs in which our moods and lives fluctuate. When we ignore our emotions during crisis, and force ourselves to only see the positive, we remove our brain’s ability to accept and grow accordingly. No matter how hard you think positively, if you haven't progressed through the steps of true grieving then the trauma will remain within you even if you say you 'learned a lot.'

Staying on either side of this spectrum is indeed not the way to travel. Instead, meandering gently over each line may be the most balanced way to experience our emotions in a healthy manner. Instead of finding the positives to every situation, allow how you feel to be expressed. Let your feelings be felt, even if it doesn't feel good. This doesn't mean you have to share it with anyone but share your feelings with yourself. At the end, you can choose to move on from the feeling or take a break from it.

Deep internal work is not done through finding the positive sides of life. Deep work is also finding the darkness in ourselves, the areas we are fearful, and the traumas we have grown inside us. These fears and negative thoughts are not bad; they were made by our brains in the moment we experienced pain so that we may remember that trauma so as not to let it happen again. Our brains want us to survive. Negativity is often an expression of pain. When we allow our brains to experience negativity, then follow with a feeling of safety, we allow new neural connections to be made surrounding that emotion.

Also, negativity gives you an internal look at what you don't like. Explore that negativity and you may very well learn more about the things you are really interested in. In turn, you can create boundaries that are necessary from learning more about yourself.

So, while positivity is important, so is feeling the negative emotions as well. As long as both are understood and accepted with love, then we too will begin to accept and love ourselves.

Have you ever read off your morning mantra with a bit of "WTF am I doing?!" vibe? Have you ever said the words even when you strongly didn't mean it? The shame, the guilt, from not living a 100% positive life has begun to plague many. It's no doubt that social media has been paving the paths for our ideas on beauty, activism, lifestyle, and ways we see ourselves. However, a culture of crystal-loving gods and goddesses have deemed it necessary to keep the positivity - even when there isn't any to be found.

Listen, it's okay to not feel happy. Growing up there was this fascination with “don’t cry” and “it’s okay” consistently swarming over our heads to just not feel. Or, in the least, don’t show what you feel. It is not your parent’s fault, after all they were told the same. But learning to feel, express, or accept your feelings is an important part of growth. I hope you'll start to feel better about not being happy-go-lucky all the time when you're done reading this article.

Honestly, it must be the constant need for posting good things online, right? Food is emotionless, it's an easy read. It's our little 10-minute vacation and our place to chill out. Many come to social media to be inspired, happy and keeps them out of their bad mood or helps them ignore issues that they don't want to face.

Being positive is a wonderful tool and way to live. However, life is hard and not meant to be a walk in the park (by all means, please continue your walks in the park.) Life includes ups and downs in which our moods and lives fluctuate. When we ignore our emotions during crisis, and force ourselves to only see the positive, we remove our brain’s ability to accept and grow accordingly. No matter how hard you think positively, if you haven't progressed through the steps of true grieving then the trauma will remain within you even if you say you 'learned a lot.'

Staying on either side of this spectrum is indeed not the way to travel. Instead, meandering gently over each line may be the most balanced way to experience our emotions in a healthy manner. Instead of finding the positives to every situation, allow how you feel to be expressed. Let your feelings be felt, even if it doesn't feel good. This doesn't mean you have to share it with anyone but share your feelings with yourself. At the end, you can choose to move on from the feeling or take a break from it.

Deep internal work is not done through finding the positive sides of life. Deep work is also finding the darkness in ourselves, the areas we are fearful, and the traumas we have grown inside us. These fears and negative thoughts are not bad; they were made by our brains in the moment we experienced pain so that we may remember that trauma so as not to let it happen again. Our brains want us to survive. Negativity is often an expression of pain. When we allow our brains to experience negativity, then follow with a feeling of safety, we allow new neural connections to be made surrounding that emotion.

Also, negativity gives you an internal look at what you don't like. Explore that negativity and you may very well learn more about the things you are really interested in. In turn, you can create boundaries that are necessary from learning more about yourself.

So, while positivity is important, so is feeling the negative emotions as well. As long as both are understood and accepted with love, then we too will begin to accept and love ourselves.