Embrace the Suck

This is a phrase I try to tell myself as often as I can.

Sometimes, life just sucks. It really does. This situation sucks, or this person sucks. But that's really, really ok. Life isn't supposed to be easy. What’s life without a little drama, or bleakness?

I am currently living what I can very safely say is the worst year and a half of my life. Nothing has gone right. When I thought things couldn't get any worse, they did. When I thought little doors were opening, they were slammed shut and locked. And when I thought I had people to help me, they briskly turned their back.

And yet, going through this dark time is giving me an invaluable life skill that I believe all of us need to carry for the rest of our lives:

EMBRACE THE SUCK.

No one has ever lived a carefree, easy life. Because that's just not how life should be! Yes, you have losses, but you also have gains. You have been knocked down multiple times. But you have also been pulled back up multiple times.

We all have moments in our lives (including those without mental health issues) where we think we'll never be able to crawl out of this deep dark pit. Whether it be unemployment, grief, illness, debt, trauma, stress at school or work, loneliness, mental health or many others—but YOU WILL get out of it.

And one of the best ways that you can help yourself if you're experiencing a dark place in life is by just embracing it. A bit like a panic attack, the more you learn to ride with the symptoms, the less strength and effect they have on you.

Usually, that dark situation is brought on by something we can’t control. So, to get angry at something we can’t control is like punching an indestructible iron wall. We can punch it as many times as we like but the damage will only hurt us. A lot of dark situations come in waves. The iron wall won’t be there forever, so it is best to just let the "suck" run its course.

I am still very much working on embracing my situation, but I know I can do it because I know I will run its course. And I know I do feel a bit better about my situation because I don’t try to punch at it every day.

We are all surrounded by transience. The weather constantly changes as do our moods, our likes and dislikes, taste buds, relationships—the list goes on. Why is this crappy, dark situation that some of you are in any different? So just embrace it while it lasts, as much as you can.

This concept always reminds me of the Devil’s Snare in Harry Potter. The more you resist and fight it, the more it’ll just suffocate and tighten its hold on you. We are already going through enough in this dark situation so don’t be that extra, unnecessary stress. When you accept that, yes, this situation sucks but it’s ok and I’ll be ok, the Devil’s Snare will let you pass unharmed and you will be a better, more patient person on the other side.

And like many techniques that I have and will put forward on this website, this line of thinking won’t be ingrained overnight. It will take time and patience, but success is always best when it’s earned. The rewards are so much more meaningful, beneficial, and will stay with you in the long run.

You are ok. You will get through this. You're doing great.