Dear creators.....

So. To start off. I’ll say a good “hi” to the potential readers out there. As a struggling content creator who spent a year and a half to build of a band of my own, I failed miserably. I started from the age of 18, and experimented with everything I could get my paws on at the time. I had the resources and I had an idea. I was a passionate lad with an unbreakable mind. But as time goes by, I’m starting to feel exhausted. And honestly, I’m predicting burnouts to be a reality as the covid-19 pandemic is making a sence in 2020. With more time that I’m having on my hands right now, it’s reasonable to think I’d have more time to rest and think. But I’m already all so exhausted mentally. And I’m still back at square one.

I looked at the mirror at myself and think, “hey? What went wrong?”. After a brief section of deep thoughts in the bathroom, I did a check list while enduring my demotivative thoughts of doom. So here are some points that I put down to remind myself, annnnnd to give a visual to how we might be struggling as creators, a letter to my younger self. And basically, I’m putting myself on a table here.... so let’s begin.

First, Money, money money. Frankly speaking, this is one of the problems I will be dealing with for the two or three years towards my future. And the pandemic is making things worse already as it’s a cruel reminder to plan and prepare for a crisis cautiously. Note this, to have the ability to staying alive is a good way to preserve your progress. Remember, you yourselves are an asset. And try investing in yourself step by step and do yourself a foundation.

When I say do yourself a foundation, I literally meant making a name for it. Maybe you like drawing and your name is Marley. So name your foundation “Marley draws” and start being the first investor for yourself. As you slowly steps into adulthood, it’s crucial to use that power to the extent. And be your own believer when it come to a lifestyle or an aesthetic choice you would like to pursue. Plus , if you are going well and new investors happen to come to your way, then it’s even better as you have already established a platform for them to support your career . It’s easy to lost trace and lost faith (trust me. You will get beaten up if things gets rough.) , but it’s also important to look back to do vision checks from time to time. I’m obviously wasting a lot of time telling you to value yourself. Because I was a victim, towards the traps of debts and loans.

Don’t get me wrong. They are just cash from the future, and plenty of people will tell you why it’s bad. But the core evil of future cash isn’t about how much you borrowed. ( but actually. Also is . XD ) But how much it’s restrictive to the roads you could go. I encourage intensive and detailed planning and to find a legal expert to be involved around the matter of this critical financial decisions. You MUST consult any financial advisor before trying to pull any stunts around money like that. Because once after borrowing, you had to pay. And that isn’t really a good thing because it strips your financial freedom to do great creative decisions when life gets hard. Maybe you suddenly fancy in learning a new painting style or art form during this pandemic of a free time? Well... Too bad, because they will heartlessly squeez you dry even in times that are obviously financially unstable to say the least. And maybe all it takes is to not spend extra steps to take away that extra dime you could have earned to feed that creative mind of yours. I know this sounds pretty cliche, but as a victim myself. I could assure you that being in debt is no fun. And at certain times, when it’s critical to have something that’s is very essential to my project,it’s not surprising that I’ll be always a few hundred dollars short because of paying off them dam companies. And right now? It’s just getting worst. Unemployment rates are higher than ever in hk, and i believe it’s killing small creators all around like me because we mainly survive with part-times and freelance jobs. But now , it’s all down and we might be having a good time panicking about food. Let alone to create. With a more thinner budget than before, it’s often possible for us to give up our projects once and for all. Some are still lucky as they still have their patrons and some budget on gofundme.(and that why I’m telling you, it’s important to do a foundation for yourself.) But the irony is, this will be the hardest time for us creators. As we will be put to test for our love of our projects and creations. We now have more time to procrastinate. And we are most likely to feel burned out and slowly give up on pursuing that spark you had on that lovely little heart of yours.......

And that’s where I head to my next point, Don't stop. Believing. (Insert song reference)

Yes. Don’t feel bad that you haven’t actually achieved anything just yet.

I’ll actually try splitting it into two parts , my experience and my personality. It’s important to know yourself more by doing vision checks and diary if you may. I believe it’s a good way to track your transformations and experience as by time goes by , you might forget about it, and potentially missing something worth learning in the past. People’s words and comments are often tricky, so try blending both worlds to get a better idea about yourselves are key to nurture the art that you are. <3

