Hurry Up & Wait!

Dear the inner you. You know, the one that you don’t understand- yet.

How many times have you retracted your hand from that metaphorical knob? Frozen, thawing in the face of this narrow lit door. You know what I'm talking about. The windows too small to see the entirety of the other side, sometimes it’s just fogged. This is the door to an opportunity. Outside (and I mean right outside) of your comfortable zone. The room that you’ve encapsulated yourself in is comfortable enough. Just enough to survive.

Why aren’t you opening it? Do you not know what’s on the other side? Look behind you, there’s another one. Suddenly, your room turns into a continuum of a hallway lined with doors that run parallel to each other. The width as wide as the span of your shoulders. The depth of the vestibule swallows as it journeys forward. A light emits at its core.

I’ve watched your eyes buckle, hands tremble, respirations increase and then you!- you don’t go anywhere. After shutting your eyes, as if you’re going to actually accept the challenge, nothing happened. Isolated momentum. Try running, it’s a spherical floor, you’re going in circles.

Now what? That raging inferno of energy depleted quicker than a static charge. And you’re supposed to be a being of the becoming, aren’t you? Not a being of been. (Here is something I understand as the continuation principle at work. Something that can be compared to the upbringing of a being: The reason why we have to have the past for the present to go about the future. That alignment should be linear at worse.) The sun rises daily to become a source of light, heat and therapy. Untouched by any outside correction, a defined and disciplined anomaly that humans are designed to naturally cooperate with. We travel it, it does not travel us. Or does it?

In lieu of its unspoken potential, we rely heavily upon its appearance and disappearance. It doesn’t stop moving, if it did, it would die. Are you moving enough?

You’re a hormonally driven specie. The same adrenaline glands that bring you the ability to pounce or sprint can be exploited. In the opposing, as seen as necessary, calculated by the moment (reaction) the reversal of those chemicals restore neutrality. This is why crying (internal), physical aggression (exterior), and meditation (cooperating silencing) accomplish the relief of excess energy. Distractions are not eliminators.

Who said vulnerability is vulturous? (No one. Here’s something new: think of all of my analogies to the extreme.) If so, then wouldn’t the vision of fragile define as pray? It exploits well, the pecking order of animals that naturally entertain humans. What’s exploration other than a venture for data, patterns, and increasing ability of survival (if you venture correctly). I say “if” as a cushion, some things might actually terrorize you with relentless, hinged grips. Just like that door, did you open it yet?

Per my last paragraph, I’m basically saying don’t be a prey.

Does deception hold title to your isolation? It’s not just you that got you here, right? You want to be the best possible version, to spec out your construction, “they” just won’t let you. Is there something that couldn’t be forgiven? The space between you and it, how far apart is that gap? A split in the sidewalk or the plummeting void of a canyon? There’s depth to those cracks.

How close are you willing to get, comfort wise, before withdrawing? What if, instead, you creeped closer. Do you trust yourself? Seriously, ask yourself. Do, you, trust, your, self. If yes, then what do you have to worry about? If you don’t then it’s obvious what you lack. You’re the cohost now, and yeah, maybe sometimes you’re giving the orders but with or without your acknowledgement, you’re just an understudy. Grab the damn knob before the winds blows your willingness away.

Moving forward, are you tired of running? How many things are chasing you? What are you chasing? Think to yourself. Be brutal, realistic, an asshole, skeptical, be connective, think hard. Think harder. What could it be? When did it start? Did you figure out where it ends too or are you lessening those resources by keeping an ever-moving distance between you and it? Did it come from somewhere or someone? Are you actually not completely aware of its makeup? You know why it’s not tired? Because you’re pinned, not in a pursuit. The origina right there. If you could only find yourself, the answer is acknowledgment, the product is freedom. And this is obtainable. When you stop your mind from creating this race (loop), the passing blurs become clear.

Let’s play substitute for substitute. Use all of that raging anger that constricts you to break free. It’s easy, instead of pushing both the brake and the throttle, let go of the brake. Open that eye and ride.

That wall in front of you could just be suspended paper. Use 1000 words to create a picture. Break through, break free. It’s like those cartoons of the fake tunnel, remember those?

Why is it blurry? That narrow window in the door, its glass. How do you define a picture that’s not that fine? Where’s your focus? You don’t see how that goes? Do I need to say it? Really?

My being, those lips are fused with venom. The plight is that you both suffer. Like we all do. Isolated or accompanied. Was it all worth it?

What was my point all along? It’s you against yourself. Who’s going to win? Them or you?

From the garden of your mind, gold thrones – maroon rose. You.

PS: Repeat as needed.

PPS: I hope you make it out.

PPPS: If you’ve gotten this far, let me be the first to welcome you. At the end of this darkness your mind is plummeting through, you’ll get to a point. You learn through repetition. This point is where you’ve become too restricted, the only other thing that could possibly occur is an expansion. That’s the big bang that brought on light (life). I’ll be sure to welcome you after all the deconstruction of that unawareness. The brutal transformation back into an Anunnaki state. But first, you’ll have to do one thing. Fall (fail).

Welcome, to the other side.

*Side note: If you enjoyed this odd yet interesting string of thought, please feel free to donate and keep up with me as this blog will contain a ton of creative series ranging from different topics, experiences, projects and challenge directed submissions! Thank you!

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Sincerely, Jahvon.