Do It Right

I once worked for a severely bipolar woman. I can tell you the exact day she stopped taking her medications – April 3rd, 2016 – and she wasn’t exactly totally stable even with those medications. Anyway, one day she told me that during her previous life of working in government, someone told her “If you don’t have time to do it right, you’ll have time to do it over,” which is how people in government positions supposedly operate.

I like to do it right because all those people thinking you can’t even end up looking like fools. FOOLS!

Okay, not really, but there is something incredibly satisfying about quietly being like “I can do this. I did it. And I’m amazing. So I will accept plans for you to build a shrine to me now.”

In 2020, my husband and I had COVID and I ended up with a cough that didn’t go away for over a month. Any time I breathed too deeply or too quickly or just not a slow, short breath, I would cough. Coughing would make me cough more. And my husband had it, too – he recently was prescribed two inhalers and some pills which seem to stop the cough but don’t do anything for his shortness of breath.

Not being able to breathe makes it really hard to workout, exercise, or enjoy sex. I love yoga and use a free app to do yoga sessions, but had to stop because I literally could not breathe. Fast forward through December, and I was looking to start working out at the gym, or a gym, and I wanted to not be tired all. The. Time. So I started looking at gyms near me – thank you, Google.

I told myself I wanted to attend a class of some sort early in the morning. Only one gym nearby had a class in the morning that I would actually go to and possibly enjoy. I tried getting up at 5:30 as a test run for a week or two, and realized that waking up that early was making me become Full Dragon Lady outside of my Week of the Dragon. So that didn’t work.

Then, my stalker, *cough* I mean Facebook, showed me an ad for another gym which was running an awesome deal on membership fees and dues. Public Service Announcement: gyms have monthly fees, Membership Fees, and Annual Dues so read that fine print on what is what. I don’t really need a class. Working out would just be somewhat easier if I did, I thought to myself. So I signed up! (After reading all that fine print about dues and fees and fees and dues, as well a clause about not being able to quit without 90 days notice in writing.)

Of course on my first day there I got roped into a trainer session for only $10 instead of its usual $75. Heck yes! Turns out the trainer session is really a prelude to get you signed up for weekly training sessions so they can get all your money. I signed up though – and my trainer kicked my butt in that first session. The next three days were the worst muscular pain I have ever been in and I played both soccer and cross country in high school so you know that conditioning was horrible.

But I told myself that I was doing this. I’d come so far! I’d researched different gyms, decided on one, and dedicated time in my morning to being at the gym, which is super impressive because I have every minute of my day tasked with something. I don’t fully relax until after my daughter’s bedtime – even relaxing together watching movies or shows are a part of my day. I told myself I was doing this whole working out thing the right way, but I also didn’t want to break our bank account because there is still a pandemic going on and you never know what you might need as an emergency, so I signed up for one training session with a trainer per week. (I also asked for a lady trainer because dudes can creep.)

My first “real” training session after the days of pain went great! She was super nice and funny and we had some laughs. She coincidentally, or by design of me having talked to the trainer manager about my four year-old, also has a four year-old. She kicked my butt during the 30 minutes and then we parted ways.

The day before our session the next week, she cancelled because she had a stomach virus and she was letting all her clients know. That was okay, it was only one week and I’d been to the gym twice since seeing her. I went to the gym during the day and time I should have met my trainer and I worked on the treadmill. I was getting fit! Yes! Swoll!

I think that’s how you use that word. Maybe I should ask the chick who was lifting weights while also pointing and laughing at me during my initial training sesh? She would probably know.

The following Saturday I found out she had COVID and was leaving her position at that gym, but expected to come back “in the future.” The training manager contacted me and was like “we have two other lady trainers you could try. Pick one. Not that one, she’s unavailable when you want to meet. Okay, this one then.”

We texted and met and laughed and she was awesome! She even gave me a daily regimen to follow so I could work out without her! I’d been going to the gym almost every day and loving it! A morning work out just feels so good. I felt so confident about working out and doing a good thing for myself. I was trying to be good and run and use the exercise bike and all of the exercises. (I’ve been using the treadmill as my cardio of choice and running until I can’t, and then walking excitedly until I get my breath back and running some more, for at least 20 minutes for proper cardio. 30 minutes if I can manage it.)

She texted me later that day saying scheduling against her full time job was too much and she was leaving the gym.

The trainer manager was like “I’m so sorry. What are the odds. Are you okay. Please, I'll set you up with this lady trainer, please don’t hate us.”

I wasn’t mad. Honest. I laughed at the odds and told him so, but I also told him I would believe myself cursed if anything happened to this trainer. I’m just trying to be healthy the right way, you know?

I eat well, even if it might be a larger portion than most people. I love food - I don't discriminate based on cultural background because there's delicious food from all over the world. I do tend to eat my emotions; although I try not to eat my anger because I can’t taste the yummy food when I do that. But I love vegetables, especially roasted brussel sprouts, and I generally try to balance things out. You know, after a particularly not healthy eating day, I might consciously make the decision to eat extra fruit or something like that. We have pizza night on Monday because it’s my “long” day when I have to force myself awake at 6 AM, get ready for my day, wake my daughter up and get her ready for the day, make sure lunches are good, get her to school before she’s late, (now) hit the gym, get to work for the day, work until 5, then go get groceries on the way home. If I get my daughter on my lunch break and take her to daycare, then I won’t get groceries because coronavirus, but it’s still a long way to start the week. I tend to skip breakfast half the time because coffee fills me up.

I’m trying.

I’ll meet my new trainer soon. Our first session will be on the weekend, and then it’ll be on my preferred Wednesday mornings – unless she abandons me. Okay, so I might be feeling a bit out of sorts in regards to these trainers leaving and it’s only happened twice. I will cry if it happens a third time so she better not leave me.

I’m not eating fast food except for that one day because my daughter wanted chicken nuggets. I’ve been at the gym at least three times a week, usually more, since I joined right before New Year’s. I’m spending more money on the gym and a trainer in an effort to be fit, reliable, and someone my daughter can look up to. I’m taunting my husband about how awesome I'll look in a swim suit this summer. I’m taking the time and energy to work up my stamina and work out until I will have awesome sleek muscles.

I’m doing this. I’m being awesome.