So to start off with my childhood. I was a shy kid that is obsessed with the internet. It’s crazy how people just thinks it’s impossible to relive those younger moments anymore. The people i was surrounded back at work was feeling pretty shabby about life. They even take envy from celebrities and YouTuber in living a better life than them, and just did nothing but blaming themselves for not being successful in any mainstream standards. I was slowly infected, and thinking that in order to be successful, I have to try getting an education and as my parents said, “try to being more realistic in life”. I hope to spent time having fun and chill around, creating silly events and pitch out entertaining ideas to a community that I love and would embed myself into it. I want to recreate the fun times I had as a gamer and try exploring more throughout the wonderful world of the internet. I was willing to sit down on the computer and go through games after games. Videos after videos . Articles after articles. Browsing the Internet whole day just to fancy that little brain of mine. Back then, it’s was my only escape and passion in life. And I didn’t know I could actually make a living out of it. Until I see examples like pewdiepie, h3h3, Ryan higa. And much much more . Back then. I had a supportive community of friends who shared the same hobbies and will have unforgettable experience to spice up our teenage life’s, we teamed up like boybands and everyday we all know where we’ll meet. The cyber cafes. My parents will try to stigmatise my friends and say they are hurting my future and I’m not thinking “realistically”. My social workers at the time gave me the time to think if I really wanted to be unsuccessful and just play games all day and be undereducated. I was sceptical about the idea of being successful and happy. so I tried balancing both in my life. Both education and the internet. Until when I finished my DSE at my last year in secondary. I found out that my grades were kinda bad(134122) and I’m facing a financial problem with getting into college. So I gave up. And tried working jobs to stay afloat. I was simply intimidated to live my desired life to the fullest, because people kept saying it’s best to save up, and go for a better education. I wanted to find a community that I could feel belong like my younger days and just have a great time with each other online. Education is a lifetime, so I’ll always have time, right? But out of fear and confusion , I did what everyone else was doing in that situation as a teenager. and that’s to just suppress my true desires and being on autopilot in my life towards adulthood. I could never decide if I want anything, and my co-workers will describe me as being aimless towards life. And it annoys them sometimes, but I did blend in pretty well. I was simply “dead” for the past years of my life, and I based all my decisions on someone else, and never myself. It’s selfish to do so, as I was told. Basically I’m a walking cash valut , waiting to be collected. This was a bad year and a half for me. But I was wiser now.

So that’s why. I’m here to tell you. It’s SUPER important to know your roots. Honey, everyone has there ways to live life and the last thing you need is people’s approval towards your own decisions. Make yourself seen. Think back to the things that makes you spark and start working on that. The fact that you clicked into this article is a blessing because you are probably confused and miserable about your life right now and felt trapped in a box with nothing good but corona outside. And I’m here to encourage you to find something good, and put it in that box of yours . Whether is a hobby or an inspiration. Put that into your life. If you are in a situation that it’s hard to make yourself live freely and comfortably then plan your getaway, it’s going to be worth it to work your ass off in jobs and convert some of that cash into your passion. But it’s a choice to make, as creative work will mostly won’t payoff well in the beginning. So it’s important that your not only in it for the money, but also for your own passion. What do you need to make this childhood of yours reappear? Or maybe it’s better to phase it as “things you won’t feel sick repeating”. I believe there should be no shame in embracing what you truly love, because that’s what makes us tick as a person and it’s healthy for ourselves as we all have an aesthetically pleasing minds to feed. And to remember your roots will strengthen your beliefs toward your real beauty. And I think as a creator, it’s important to train your art as you are as time slowly goes by.

It’s ok to feel depressed and uncertain about what’s ahead of you. But it’s not ok to let others take advantage of you and disrespects you as a walking tool that they see you as. In this society we are living in, you are doomed to be partnering with the concept of capitalism. But a good player will know, that it’s important to know your enemies as well as yourselves . And that’ll be my second part, which is my personality. I’m known to be sort of a pushover myself. Because of the lack of enthusiasm for life made me into this bitter and petty person that I was around people. To feel like achieving nothing will haunt you someday. But eventually, it’s just a reminder for us to add more fun into our life’s. I’m very conscious around people, and often take criticism heavily. My nature of trying to grind and be better at something are often exploited mentally by managers to make me feel pressured and anxious about my job in general. I’m having a bad time coping , because I usually used all my steam on work and I’ll basically get wear off to do anything creative. But it didn’t stop me from working on my writing skills and my love for creating and the Internet. And at that time , I was basically trained to believe I will be working for them. Forever.

