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Follow Your Highest Excitement

Excited by living, not by doing.

By Maeple FourestPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
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Earthship-Inspired Chicken Coop (2018)

I am no longer searching for hobbies and activities to fulfill me, because I have come to realize that life itself is all the fulfillment I need. As I write these words, however, I’m reflecting back on those frequent moments when life has exhausted me; I collapse to my knees and scream at the Universe, “What’s the fucking point?!” And in all honesty, the last time I broke down like that was only 16 hours ago. I fall into these states –into an abyss that consumes me– and the thought of having to breathe and eat to stay alive seems overwhelming, exhausting and truly pointless. What’s the point of keeping this physical, fleshy body alive while I feel my heart aching for something I can’t see yet?

I believe many people –if not all of us– live our lives with that uncomfortable, hopeless, fatigued feeling in the pit of our beings. In fact, we’re told that it’s normal. It’s okay to hate your job; to despise your husband; to be exhausted by your kids. We’re taught that the aching feeling in our hearts and the screaming in our minds is all a part of being human –it’s a natural part of life. And then we’re told that we need to find things to do, to lessen that constant, chronic discomfort and fill the void still burning a hole in our hearts. But when does it cross the line from fulfillment, to distraction?

I absolutely love reading, but I also use it as an escape from my own life. And the same can be said about writing –and working, exercising, drinking, etc. Some forms of distraction and escape are obviously harmful, while others are encouraged and supported.

So how can we determine what brings us fulfillment, and what is a distraction from the lack thereof? –Passion and excitement! When you’re engaging in an activity or belief that seems to be fulfilling, ask yourself if you’re passionate about it. Are you excited by the thought of it? Would you do it even if no one paid you for it? Would you stop doing it if someone offered you money to? Do you do it because it makes you feel whole, or because it stops you from feeling how broken you are? These are just some of the questions we have about life, and while there are a plethora of answers, I’m just going to leave one here…

Follow your highest excitement.

There is something that excites each one of us, and they’re all unique from the next. Some people are excited by gardening, while others are passionate about writing; some are enthralled by parenthood, and others dream of traveling the world. We each have something that makes us giddy; something that makes us bounce out of bed in the morning and occupies our dreams at night. We each have a gift within us, and we’re here on the Earth to share that gift with the world. The problem is… no one talks about that. We talk about how much we hate our jobs, but we don’t talk about the gifts that bring us joy and fulfillment. In fact, those gifts are usually beaten out of us by the time we can actually do anything with them.

I’m a writer; that’s my gift. I was born onto the Earth with the ability to mould the written word, and I would be doing a disservice to myself and the world as a whole if I didn’t nourish and share it. However, from a young age, I was taught to ignore this gift. I was told that it’s something everyone can do, and that my love for writing was nothing more than a hobby. They said, “Being an author isn’t a real job,” and “No one is going to pay you for that.” I’m sure it came from a place of love and protection –who would want to squash a child’s dreams? They said it to keep me safe from disappointment, but all I could hear was: You aren’t worthy and your dreams don’t matter.

“You can’t make a living from writing.”

Even as I child, I knew that “making a living” really meant “making money,” and I bought into the story that I could never earn a living through writing. So, I did what most people do –I followed the money instead of my excitement.

I went to University to study something that helped others land well-paying jobs, and my ability to write effortlessly went to good use within that institution. I looked at the job titles that would be available to me upon graduation, and all the different companies that might hire me. I saw others succeeding on the path I was looking down, but I couldn’t ignore the sinking in my heart and the screaming in my mind. I stopped caring about how many zeros would be in my projected salary, and I started wondering what life would be like aside from the money and work. Let’s just say… I didn’t like what I saw. I remember when I was only 20-years-old, saying, “If this is all that life has to offer, I’m going to kill myself.”

Don’t get me wrong… I don’t make that statement lightly. But I think it’s important to share because I’m not the only one. I’m not the only one to look at the life that’s been laid before them and think, “What’s the fucking point?!” And my heart goes out to all those who couldn’t see the point, and chose to end it all.

Our lives are chosen for us, it seems, and it leaves many of us wondering why we should even bother. What’s pulled me out of this abyss, however, is knowing that I don’t have to live the life that was chosen for me –in fact, I shouldn’t! A promise of money and success should never be the most exciting things in life; and just because someone else found fulfillment down a certain path doesn’t mean it will be fulfilling for me, or anyone else.

We each have different passions, skills, talents, dreams and desires, but if we suppress and discourage them, we’re harming ourselves, and everyone else. If we continue to ignore the gifts we were born with, we will always be asking, “What’s the fucking point?!”

  • Part 2 – Making a Life, Not Earning a Living
  • Part 3 – Revolutionary Community Design

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About the Creator

Maeple Fourest

Hey, I'm Mae.

My writing takes on many forms, and -just like me- it cannot be defined under a single label.

I am currently preparing for Van Life, and getting to know myself before the adventures begin!

Subscribe, Stay Tuned & ENJOY!

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