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I'll Never Stop Here Thanks To Her.

Why do we fail? Only to redefine success.

By Rajaroy Joseph AlphonsePublished 4 years ago 4 min read
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I believe that everyone has a dream - big or small, it doesn't matter. As long as there is a drive to strive against something that is deeply personal and profound, dreams never die.

My dream is to become a successful story-teller through movies - once again, big or small, it doesn't matter.

However the struggle for me as a story-teller has always been about finding the right motivation to get back on track, particularly after a rejection, but only for more rejections to follow - again and again and again.

I met this wonderful woman who had moved into an apartment nearby, just a couple of years back. Once in a while we meet strangers who fall into the categories of HONEST, GENUINE and TRUSTWORTHY. She would perfectly fit into those categories, in any order. The trouble for me was that I already had a girlfriend and I couldn't decide which direction to take. I still believe that I made the right decision in the end.

Though she was the nicest person on earth, life was cruel to her. Her dad fell sick and she had to return to her country. I still remember the smile on her face when we said our last good-byes. Though I fell in love with her we made the decision to stay as friends but not lovers, for the right reasons.

In less than a month her dad passed away.

Three months later her mom died.

To make the situation worse, a few days later, her ex-husband took away her kids from her. She appealed to the court but it rejected her plea. She was determined not to give up. She sold all her farm animals to cope with the financial crisis but it only ended in vain.

A few weeks later, she lost her beloved cat Maya. Maya was my favourite too. I miss him, his black and white silky hair and also his wild side.

And soon her ulcer worsened.

To rub salt into the wound she started exhibiting symptoms of COVID-19.

She is struggling through an unendurable suffering of a life but I know about her, that she is not the kind of person who was born to give up.

Sometimes I wonder what it is like to be beaten down to the ground at every single turn in life. It is a harsh reality that life doesn't throw equal opportunities to everyone. Now when I look back at my rejections, I can't help but laugh at how true it is.

However what shall one do - is it a good idea to not give up on the pursuit towards one's goals, or fall succumbed to pessimism and instead abandon the goals?

A few days back I spoke to her on messenger. I was relieved to hear that she wasn't positive for COVID-19 though she is still under isolation. In the middle of our conversation something dawned on me when she mentioned the four little magic words, "I AM HAPPY THOUGH". It is a lie that I've learnt to convince myself of since then. Surprisingly, it's making me more comfortable with my otherwise paler life. I'm waking up every morning and telling myself this one lie that I'm happy and I'll be happier in future. I can't promise for a positive result in the long run but I have a strong feeling that things might turn out well this time.

I'm not saying that my failures have changed but without denying, my point-of-view has.

Yesterday I messaged her once again but her reply was simply a happy smiley face, nothing more nothing less. I instantly understood the gravity of her response. So I replied with the same smiley but stopped poking more at her.

I pray for her everyday. Her strength to fight against all odds is my biggest inspiration. I was a failure at first, then a pessimist and now I'm a liar. I constantly keep evolving but I'll never stop.

I'm still running towards my goals. Every time I fall short I think about her - that HONEST, GENUINE AND TRUSTWORTHY person, and tell myself, "Yes, it's a terrible blow but I'll never stop here".

success
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About the Creator

Rajaroy Joseph Alphonse

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