Gossip, Rumours, and Lies

We all tend to gossip, judge, and comment on other people lives. The tea is hot sometimes (sips tea, hahah) and we can't help it but tell our friends. Sometimes we don't even know if the source is reliable or not, if we're even speaking facts, and we will still go ahead and tell somebody that will tell somebody that will tell somebody that will tell somebody...

Despite that, nobody likes to hear rumours and lies about themselves. By the time a story gets out there's very little truth to it, because people can never explain things the way they heard them. False memory recall is a REAL THING. Sometimes there was no truth to a story to begin with. One thing I've learned is that people will lie for absolutely no reason.

I used to get so upset when I heard rumours about me. It's hard to hear lies and not being able to defend yourself, especially as a woman. People will often judge your character based on what others tell them and spread lies quicker than actually approaching you and asking whether they're true or not.

I've physically assaulted a couple of people for saying things about me—was I right to do that? Absolutely not. Neither will I encourage you guys to resort to violence. Will I apologise to some of these people? Nope! I'm not that mature yet. I will always be honest with you guys, I'm not sorry. Right now I don't have it in me to apologise to these people. But I'm working extremely hard on my self-control, it's hard not to turn around and smack people sometimes.

Story time

Right so let me tell you, because this one really hurt me—to this day, I'm still mad! Let me tell you, one day I hope I'm able to write an article on forgiveness, because right now I still don't know what it means.

So this singer from Portugal came over to give a concert, and after the party me and my friends went to see him backstage, so we were backstage hanging out with him, having fun as you can see in the video if you click thislink (Yes I'm bringing receipts, ahahaha). A day or two after that I went on holidays. When I got back home my friends lifted me from the bus station and whilst we were in the car they told me that they have something to tell me—so what they heard was that a couple people were saying that I slept with the singer after his concert and that I posted a video on Snapchat, sitting on his lap and all types of things that never happened. Mind you, that is very clear in that video that I didn't. When I came around to finding out who said these things, it was these older women in my town that were spreading these lies. I believe that at their age, it's very disappointing that they would do this. I feel like if you're older person instead of saying bad things about younger people, call them out and guide them—set the example! I cried like a baby that night. I was so annoyed that they would make up such a lie with 0 facts and without even being there. I cried because I felt disrespected. But let me tell you, after I was done crying, I told myself that I would never ever pay attention to anything I hear about myself again.

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” ― Henry Thomas Buckle

If I cried every time I heard something about myself I would cry forever. It's impossible to control what people say or think about you, no matter how good you consider yourself to be. Now I can honestly say I don't care, at all! (flicks hair) I'm no saint, but it's always the ones with glass houses throwing stones, THE AUDACITY!

One thing I definitely learned is that people will speak their own truth, through the lies they tell about others. Things people often say about you is only a reflection of what they actually are. We only see sin, because we are sinners. Remember that.

The thing is, people will always talk no matter what you do. It's easier minding somebody else's business rather than building our own.

To Avoid Criticism, Say Nothing, Do Nothing, Be Nothing.—Elbert Hubbard

What about ourselves, though? How quick are we to judge, lie, and spread rumours? Do we spend more time criticising or uplifting people? Do we add more fuel to the fire or try to put it out? Would you like to hear about yourself the things you say about others? I know I certainly say and think things about others I shouldn't at times.

These are the few ways we can practice humility: To speak as little as possible of one's self. To mind one's own business. Not to want to manage other people's affairs. To avoid curiosity. To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully. To pass over the mistakes of others. To accept insults and injuries. To accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked. To be kind and gentle even under provocation. Never to stand on one's dignity. To choose always the hardest.—Mother Theresa

Tips on How to Handle Gossip, Rumours, and Lies

• Don't trust people who say "I heard" or "such and such said this."Those who sit to listen also sit to talk. Nobody feels comfortable to talk about you to a true friend.
• If it's not paying your bills, don't pay it attention. Time and energy are precious. Don't waste them in what's not worth them.
• You're not perfect. Don't be so quick to judge. Assumptions will never be facts.
• "Two can only keep a secret if one of them is dead." Realise that once you tell someone something, it's no longer a secret. No matter how much you trust them. (PLL taught me that haha.)
• The truth always comes out. Let people lie, what goes around comes around. As long as you know the truth, you don't need to prove yourself to people that don't matter.

You can be Rosa Parks and people will still say that you only remained seated because there were other seats on the bus.

You can be Mother Teresa and they will still say you're not that good of a person—you only helped because you wanted to look good.

You can be Jesus and people will still say you only walked on water because it was frozen.

You can be virgin Mary and people will still say you sleep around.

All that to say that, you can be the best person in this world, and people will tsill find something to say. Don't mind them. Do you, boo.

LMAO I'm actually so cringe aahahahah.

Love you guys, thank you for reading, and I'm sorry for taking so long to post.