How to Actually Stop Giving a Fuck What People Think About You

I hate to admit it. But I really give a fuck what you think about me.

And I don’t share that because I want you to tell me that you like, love, or whatever me. You probably don’t even know me.

No, I say that because it’s honest. And because I know at least some of you do too.

We say we don’t give a fuck. But then we let our parents, our friends, our colleagues, and even strangers on the internet dictate our every move.

We say we don’t give a fuck. But then we allow a voice inside our head — that isn’t even our own — decide our careers, the limit of our ambitions, how we feel about ourselves when we’re alone.

We say we don’t give a fuck. But then we realize far too late in life that, in reality, we did.

So, if you’re like me — you, despite being told not to, give a tremendous amount of fucks what people think about you — I want to tell you something…

You don’t have to sit around waiting for that feeling to go away. You can be bold and do the things you know will move your life forward while still giving a fuck what people think about you.

And you should. Because, ironically, that’s how you actually learn to stop giving a fuck what people think about you. And here’s why.

It’s Not a Declaration

Everyone makes it seem so easy. They make it seem like you can get rid of any self-doubt, anxiety, and imposter syndrome by suddenly declaring:

“I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks about me!”

But for me (and maybe you too) that shit doesn’t work. It’s too simple. Sure, it feels good to say it. But does it actually lead to higher levels of self-esteem in the long run? I think not.

The truth is that you learn to not give a fuck what people think about you by doing something else entirely.

Some people do this thing earlier in life than others. In fact, they did it so early in life that they aren’t even aware that it gave them an advantage at not giving a fuck what people think about them.

Others did this thing without knowing it. These people make not giving a fuck seem simple because they weren’t even aware they were doing the thing I’m about to share with you.

Luckily, even though you and I may be behind, we can intentionally do the thing that sets us on the same path to real confidence.

So, here it is. To eventually one day not give a fuck what people think about you, you simply have to collect evidence.

Evidence Is the Key

Evidence? Yep, that’s right.

You learn to not give a fuck what people think about you by collecting evidence.

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… We must do that which we think we cannot.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

But, evidence of what?

Evidence that the benefits of being you, of going after the things you want most in life — despite what people may think — outweigh the hypothetical consequences you’ve created in your mind.

Evidence that, when you put yourself in situations where you give many fucks what people think about you, you come out the other side stronger, not weaker.

Evidence that you can handle the uncomfortableness of giving a fuck what people think about you.

In other words, you learn to not give a fuck by intentionally desensitizing yourself to the pain of giving a fuck.

It’s a Process You Must Endure

Reaching the point where you don’t give a fuck what people think about you is not a declaration.

“Confidence comes from hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication.” — Robert Staubach

A declaration would be too easy.

Instead, getting to a point where you don’t give a fuck what people think about you is a process that you must endure. Today. Tomorrow. For as long as you need.

Is it an easy process? Absolutely not.

It’s a process that involves putting yourself out there. Failing in public. Feeling embarrassed. Picking yourself up. And then doing it again, and again, and again until none of the negative opinions hurt as much as they do now.

That shit isn’t easy. So, usually, we avoid it.

But you must do it. Don’t run away from the pain of giving a fuck what people think about you. Commit to the process.

Because what’s the alternative? A life full of regrets, of missed opportunities, of always wondering what if?

I refuse. I will not. I just can’t.

Can you?