Every platform isn’t YOUR platform

I stumbled across this platform accidentally. I couldn’t remember how if you paid me to. I was a little timid at first, since I hadn’t indulged in my love for writing since I was younger, and I truly do not like reading if the words are not on paper in a physical copy of a book. Something told me to get out here anyway. “Write! Jump into every challenge that peaks your interests, and even write and publish for no reason at all” the little voice continuously said. So I did. The first thing I wrote was a poem for the true colors challenge. I truly thought it was unique and brought an aspect to the challenge that wouldn’t be discovered elsewhere. I wrote from my heart. When I didn’t rank in the challenge I was a little disappointed. When I read the poems chosen, I understood why mine was not. Then I wrote a horror story. It came to life for the people outside of this platform that I read it to. It sparked curiosity within my Instagram followers when I posted that they should, “stay tuned” for my upcoming published material. That story unfortunately did not pass the community guidelines for this platform. Upon reading the guidelines I understood why. The next work of mine consisted of me just free writing some poetry. I was inspired by someone I love and I wanted my love to radiate past my personal relationship and into the hearts of readers and writers on this platform. Still, it was barely viewed. I did not lose hope. I was new to this community and I didn’t quite understand what I was doing here to be honest. The next challenge I found compatible with me was one where I would write about how my job opened doors for me to make a difference. Though the job I worked and the role I play could be seen as minuscule compared to those around me, I felt I had the right words to correctly display what was noble about it. I felt my experience had been something to share, even if the impact I made seemed small. Again, when I read the winners I understood why my job paled in comparison. Still, I was upset. I felt most of these contests didn’t give range. They were rather stiff in the types of work they chose. After that I started working on something that was not meant for any challenge, but that was inspired by one. I started writing a children’s bedtime story. This particular bedtime story is the work I am most proud of to date. It has potential and if I hadn’t came to this website I never would have actually got back into writing. That same book that I felt would not be understood, nor appreciated in its totality, is going to be the first book that I publish. I wrote it for my nephew, who only recently was born, and whom I still haven’t had the pleasure of meeting. Lastly, I recently entered the challenge on what home was for me. Now this, this was something I knew 100% without a doubt that I could impactfully write about. For personal reasons, this was for sure going to be the one that helped break me in! I even received a $20 tip on it!!! The first tip I’ve ever gotten. So today I checked my email 637228636 times, looking for confirmation. I‘ve checked the vocal page 20 times since 8 this morning. I believed in what I wrote, I was proud of what I wrote! Unfortunately before writing this I was informed of all winners, and none of them were me. Upon reading the winners’ work, I understood why. You see, this platform is just not for me. What I am conveying, I am conveying to the wrong audience. I don’t believe I am the best nor do I believe I am better than the next. But I do know the value of going where you are seen and heard and appreciated. I do know the value of every lesson I was taught while using this platform. And I do know the value of everything happening for a reason. I am thankful for this platform. It has inspired me to go after things that I never knew I wanted. It has kept me resilient and creative. Most of all it has taught me that I must always go where I am needed.