How Failure Teaches Us Quietly

Failure.

The word itself does not sound pleasant.

Rather, it sounds depressing, depriving, or discouraging.

It conveys no positive message, no good vibes.

We often see this word as the opposite of success.

The word success often evokes excitement or a positive impression.

However, failure is not the opposite of success. Rather, it's part of it, and success is often built on a foundation of failures.

Therefore, failures serve as the stepping stones to success.

We have many examples of successful careers that were built after a series of failures.

We can take an example from the life of JK Rowling, one of the world’s billionaire authors of this era.

Her journey was not easy.

Before her manuscript for ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’ was first published, it was rejected by 12 publishing houses.

During this period, she also faced significant personal and professional challenges.

She was unemployed, a divorced single mother, and relied on government assistance in Britain.

Today, she is a phenomenal writer with 7 books translated into over 80 languages and 8 blockbuster films grossing more than $7.7 billion.

In her own words, by accepting each failure, she was able to strip away the nonessentials and focus on what truly mattered.

Have you read the book ‘Outliers: The Story of Success’, by Malcolm Gladwell? If not, I suggest you read it.

Gladwell argues that our understanding of success is fundamentally flawed.

An outlier is someone who stands out or is completely different from others.

In his book, Gladwell talks about some of the world’s most successful figures.

He argued that to achieve exceptional success in a field, as the Beatles and Bill Gates did, one must invest around 10,000 hours of practice.

However, recent research suggests that the 10,000-hour rule is not absolute.

Practice certainly helps, but other factors, such as age, intelligence and talent, appear to play a greater role.

According to the research, only about 12 per cent of skill mastery contributes to subsequent success.

Success and failure are not purely individual.

Being successful or failing is not entirely within your control, nor does it depend only on your talent and effort.

You may fail simply because you lacked the right opportunities.

You may fail because you had no access to resources and training opportunities.

You may fail because you were born at the wrong time or in the wrong place.

There are cultural norms and social structures which can restrict people from achieving success in many societies.

There is injustice among communities. There are inequalities between groups of people, including gender, race and caste-based deprivation.

Some are privileged while others are underprivileged.

In countries like Nepal and India, caste systems exist, and lower castes have been underprivileged for hundreds of years.

How can they succeed when they must compete with candidates from upper castes that have historically monopolised resources?

Similarly, how can people of colour and immigrants in the USA succeed when competing with those who have long held social and economic advantages?

This also applies in nature.

For example, the tallest oak tree in the forest is not tall only because of the strength of its acorn, but also because of favourable conditions such as ample sunlight, rich soil, protection from animals and the absence of human interference.

Therefore, it is unwise to label people as failures without understanding the context behind their situation.

The path of success is not a straight line.

In fact, it is zigzag, with a thousand twists and turns. Each time we choose the wrong path, it gives us insight into the right destination.

Life, in reality, is full of ups and downs and unexpected challenges. Regardless of our plan and preparation, failure is inevitable.

Few people achieve the goals, but everyone who succeeds has failed stories.

If you are teaching others how to succeed in a given field, you should begin by sharing your failures.

Melanie Stefan, a lecturer at the School of Biomedical Sciences at the University of Edinburgh, encouraged academics to share their ‘CV of failures’ or a candid record of rejected applications, denied funding and unpublished journal articles.

Inspired by her, Johannes Haushofer, a Princeton professor of Psychology and Public Affairs, published a CV of his career failures on Twitter to encourage others to keep going despite setbacks.

Through ‘CV of failure’, he intended to show that not every effort leads to success.

He listed sections such as ‘Degree programs I did not get into’, ‘Research funding I did not get’ and ‘Paper rejections from academic journals’.

He also included sections such as ‘Academic positions and fellowships I did not get’ and ‘Awards and scholarships I did not get’.

He further wrote, ‘Most of what I try fails, but these failures are often invisible, while the successes are visible’.

His tweet was widely praised as inspiring, insightful and powerful.

This example reminds us that countless unseen failures support every success.

When we look at successful people, we rarely notice the struggles behind their achievements.

By reflecting on our own failures, we can develop a deeper sense of gratitude for the successes we experience.

I recall the central message of the book Atomic Habits by James Clear that ‘real success is the result of consistent small actions performed over time’.

People often say that they will be happy when they achieve a goal.

But such happiness will not remain long. Because the dopamine rush on goal achievement soon fades away.

Success often feels temporary; before long, we set another goal, trapping ourselves in a cycle of never feeling truly satisfied.

It is said that the biggest failure is setting the goal for success.

And if you set your goals ridiculously high, there will be a high chance that you will fail.

This is because, from a neuroscience perspective, our brain often favours the established neural pathways.

The mind tends to follow the familiar path. Setting a goal is creating a new task, which the brain does not accept easily.

In conclusion, success requires a fortunate combination of talent, effort and opportunity.

A harder truth to accept is that success is never guaranteed.

There are many instances where failure does not lead to success, and those stories carry important truths about how the world really works.

We often regret failure and glorify success.

But in reality, failure has great value. It can be a powerful teacher in our lives.

Success without a series of failures, on the other hand, can feel like being lifted by a crane and placed at the top instantly, leaving us unaware of the challenges along the journey.

Therefore, success may not often be our greatest teacher; failure always is.

We learn far more from our failures, as reflected in the ancient Chinese saying, ‘failure is the mother of success’.

References:

Clear, J. (2018). Atomic habits: An easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. Avery, an imprint of Penguin Random House.

Stefan, M. (2010). A CV of failures. Nature 468, 467. https://doi.org/10.1038/nj7322-467a

Gladwell, M. (2008). Outliers: The story of success. Little, Brown and Co.

This story was originally published in 'Write A Catalyst' on Medium