Final Is Not Final

In 2013, I was faced with a bit of a personal dilemma. I had just started training for my first full-time job when it was announced that Maximilian of Yo video games would be the MC for the Xbox One Launch and subsequent Killer Instinct tournament in Seattle. Was I to tend to my training and pursue a career or take a risk and chase my passion? I ended up making the rational choice: Staying rather than miss training. I grew to hate it and ended up being asked to leave, but the training was invaluable.

In 2015, PAX Prime had the Beta for Street Fighter 5 available to the public. I was working as a dishwasher at the time and could not get the time off. Once again, a dilemma. Do the right thing and honor my employer or take a chance to rub elbows with the greats of the fighting game community? Once again, I did the responsible thing and did my work. It continued to eat me inside, the same as every missed CEO in Orlando and the like. (To this day, I still have never gone to PAX.)

But this cautionary tale has a silver lining.

2016 had some good highlights during a year of major lows. I went to my first events in Northwest Majors and Red Bull Battlegrounds in Seattle. Getting into the "Going in Raw" podcast reignited my love for wrestling, which carried good energy going into 2017; that year also was monumental in building clarity for my vision. Besides the dream job during this period of my life—through the mutual connections at the time—I discovered from Max Zaleski that the indy scene is white hot and made it to three consecutive live shows that year at DEFY Wrestling, which remains one of the most sought after promotions in the industry.

Slowly I was starting to build confidence in my PR skills and learning through trial and error about outsourcing.

And then a personal milestone was reached, seemingly out of nowhere, by capitalizing on a wild goose chase of an opportunity.

My scrub skills were featured on not one, but two of Maximilian's videos! (I'm the Cait and Sith player with the circa 2010 PSN username.) Even though the matches were botch fests because I was a bundle of nerves, I can at least put that notch on my belt.

But that's as far as the story has gone. Once again, I'm in that "career" grind and the financial insecurities plaguing us all means I've had to buckle down, be smarter, and make every investment count... there have certainly been days where I've wondered if it's worth it. If I stop here, this is where the journey ends. The vision dies and no one will know what could have been. Among the shattered dreams will lie any semblance of hope, the ball will be deflated and you'll be sent home.

But what if you changed the story?

What if I can get that sponsorship deal? What if I get into wrestling shape and let the world see the Cinderella story unfold before their eyes? What if I get into the big leagues and be placed at the top tier of names synonymous with success? If I settle, I'll never know. Settling for being ordinary would mean not shining in the moments when you are meant to be extraordinary, as is shown when one of the wrestlers performing wanted to take my picture, which I was highly honored by.

Failure is not final. Failure just gives you the opportunity to take what you learn and regroup so you can succeed at what you were meant to do later. Just because you don't see videos doesn't mean work isn't being done. A sturdy foundation makes the difference. I'd rather take longer to get there and have it be worth it than to get there too early and be a flash in the pan. As much obscure knowledge I may have, I have so much more to learn and I thank every single one of you for your contribution in this journey.

~Namaste~