How I am using one Catholic way of living to help me move on from my past

You know nothing new comes under the sun…

This is part of a scripture in the Bible. I came across this verse during the blur of lockdown in 2020. I call it my ‘soul lockdown.’ Something else was calling us during lockdown and I was desperate for some help - reading scriptural revelations and encouragement helped a lot (that’s for another time and story).

And so I wanted to share you this verse to help understand our patterns in our challenges, headaches and the everyday stresses in our lives. Below can be used as a reflection especially in our home lives right now. #lockdownbeing

To help explain this spiritual principle of life, I will need to illustrate it by sharing you my reflections after waking up from a dream ~

This was recorded in the blur of 2020:

i awake half-asleep as i’m aware with my voice

why does this feel like a dream

wait -

can it be?

i am stuck, another day

the same day to give me another chance

to take hold of my karmic deeds

and confront it, face it

to break this suffering

here and now . . .

Call it ‘karma.’

I feel this is my being realising the essence of ‘self-infliction’ and frustration in a new light and revelation.

I am weak and I do not know why I keep repeating the same habit and deed. I fight myself.

Now, I have arrived at another path - to learn about my ancestors’ way of being and understanding karmic relationships and self-cultivation.

My head use to ‘think’ it knows. Now, my be-ing rules...

Keep walking.

Ask yourself:

What is the meaning behind this relationship?

It could have been pre-planned before we were conscious OR it could be this spiritual orchestrative play which is playing out for every 7 billion humans and counting (that includes me and you!)

So when we re-turn . . .

We are dusts and we will walk dust-fully until we de-part . . .

Re-call, re-ceive the call

Re-learn, re-try

As we die in our sleep to our same realities

With the same anger, selfish-ness, mistakes, fantasies. . .

Re-solve

To re-new relationships

. . .

And lastly my soul also wanted to share how going back to the start can help ground us:

I thought my right hand would rule well

I thought familiarity and comfort signalled confidence and faith

But my efforts were put down

When i hit the prayer bell with my non-dominant hand

The bell in return rang rays of messy voices

I silenced my left hand for too long

I forgot I began with my left

But I left

Because I wanted to run and seek something else

My mother told me I was not swinging the bell right

This time I let the moment fall to where it wanted it to be

My left hand controlled the swing

I labelled my left as clumsy

I felt weak

To my surprise

The bell cried out with rays of freedom and strength

I pray for my left to lead the way now

Once again--

To another decade

To give me faith

And an anchor.

^ I captured my soul notes the night before Easter Sunday.

—

Today one year later:

I received relief from the universe and I am re-making and re-marking my steps to be and keep sane.

The cycle of life is like the seasons -

We gain fruit, we lose the fruit, we wilt, we let go and then restart.

I prayed internally - loud in my head, with every feeling and desire in my heart and soul when I finally called out for help. Now I am part of my local parish not as a baptised Catholic(another story for another time) but as a volunteer, a friendly neighbour/citizen and human who feels the drive to rectify her past, start anew and give back using my gifts and talents.

So everything we learn today is borrowed and innovated from books, our ancestors and resources that have been recycled from our magical Mother Earth. (Juju)

You can receive relief too. Participating in spiritual groups can help you with your past blockages, emotions, and steps to keep you moving forward. In terms of the Catholic faith, I witnessed the action, service and community which gave me a renewed optimism that being a good person wasn’t about being ‘right,’ or memorising as many scriptures as I could BUT it is ultimately about the way — the sincere words, gifts and hospitality I use to contribute to the orchestra that is playing in humanity right now.

We first need to go through this cycle of seasons before we can arrive at a past to finally re-assess, re-examine and re-take action for the next chapter in our life. There is no rush. The time will come in your due time. Trust your life path. You got this. Your ancestors is with you.

We can re-kindle the fire again.

~Keep it burning.

~~juju