Failure.

Failure is a universal language that all of us are fluent in. I’m sure the majority of people reading this couldn’t present a numerical value that could portray the number of times they have failed. And I am no different.

Too often, I find myself looking back and reflecting on all the broken promises I made to myself, all the commitments that I had given up on, and all the times I had fallen short despite believing I would do better. Struggling with addiction made this feeling all too familiar.

Failure is supposed to be formative. How can we continue to grow if we cannot learn from our past mistakes, using them to carve out a better plan for ourselves to avoid the same pitfalls? But still, I would continue to slip up. Despite knowing where I went wrong and what I could do to prevent it, I always found myself back in the pit of shame and guilt that failure often brings about.

What excuse would I tell myself? How could I possibly justify my shortcomings when I have everything at my disposal to succeed? A lot of us have an idealistic version of what we want our lives to look like in the future. A version of life that boasts of joy and contentment.

So, we layout individual goals to make that lifestyle attainable. Maybe that is by cutting down on calories to achieve a nice body or starting a side project with the hopes of developing it into a profession. But on the days when we are not as committed as we’d like to be, that future can seem unachievable.

We look at where we are and where we would like to be and the destination seems insurmountable. We look at the number of times we have fallen short and use that as an excuse to disregard our ambitions. We tell ourselves “we don’t have what it takes” or “maybe it’s just not meant to be”.

One thing we tend to forget is the progress we have made along the way. Sure, you’re not where you like to be but you’re definitely in a better position than you were when you first started.

Take a moment and pause, reflect on how far you have come and the obstacles you have overcome. Despite not being where you’d like to be, understand that where you are now is a far cry from where you were before. So take joy in that.

As humans, we are naturally inclined to look toward to future. To look towards what is next and how we can improve, which is helpful in many scenarios. But, as a result, it can be easy to overlook our current achievements and let them pass us by. There’s a quote from The Office that puts this into perspective nicely:

“I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you actually left them”

And I believe there is a way to do so. Stop and smell the roses. Don’t worry so much about the end goal. Don’t stress about how many times you’ve failed. The only way you fail is if you give up. As long as you are still trying and pushing forward, you can never fail.

Just take it one step at a time. It is in the journey that our skills and resilience are developed. Have patience and your time will come

“The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us”

- Romans 8:18