It’s not a bad thought. And it’s surly possibly depressing. But I fail to focus on the good part of my work life that I’m having now. And that’s on me , being skeptical and pessimistic towards the things I do with immense passion. I let myself think my work aren’t special and my career as a content creator online will just forever be a dream. And by assuming the worst. I’ve successfully made myself deeply depressed. At first, thinking what is making me humble is those negative thoughts, but too much really proves to mess with the brain like a lot. It scrambles your steady vision that your hoping to set yourself up to. And slowly killing the joy of creativity in general. And to my solution to both the outside sigmas and my inner struggles. Is to constantly make a vision check. The goal is to not nessercery help you overcome your emotions, but to strengthen your beliefs and your roots. To not lose track, even your are at rock bottom right now , like me. Or at a top peak from time to time. Because we all make decisions from time to time. And your best hope in life is to take the route that is the closest towards your roots and beliefs. And trying to bounce back from problems even though life gets harder for you, as an individual. Keep Thriving and stay coherent , as you will eventually come to a point that you will be valued and seen as an individual. And to be possible to find that group of people you could most likely to relate with and have support with.

So what’s a vision check? You may ask. It’s frankly just writing down the things you enjoy and why is it that you enjoy it. I do diaries and shot writings. I enjoy recording and making stories. To me, I was attracted by how a good story could store meanings . And how a great melody could store feelings. The art of influencing, it keeps me awake at night just to be thinking how everything is essentially a product, and how everyone has that unique sense of individuality that makes stories fascinating. It’s simply beautiful. The concept of simplicity and complexity are not to be unseen as well.

If you happen to read up to this point, you might wonder. “Those are big words , do you really know what it means?” And the question itself is what I want to achieve as a writer. To be able to surf around the definitions of words and play with the nuance between it. But that’s my passion. What’s yours? After knowing that answer, you should try hard to keep it. Even in desperate times like in this pandemic, or lavish times like when you’re art finally has value.

And finally, plan and do research. I’m a sucker for instant gratification and the idea of earning passive income was like a head first dive to me. I’m well aware that shady practices are very well designed to con people like me to give them all my money. But make no mistake, people close to you could also pull that off if you trust them enough that they will help you back. The lesson here might be there isn’t any free meal in the world. But I’d rather advice you to be more vigilant towards ideas like these, as they always say in consumerism, “if anything is free, you’re the product.” . So , if they are doing it for you solely for you benefit. As they will claim to say, it’s important to look through the ways they are currently using to help you and to remember that you have the TOTAL RIGHT to have transparency towards the project. If it’s looking suspicious to you, then it’s best to back off and move on. I want to just advice you to say no as if I knew you know no better. But the issue isn’t always about how they are tricksters and how they are taking advantage of you. Because there are a place for that already, and that are big companies and monopolies. The point is to tell you to have a deep read of the contracts first. Before deciding on anything that will ultimately alter your life. And not to tell you to not trust people. Because that’s just bad advice, as tribalism goes. It’s going to be unhealthy for you and you might develop wacky symptoms that disassociate yourself from society. But again. I might be reading it too deep. As self awareness makes people make use with their own psychological knowledge for their own personal gains. The intention I believed could be neutral, since it’s simply not my goal to further make humanity more and more isolated. I simply believed that you should be careful, but not NOT to trust people.

So it’s very wise to equip yourself with skills and knowledge that are very close and useful to the hobbies and passion projects that you are currently doing . And for me ? It’s to keep up my writing practices , drop down ideas. And try reading and watching content that I desired in producing . I’m going for a freestyle vibe of writing that always centers back to a topic and a question. Making it dreamy and seems kinda realistic at the same time. Maybe a stretch, I might be making content too, similar to the commentary community that I’m currently watching from YouTube. And long stories, I’m trying to create my own style and hoping it will shine through. And if I’m lucky enough, I want to be a talk show host and also be a song writer and a singer as well. I’m working on many things, and it’s depressing enough to feel stuck during this pandemic. But I urge everyone around the world to stay focus and use this fine time to polish your art. If you’re like me right now, stranded and truly lacking support for your work. Don’t give up. Because I believe there is value in very piece of work that we do and it’s important to know you’re here to improve in life. Step by step. I like to think our work is like uncut diamonds, it just needs some cutting and time. If you ever feel like you want to share or talk about stuff like this or anything really, my DM are kindly open. I’m available in Twitter (@beslyprobably), Instagram(my handle: besly_probaby) or Facebook (besly. I’m that goofy looking cartoon character. And I’m brown, with curly hair). Heck. Even Discord(Username. I also have a server. But it’s from scratch, hope someone could help me with that. Lolz ) Reddit (cocalicious) and WeChat (coco besly) and more. XD

I’m planning to write like once or twice a week here. And my topics are more philosophical and freestyle driven. If you want more of me, it’s also an option to go to my Instagram and go for the little short writings i post almost twice a week. It’s in the little circle under my profile and I bookmarked my every writing so I won’t lose it. Hope you all creators out there are staying safe and strong in quarantine. And I’ll catch you guys..... at my next post.

It’s was basil fresh, and remember to stay fresh, my basils. 🌿 :D