Hustle Believe Recieve

This book was recommended to me by someone very close to me who I consider to be a mentor. It was January 2020 and I had been struggling, to say the least, with my mental wellness. And this was pre quarantine... I struggle with Manic Depression, Generalized Anxiety, PTSD with a tendency toward neuroticism and S.A.D. This bout had been particularly bad and I felt myself sliding backward over all the progress I had previously made. I had left my job of three years that June after a co-worker turned practically mother, best friend and confidant suddenly passed away of a heart attack. In my grief, I was able to see how working 84 hours a week, 12 hours a day 7 days a week for a month straight not to mention the ever changing schedule between dayshift, swing and graveyard was wearing on my family life, and my boys were acting out at home. It was time for a change. I had a wild summer thereafter of making manic decisions some of which I am still living with the consequences of to this day. (facepalm)I quit my job, I started and quit two or three more jobs in the course of six months, I impulse spent all my savings, I got a dog during the most tumultuous time (though I would do that again 1000x over) I took two impulse trips one of which I didn't tell anyone about. I cut people off and made friends with strangers (something I would never normally do) I finally started to settle my ass down and found the perfect job for me (medical transport) with flexible hours, great pay and benefits. I get the job, and I go through like 40 hours of training which by the way, cost in total like, 300 bucks and I was building a great relationship with my boss then BAM! The City of Portland denies my certification request even though they had approved my permit. I appeal this decision and get a court date set for months out. That felt like such a huge setback and it was all the excuse my ego needed to justify sliding into a fully depressed state in which I don't leave my house for weeks. I don't file for unemployment or any other benefits like I know I should. I cancel all plans, I stop answering the phone. I don't wash or brush my hair. I'm suddenly into my like, twentieth time of watching Game Of Thrones after binge-watching for what could have been the one-hundredth time Tru Blood and I realize I need to pull myself out of it. I reach out because that's all I have the energy for at that moment. Yet I know I don't want to 'feeling dump' on anyone, I just need a little direction toward some actionable steps I could take to get back on track.

Turns out, this Sarah Centrella chick had such a similar story to mine at almost exactly the same time, in exactly the same city! 2008 was a rough year for me as well! Her story and her captivating way of telling it drew me in but I stayed for the work. Each of her eight steps comes with assignments that are really fulfilling to complete. plus 51 success stories of people who have used her same methods on their own. That's one of the things I love about her work. She doesn't claim ownership of some secret formula for success! In fact, she sets out to show how these are basic principles that many successful people act on without prompt but rather from a deep-rooted urgency to keep going no matter what. She's purposeful in the use of language and she DREAMS, THINKS, SAYS, WRITES, SEES, DOES, BELIEVES AND LIVES her intentions and dreams into existence. In doing so she taught me to do the same. That's why I am even here on Vocal, is because of reading this book, creating my bucket list and setting out to accomplish the things on that list. Publishing my writings is something I have procrastinated on for ten years. That's another story though.

By January 27th, I had quit smoking cigs, started taking supplements like vegan omega 3 and MCT oil and multivitamins, changed my whole diet around and finally signed up for kickboxing fitness at ILOVEKICKBOXING.COM in Oregon City, only a fifteen-minute drive from my place. Soon after the boys and I enrolled at a gym learning jujitsu together. Finally, it felt like things were looking up! I had control of my own life and the whole world in my hands. I kept rereading this book. From January to the present I must have read it five times. I've done the work anew four of those five. I started tanning for red light therapy, became a gym rat, and signed up for personal training with LA fitness bringing my gym membership total to three and making my schedule align to compensate for my six-day a week habit. I was riding the highs of energy and positivity and endorphins that come with high-intensity workouts every day and eating right. Three and a half months later, the best three months of my life, The quarantine and Covid-19 and systemic racism and police brutality really threw a wrench in all those meticulously laid plans for my mental health. That can be fragile. Yet I remain hopeful and I stay clutching this book and taking something new from it each time I work through it. No matter how many times I need to pick myself up and dust myself off and start over, I'll never give up hope and I'll never stop trying to better my life and my children's lives and the community in any way I can.